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<p>But individual sports like tennis doesn’t work? Why is that? Just to be transparent, I am an avid tennis player (my kid isn’t, and is not pushed either in that direction). I played 3-5 hours of tennis each day when I was in high school (a long, long time back). But then I grew up in India. I still play tennis 3-5 hours - but each week. It’s a great sport. I grew up idolizing John McEnroe.</p>
<p>No wonder USA is not producing any tennis greats anymore.</p>
<p>I am not quite getting why there are certain ECs which are better for Asians. Are Asians some how different? My kids do ballet, but if they didn’t have any talent it wouldn’t matter how much we want them to dance. Since they are bi-racial, I wouldn’t be able to tell which side they got their talent.</p>
<p>Ok I will take the bait. Football player will be neat to see. We had a winning football team and an Asian kid that got a full boat ride because he played well. He was not even in the top 5% of kids at the school.
How about track and field as a sport, volunteering in a soup kitchen, or spending time at a nursing home. I never see any of the Asian kids really doing any of the durty work volunteering to be honest.</p>
<p>The problem with these ‘typical’ ECs is that kids do it unwillingly and without much passion for it. At the end of the day, if your kid is really, really passionate about playing piano/violin, being a mathlete and playing tennis, there’s nothing wrong with it. But the problem with kids doing it because they or their parents believe it’ll get them into a good college is that admissions officers can typically see through their disinterest in these activities whether it arises in the fact that the student doesn’t go above and beyond in any of these activities or in his/her essays.</p>
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<p>That’s what I thought.</p>
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<p>Is that true only for these ECs, or only if they are done by Asians?</p>
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<p>Are Asian kids in general big fans of football? My experience says no. So it will be hard to get them to do something that they don’t really enjoy. I guess parents can push, but that’s wrong in my mind.</p>
<p>Same for the rest. If the kids don’t want to volunteer to do “dirty work”, why force them? Shouldn’t they do what they love to do?</p>
<p>May be the answer is indeed to force the Asian kids to do something that they don’t like, as long as it matches what most other kids do. I don’t like it and won’t follow it. But xiggi and others claim that that’s the right way.</p>
<p>D2 is going to be president of the Children’s Cancer Society. She will be raising money and also visiting kids in hospitals. I am not thrilled with it because where we are I am concerned about her safety when visiting hospitals, but she wants to do it. When living in the States, she also volunteered to give out food to homeless people in NYC in the winter (she passed out food to people sleeping in parks and under bridges, not warm cozy soup kitchen). I also wasn’t happy about it, I told her there were other “easier” volunteer work, and she said, “I know, but they were all taken.” H made a lot of brown bag lunches for her to pass out.</p>
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<p>I personally think Asians are the same as everyone else. But I keep hearing that Asians don’t have the right ECs.</p>
<p>If there was no such thing as college, how would your kid spend his/her free time outside of school? Do you know? That, to me, reveals their true interests and “passions.”</p>
<p>If there was no such thing as college, my kids wouldn’t study for SAT. It’s the most worthless and waste of money EC my kids have ever done.</p>
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<p>Piano and math and squash. To drop out of regular school which is boring, and be a concert pianist, a math professor, and a squash pro (my kid is young and dreams a lot, but also has enough skills to pull off any one of them, but not all three as all take a huge amount of time).</p>
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<p>IP, is that what I wrote? Did I say that the Asian kid should be forced to do something he does not like because that is what other kids do?</p>
<p>Sometimes, I feel you ask questions for the sole purpose of finding faults in the answers. Again, there are no specific ECs that are better or worse for Asians. It is my opinion that IN THE COLLEGE admissions context, activities that are essentially solitary are discounted. Do I KNOW this? No, not at all. Do I know what your kid should do? No. Do I think he could parlay his current passions into something that “looks” good? Yes. How about TEACHING math or music to underpriviledged kids in your community. Give him the money you generously contribute to your local school to start teaching math or even the SAT. Try to build something that could be long lasting … perhaps recruit others from his school, raise money from your friends, and make it happen. But do this ONLY if it makes sense to your kid and might never show up on an application – which he would not need for a conservatory, anyway!</p>
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<p>I thought you said even if the kid doesn’t like group activities they should do it, right? If I misread that please excuse me.</p>
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<p>Ditto that.</p>
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<p>SAT, indeed, is about the worst exam I have ever seen, but GRE and GMAT are close.</p>
<p>Xiggi raises a good point in post #32, one that I hadn’t thought about directly until just now. When you first posted, IndianParent, I thought of my own Caucasian kid who is at one of HYP and who fits your Asian prototype on two of three counts (no tennis). But as I think about it, there is another piece to him, a piece that involves working collegially with others and giving back to the community: He did this (and continues to do this) not to shine on his college applications, but because he wants to, and because volunteering is a significant part of our culture. Maybe that’s where you might want to reevaluate your priorities if you’re disappointed with your children’s admissions results or the prospects for Asian students in general (if it is the case that your position on volunteering is one that’s widely held in the Asian community). You say you consider volunteering useless. But as others have pointed out, you might find it satisfying if you try it. </p>
<p>Top colleges are not just looking for brilliance (although I’d say there are some rare exceptions). They’re looking for great minds who have also demonstrated an ability to work cooperatively with others to solve the world’s challenges. Volunteering on a meaningful level signals that ability.</p>
<p>wjb,</p>
<p>I am a little confused here. I was told many times that Asians parents shouldn’t force their culture on their kids. They should let the kids find their own path. However, you seem to be saying that Asian parents should force volunteering on their kids, even if the kids don’t like it, because that is the US culture. I don’t like the concept for forcing kids to do something that they don’t want to do. I understand that colleges need to be sure that the kid can do academic work in a group, but that should be clear from high school class work. I am not sure what soup kitchens add there. It is precisely because of this that a whole parallel industry has started to manufacture volunteering ECs - the topic of another thread. While I can well afford it, it is beneath me to manufacture evidence so blatantly. That’s a quandary, no?</p>
<p>Maybe a better approach would be to not <em>foreclose</em> any of your kids’ ideas for ECs. Kids are extremely perceptive regarding their parents’ biases. Your kid may really enjoy volunteering, but has never pursued it because he senses your cues of disapproval.</p>
<p>The reason they should do it is because they can see another point of view. Live in someone elses shoes. Put themselves out there and stop being so self centered. Bring meaning to why one educates themselves. When at the end of the day they can really give back to society. </p>
<p>A college only needs so many piano/violin, tennis/squash and math atheletes. College isn’t only about academics in America. Colleges want to have a well rounded body of students so that it is more interesting and entertaining for them. They want sports players, singers, writers, and many other types. They can because so many kids fit the academic requirements.</p>