My son will likely be getting engaged in the next several months. He’s been thinking of alternatives for the actual proposal.
I figured it would be fun to hear what people here have done or heard about that were creative, fun, etc.
This is probably just me but I’m not a big fan of over the top proposals that involve other people ( like at a baseball stadium, concert, etc. ) .
My son took a train from DC to New York to pick up a custom designed 2+ carat ring done by long time girlfriend’s college friend. He told her they would have dinner at a very nice DC restaurant that night when he got back from New York on business ( so she would know to dress up some).
He proposed in private on one knee in their apartment when he returned from New York. They then called both families and sounded so excited (we knew it was coming). Then instead of going to a restaurant, he took her to the apartment building’s club room for a surprise . Their local good friends were waiting for them to celebrate the engagement!
I’m certainly biased but I thought it was perfect and very romantic!
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What if he has an elaborate plan and she says no? Can you imagine that happening at a ballgame on the big screen?
I proposed at our favorite spot where went to watch sunsets. Just us.
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Gilmore Girls had the whole elaborate proposal, girl says no episode. When we watched that, I mentioned it to S who laughed and said that no one does that. Most couples have already thought about it, discussed it and she’s not going to say no. So, it’s more about coming up with a cute way to propose, something unique to the couple.
Couple of proposals I’ve heard about - one took his girlfriend to a cute B&B, had friends decorate the room and proposed to her there. Another toted a camera and a tripod on a hike up in Hawaii and set the tripod/camera up supposedly for a picture before actually popping the question. Another girl we know is very much into musicals - he took her to a musical in SFO, managed to get her on stage and proposed there.
Not a wedding proposal, but prom-posal. S lit a whole lot of tea lights (friends helped him) set up in the form of a question for his girlfriend.
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Agree that many couples these days know before they get engaged that it will be happening. The examples you gave of the proposals all sound lovely. Personal but not over the top. Some of the ones that end up getting social media attention just seem contrived and gimmicky to me.
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So many of the elaborate proposals seem to staged just to post on social media. A friend’s D’s boyfriend rented out a brew pub, hired a professional photographer, and had 100 friends ready to surprise her. It seemed so over the top and impersonal.
The cutest thing I’ve heard lately was a scavenger hunt concept with cute notes and photos from their dating history, ending with finding the ring. I think they did it in their backyard.
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One of the trends I’ve seen with the recent proposals is that they tend to have someone (a friend or a professional photographer) around to “capture” the moment. I know it’s a bit contrived, but since I love photos, I like this. It also gives the couple the means to post this on social media after.
It’s so funny that you say that. Both of my adult daughters don’t like that at all. I have seen way too many over the top proposals with the photographer near where I walk at the beach.
D1’s bf knows that if they get engaged he needs to do something very personal with just the two of them (and maybe their pup).
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My SIL took my D to their favorite “special occasion” restaurant, The River Cafe, which is near where they live in Brooklyn. The restaurant also has a beautiful private garden which apparently you can reserve short periods of time. He proposed to my D in the garden with just the two of them (and a photographer LOL) and they celebrated with an amazing meal.
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Back in the day, H asked for the private room at a nice restaurant (no extra charge) and brought me a dozen long stemmed red roses and an inexpensive fake ring that he proposed to me on one knee. We also had a lovely meal before or after. No spectators nor photographers were present. It was perfect.
We shopped for the perfect Diamond and ring together after I said yes.
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Seems to me that if it’s already decided, then it’s about the spectacle, not the actual idea of getting engaged. Not a fan. I mean I’m in favor of doing whatever you want, just not into this whole performative, curated trend myself. /curmudgeon
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@garland I don’t think you are a curmudgeon, but I happen to agree with you. I am just not a fan of all the perfect “look at me” Instagram perfect posts in general. My girls have a friend they grew up with that has all of the photos from the perfect proposal with the rose petal heart above the ocean here. Then the family all came out to toast the happy couple. The guy ended up being a jerk and broke this girl’s heart prior to the wedding. She then deleted every sign of him from her social media.
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My best friend from age 8 had such an experience, though not on Jumbo-tron. The man she was dating took her to a fancy restaurant. All of a sudden a violinist came to their table, along with the Maitre d’, who handed her a beautiful menu. He suggested she review the “special of the day.” Printed in the same beautiful cursive as the rest of the menu was the following: “_______, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
She didn’t want to marry him. They had never discussed marriage. She had never told him she loved him. It was so awkward and weird. The whole restaurant had paused, all of the wait staff were standing there waiting to applaud, etc. She was so mortified. She just nodded “yes” because she didn’t want to humiliate him in public. The restaurant reacted with whoops and cheers, violinist began playing some love song she no longer remembers, champagne was uncorked, etc. Once they were alone, she broke the news to him, which he should have been able to intuit based on her lack of enthusiasm.
She said it was one of the worst nights of her life. Needless to say, they broke up.
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Smart move getting the ring afterwards. Rings aren’t returnable. Ask me how I know. Lol
This is the most elaborate proposal I’ve ever seen or heard of:
Girlfriend’s favorite movie is Sleeping Beauty. He takes her to a private showing of the movie.
Man gets cartoonist friend to insert the two of them into the movie at the end. Girlfriend is puzzled when Sleeping Beauty changes to look just like her (black hair, brown skin and eyes). Then the close up of the Prince reveals her boyfriend. Her facial expressions were priceless.
In general, I’m not a fan of the big proposal, but in this case, I guess you go big or go home.
D2’s boyfriend took her on a trip to a remote resort near Big Bend National Park. He rented one of the “Bubbles” units, where you can look up and see the stars. He proposed to her there, just the two of them. I was happy he did it the way he did. She loved it and said for her, it would have been ruined with a big audience.
Some couples love the big production, though. To each their own.
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What if he has an elaborate plan and she says no? Can you imagine that happening at a ballgame on the big screen?
There’s been times where exactly this happened. Here are a few:
Even if rings were returnable (hmmm… Costco?), it is always smart to keep the real one in a safe place if the proposal is to happen somewhere where the ring can get easily lost!
Like in this story:
My boyfriend proposed to me while I was in the shower)) He said he wanted to take me by surprise. I usually don’t tell anyone about this)
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Wow! Where was their wingman?
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So here’s my long story…
My wife and I were living in Manhattan. It was the one year anniversary of our first date and we decided to book a special dinner at the Rainbow Room at Rockefeller Center. Once that was done, it occurred to me that it would be the perfect opportunity to propose.
The guy who owned the Rainbow Room was on the board of one of my clients, so I called his secretary to say that we had a reservation and could you please make sure that we got a nice table because I was going to propose. I must not have worded my request well, because she came away with the impression that I was going to propose right there in the Rainbow Room. My wife would have killed me if I did that, so I actually proposed riding in the limo on the way there, hoping/expecting that she would say yes and that we would have a nice celebration.
Anyway, we get to the Rainbow Room, get a great table, sit down and order drinks and our meal. After the first course, my wife gets up to go to the ladies room and the Maitre D’ rushes over to me to say that he’s been watching and waiting for me to get down on one knee and propose because he’s got the photographer and champagne (courtesy of the owner) all ready to go as soon as I did. Apparently the secretary had gone the extra mile and arranged all of this. He was heartbroken when I told him that I already had proposed on the way there. Still got the champagne and our picture taken (one of our favorites 25 years later) and had a fabulous evening, but I felt bad for everyone who was waiting for “the moment” that they never saw.
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