<p>Duke - wouldn't you know it, the one time they were innocent, someone busts the lacrosse team.</p>
<p>Georgetown - nice neighborhood; scary architecture</p>
<p>Johns Hopkins - nice architecture; scary city</p>
<p>Tufts - don't know how to say this, but you're too big to be in NESCAC</p>
<p>Colgate - nice everything; really there is nothing bad I can say about this school.  Maybe the winters.</p>
<p>Wesleyan - some of the brightest, savviest kids in America.  Really, going there is like entering a school for sorcerers.</p>
<p>Northwestern - looks like West Point with sororities.  Socially, somewhere between Duke and Chicago.</p>
<p>Vassar - See, Wesleyan.</p>
<p>William and Mary - America's most nerdy state u; best known for its restored 18th century host city.</p>
<p>Vanderbilt -  big sports; big hair.</p>
<p>University of Virginia - William and Mary but bigger and in a scarier town</p>
<p>University of Chicago - Big Science and Big Economics; part of the original Manhattan Project.</p>
<p>Skidmore - LAC named for a famous donor; no one remembers who.</p>
<p>Washington University in St. Louis - "The Northwestern of the Midwest".  Wait, that's redundant.  Then again, so were all those cards in the mail.</p>