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<p>You do not practice some other guys music. You interpret it.</p>
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<p>That, xiggi, is precisely my point. So many things can be done to pad resumes, but why do it if your passion is not in it?</p>
<p>If on the other hand your passion is in hitting the perfect drop shot 10 out of 10 times, and to get there you have to practice a thousand hours, and you are willing to do that, why not do that? You only live once, shouldn’t you pursue your passion?</p>
<p>I can say one thing for myself. I have always followed my passion, and that has been the most rewarding experience.</p>
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<p>You misunderstand me. </p>
<p>Top colleges – and many American parents – want their kids to “strive for personal brilliance” in piano, violin, math, physics, tennis, golf, WHATEVER it is they excel at. </p>
<p>But top colleges – and many American parents – also want their kids to use their “personal brilliance” to do something that benefits not just themselves, but the planet. And that something doesn’t have to have anything whatsoever to do with piano, violin, math, tennis, etc. It can, if that’s what the kid wants. But it can also be something unrelated to what the kid does so brilliantly. Channel that abundant brain power in a completely different direction.</p>
<p>Where to begin. Assimilation is no easy task. I proposed team athletics as an alternative to the usual violinist/tennis player. There can be no pushing of a successful athlete although I’ve seen many, many parents of all races who did just that. Why? Money and entree to top unis. Team sports is very American. In grueling competitive moments, on the field and off, people of all cultural and socio economic backgrounds unite in a very unique way. I guess even though it’s an imperfect model, the athletic playing field can be a venue for a strange kind of leveling. It would be and is a perfect place for an Asian kid to have a meaningful EC. But just wait, if your kid happens to find success there, what you’ll likely face is a lot of jealousy and whispering behind your back that “they” are now taking the spots of “our” kids. At that point you just throw up your hands and smile.</p>
<p>IP,</p>
<p>It is my impression that most very accomplished musicians start very young. So young in fact that their parents basically “force” them to practice until they are old enough to develop the discipline to do it on their own. In fact it is usually the parent that decides that their child should play an instrument in the first place. How is this any different than parents “forcing” their kids to do volunteer work?</p>
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<p>The former is precisely the much vilified Tiger Mom approach, no? Is that approach OK when applied to something that is acceptable in US culture, like volunteerism?</p>
<p>I have the impression that most accomplished musicians have undergone a fair amount of prodding in their younger days. Am I wrong?</p>
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<p>I agree. I have perfected the smile already, when random American parents come up to me and make snarky comments of being a Tiger Dad.</p>
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<p>I have no idea. We didn’t have to prod at all. The moment our kid won the first competition at a tender age, it was like a tiger who tasted blood from then on.</p>
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<p>I understand that, but also believe that it is too naive an assumption that helping the planet can come only from volunteering. The kid who grows up to be the next architect of the future generation nano-chips, or whatever, may not have ever set foot in his/her own community, outside of home. But the social contribution is HUGE regardless.</p>
<p>It’s getting late and I have to push off now. I think my question in the OP is adequately answered. Don’t do solo activities and volunteer.</p>
<p>Next question, should you follow your passion or not? What advice to give to a kid - of any race? Should you care if your passion takes you away from group activities or volunteering?</p>
<p>Well then perhaps I am wrong then. I do know a few musicians who, in their younger days, didn’t have the discipline they needed to sit at the piano bench for one hour at a time. They wouldn’t have stuck it out without some parental “encouragement”.</p>
<p>I only bring it up to make the point that, as parents, we do influence what activities our children pursue and to what level they pursue it.</p>
<p>JHS, By the way, thank you for that post. I couldn’t have written it myself. It was simply brilliant.</p>
<p>Some have even taken it as face value, which has been hilarious.</p>
<p>It’s not all about wanting your kid to get into a great college, IndianParent, although for many of us that is certainly important. It’s also about teaching your kid to be a good person. It’s that simple. I guess from a cultural standpoint we have different ways of defining that goal. </p>
<p>But comparing your child to a tiger who tasted blood after winning his first competition? I have to say that analogy disturbs me. And I have one who did plenty of high-level competitions, too. Pride in doing well? Absolutely. Wanting to draw blood from his competitors? No.</p>
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<p>That is not the message you’ve gotten from this thread. But you know that.</p>
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<p>That’s what is called a killer instinct, and it is crucial for success. It is most applicable in sports. Some call it momentum. Others call it finishing the opponent off. It is a very American thing actually.</p>
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<p>Do you think people who don’t volunteer are not good people?</p>
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<p>What is the message, then? If I may make a request, state it in a couple of sentences max, please. That is, like an elevator pitch. I request this, so that I do not get confused again.</p>
<p>Got a flash for you, IP. Some who lack killer instinct compete quite successfully. It’s about talent, hard work, and poise. Killer instinct is optional. </p>
<p>I think people who don’t think beyond themselves and their individual desires are not good people.</p>
<p>Because if Asian cultural preferences are what you want, why did you come to America? I am assuming you are from India. You came here for a better life. Why didn’t you stay in India with all those smart Asians? Why? Answer that one question. </p>
<p>America culture is more like stew. It takes more than just potatoes to make it taste good. </p>
<p>I see you as wanting the golden keys. You see HYPS as the golden keys. We are saying you don’t get them without a price and it is going to cost more than great grades and SATs. Too many of our fine kids can do that. So you are going to have to figure out how to seperate from the pack. You can not in all your greatness figure out how to do that. The secret is that no one knows what the colleges are looking for. If they did, they would all do it. The target is always moving.</p>
<p>Here is the message you requested:</p>
<p>Do the solo activities. Do them to the very best of your ability. Achieve brilliance, if you have it in you.</p>
<p>And also volunteer, by which I mean do something that doesn’t just benefit you individually. </p>
<p>Simple enough elevator pitch?</p>