<p>It IS weird. The school that creeped my son out is an excellent school by any standard, but he just didn’t even want to entertain the thought of living there for four years, and this was just from driving through campus. Maybe it was because it was the site of a massacre? If that gives anyone a hint. Some kids are deeply effected by history and I suspect that had something to do with it. So, when I think of it in terms of the history of the place, I guess I think it’s kinda creepy too! :)</p>
<p>LOLZbabe， Milton is our (parent’s) first choice because we want my son to be a day student. His own first choice is Exeter for which he is willing to board and second choice is Milton. </p>
<p>I have talked to many local people, who have gone or know someone who have gone to Milton, and it seems to have very good local reputation, better than Andover even among some.</p>
<p>Another school I really like is Brooks, but my son doesn’t.</p>
<p>Good God, Neato, I think I know which school it is, but that massacre happened over three hundred years ago!! If we are to feel “creepy” about every historic place where blood was shed, then how is it that we venerate those same places? I suggest reading a little history of the event, so as to put in in perspective. To shun such a highly regarded school because of that is plain ignorant and really laughable. I could understand if it happened one, five, ten or twenty years ago – but 300?!</p>
<p>Leanid, I sent you a PM. It’s nothing against the school per se.</p>
<p>So? What massacre and what school? My history is rusty.</p>
<p>I could pick this and I’m not American… Clearly the indoctrination in US History is paying off. Although being the obsessive kid I am, I looked up the historys of all the towns where the schools are. Just think Paralabane: French and Indian War. The massacre wasn’t much of one by history standards but it beats the Boston Massacre I guess. I’d tell you straight out but I don’t know if neato would want me to announce it.</p>
<p>It’s not that big a deal guys. And it is getting sort of off topic. </p>
<p>The point is, sometimes the feeling a kid gets from a place can have nothing to do with the school and everything to do with the kid. It’s about fit. Even a highly regarded school like Deerfield can be a turnoff for whatever reason. Maybe some kid can’t see himself playing soccer on the same fields that little children were marched through in the dead of winter on their way to Montreal. Leanid finds that
OK. That’s fine. </p>
<p>I might think it’s plain ignorant and really laughable that kids find SPS or Groton “creepy.” I don’t think it’s ignorant or laughable, of course. Kids have reactions for any number of legitimate reasons, whether we understand them or not. They’re the ones who have got to live there.</p>
<p>The point is that there are simply so many really fine schools out there that one can afford to be not want to live at one for whatever reason. It’s not like Deerfield (or school XYZ) is the ONLY place to get a good education. Some schools “feel right” and some don’t. </p>
<p>Once you cut past the prestige, it becomes pretty simple.</p>
<p>Is the campus exactly on the village site where it happened? Wonder if there is a memorial sign of some sort there. </p>
<p>If it is at the same site, yeah, I would feel weird too. If it is miles away, I would not worry about it.</p>
<p>
Faymom, what are Milton’s strengths compared with Andover?</p>
<p>Yes, it is on the exact spot. It’s in the village of Historic Deerfield. School children from all over New England come and tour the houses that are right next to the campus. In fact, when you drive through, you can’t really tell what is campus and what is not and many of the historic homes are owned by the school and are staff homes.</p>
<p>Back in the late seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries, the original “stockade” area of Deerfield, was where most, if not all, the houses were located, surrounded by sturdy stockade fencing (wooden logs). That fairly small area is pretty much in the middle of today’s campus. The “Street” runs right through it in a south/north direction.</p>
<p>The unfortunate residents (those who survived the attack) were forced to walk to Canada by the marauding Native Americans (the Pocumtucks, I believe), assisted by the French. Logic dictates that the walk would have been northerly. Deerfield’s playing fields are on the western part of campus. It is unlikely, therefore, that any of the survivors marched through that area.</p>
<p>The Indian House Museum, part of Historic Deerfield, has a door which bears the hatchet marks the Pocumtucks made in an attempt to enter one of the houses.</p>
<p>Neato - By all means, your son should go where he feels most comfortable. Adolescence is a most difficult time in life, and unneeded stress should be avoided – there is more than enough of it at that age.</p>
<p>I am afraid that I have led this discussion a bit off track with my example and for that, I apologize to the OP.</p>
<p>What is relevent to the discussion, however, it that it seems that kids need a reason to for a “hades” school to be unappealing, as if all teens should find them the “holy grail” of BS simply by virtue of being listed in the top ten. Sometimes, something just doesn’t feel right and that should be enough.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong, these hades schools are a great fit for more kids than gain admittance. I am acutely aware of that! But there are gems of schools beyond this realm.</p>
<p>If one goes into the process blind to prestige and concerned about mostly where their child will be happiest, it creates a completely different perspective. My son applied to 6 non-hades schools because they were places that he thought he could thrive. He also applied to some hades schools for the same reason. Does he have a favorite? Of course! But there’s not a stinker on his list so all he needs is one opportunity.</p>
<p>I think there is considerable cross-over between hades, other top schools and so-called second tier schools in opportunity, culture and expectations. I have tried very hard not to let reputation colour my child’s view of the schools he has visited. It is one of the reasons he is not present on this board and won’t be until after both the schools’ decisions and his own decision are made. (Though he does relish the though of coming on here next year to give advice to future applicants.) </p>
<p>He has some idea, but not an explicit one, of which schools would be considered reach, safety or match for him. Truthfully, I don’t worry about it because I feel certain that he would find the challenge, community and respect between faculty and students that he deserves at all of them.</p>
<p>It is interesting that neato’s son had such a negative reaction to a current reminder of the massacre at Deerfield. My son had a reaction too, but it was quite positive. This event, which our tour guide told us was a part of King Philip’s War (1675-76), gave Deerfield depth and intrigue that other BS’s lacked, especially in light of the fact that one of my son’s direct ancestors played an important role in that conflict: he was the treasurer of the Massachusetts colony and was charged with the duty of collecting funds to wage that war. I say this with neither pride nor shame, but just as a statement of fact. Deerfield brought alive for my boy and me this critical episode in American history. This evidence of history alone made (and still makes) Deerfield one of my son’s favorite BS’s.</p>
<p>
With all things equal, why not choose one with more name recognition? It’s just human nature to pursue the best they can possibly achieve. That’s why you need a reason to make “all things not equal” - if that makes sense. There is nothing to be “guilty” about for pursuing reputation or prestige as long as it is not the only thing or on top of your list. You should be happy that your kids are in the run for even the most selective schools. If he’s getting B’s and C’s with no major hooks, you probably wouldn’t even worry about it. Just sayin - :)</p>
<p>True, Benley. I see your point. I really do. The thing is, all things may be equal (or near equal) by the numbers, but they usually aren’t by the intangibles. </p>
<p>Prestige can indeed be a very desireable tangible, especially when it come to alumni networks and connections. It seems like there was a thread about this last year called “How important is prestige” or something like that.</p>
<p>I found that thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/645974-whole-prestige-thing-playing-my-mind.html?highlight=prestige[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/645974-whole-prestige-thing-playing-my-mind.html?highlight=prestige</a></p>
<p>neato,</p>
<p>From a worldly perspective there must be 150 to 200 boarding schools in this country that most countries in the world would salivate at. The very fact of attending any one of them confers prestige. Even third and fourth tier schools have faculties, facilities and opportunities that are the envy of much of the world.</p>
<p>You do well to not linger long on the common trap of “Ooh, ooh, which is the most prestigious school I can get into?” Take each school on its real merits, not some intangible and elusive concept like “prestige”.</p>
<p>leanid, I think we agree much more than we disagree! </p>
<p>I thought that thread from last year was very interesting and thought I’d share it for those who aren’t as pathetic as me for having been around so long. :)</p>
<p>I think the key here is “all things equal…” because chances are they won’t be.<br>
We visited with my son 12 schools, have since added one more with my daughter and have been on the campus of a bunch of others for games etc.<br>
Yes, many of them (most) have terrific facilities. All have challenging academics.
You might even get nearly identical FA packages if that matters.<br>
But it is the “other stuff” that makes the school a good fit.<br>
Required study hall (biggie for us), what kind of meals, dress code, teacher availability, health center…those things matter to us parents (and to the students). But it’s how the student feels when they walk on campus. That will not be the same at two schools.<br>
Personally, I tend to put Andover and Exeter in the same “category” of big schools and I view them the same. I’d be willing to be anyone who has been to both on a re-visit day would disagree.
Time and time again we hear people who absolutely love a school and others who walk onto campus and go huh?
With my son’s top 2 choices (especially his first, where he is at) we knew within 3 minutes of being on campus for the FIRST TIME, that it was a great place for him.<br>
So, I guess my point is, there will never be “all things equal.” If that makes sense.</p>
<p>Of four so called top tier schools my daughter applied to the one I found most magical, she found a bit dismal ( in comparison). My other favorite school she found " musty". The one I would put last on my list she found bright and inspiring and just loves. So that is her first choice.
As far as prestige goes they are all prestigious. And if prestige really means that much, remember it is more whom you know than where you go. In other words, if you are in the same clubs, or social clique as the so and sos. John Kennedy never felt accepted at Harvard. Fit is everything!</p>