What are your views on the college experience?

Student Lounge College Life
61

<p>I would like to emphasize how much I agree with the posters here who explained how college completely lives up to all the hype, and then some. If you ever think or say otherwise, I feel sorry for you. Because it’s nobody’s fault but your own if you’re not enjoying it (I’ll explain more below), and sadly, many people externalize their inability to feel and embrace college life, into really any excuse their subconscious comes up with.</p>

<p>cowman: There’s a secret to enjoying college (and life in general). If you understand the principle of this secret, then you will see how ridiculous it is to think that college life is over-hyped, or anything short of incredible.</p>

<p>The secret is simple; Realize how much opportunity college gives you, and use that opportunity to explore and experience amazing and wonderful things – whatever it is you want. Realize that college is not going to magically give you the time of your life, but rather it enables you to make the time of your life a reality, as long as you embody a positive and “can-do” attitude.</p>

<p>Now if you honestly are swearing off social or emotional interaction with girls, then I agree with others who feel sorry for you. This is a serious psychological issue you need to address soon. Once you’ve sorted that out, continue reading this post.</p>

<p>College gives you incredible opportunities you may never see again until you after retire (and then you’ll likely be old and wrinkly). If you don’t accept this, you’re in denial. To name a few things, you have tons of free time (with no rules from parents), a life where every day you meet all kinds of interesting intelligent beautiful people, and a community where everyone has a lot in common, an atmosphere of learning and information sharing, (depending on your transportation opportunities) a whole city or state to explore with friends, and an atmosphere of enjoying life and having fun!</p>

<p>In short, college enables you to experience things you may have only dreamed of before. If this doesn’t excite you, I’m not sure what would. If you’re sole interest is in your career (antisocial), then maybe besides making industry connections, college may not be best for you. But if you’re the least bit social (even a tiny bit), college offers so many opportunities for a great time in addition to quality learning, that you’d have to be severely depressed or emotionally bogged down somehow to not enjoy it.</p>

<p>If you are emotionally or psychologically attached to your home town, or any other “baggage” for that matter, then college will definitely seem over-hyped to you. I know home can be familiar and comfortable, but if you cannot let go during your stay at college, you will most certainly be miserable.</p>

<p>Do you want to be miserable? I’ve seen it happen all too often, I wish people would just wake up! People go to parties, do things with friends, etc., but their home town and all the friends behind sticks to their mind all day to the point where they become practically incapable of feeling anything, and it completely ruins the experience.</p>

<p>I would even go so far as to say, if you don’t refer to your college dorm as “home” as naturally as the house you grew up in, then you need to reconsider your attitude.</p>

<p>If there’s anything that college is not, it’s not a place that necessarily builds character if you don’t already have it. And I don’t mean personality – there are lots of people with rich personalities, but very poor character. I refer to an internal attitude to better yourself in every way possible and enjoy life, and just be thrilled to be alive.</p>

<p>Myself, I come from an uneducated poverty level family in a small dead-end town, grew up a social ■■■■■■ (incapable of socializing in any way), and without any formal schooling. I don’t let circumstances or other people’s pessimism stop me. I educated myself, socialized myself slowly, built a career, made money I never dreamed of before, and am now paying 100% my own way through a very expensive “rich kid” college. I, for one, am extremely grateful for all the opportunities college offers and there’s no way I’m going to throw that away by making it a glorified trip to the library.</p>

<p>Think about it.</p>

62

<p>NotBlue, those are things particular to the college experience, indeed.</p>

<p>1) Not all of those things provide benefits that are inherent to people; their not considering certain aspects of college (one hopes) means only that embracing them would not provide a benefit. The fact that I have access to drugs does not inherently mean that I should take them – extreme example, but gets the point across.</p>

<p>2) College experience is one of many – many adults I talk to like their lives better now than ever before. This includes college students, young adults, middle-aged adults, and old persons. “Tons of free time” extends into adulthood by choice, that same community can be reproduced to an even greater extent, etc. Things like “an atmosphere of learning and sharing” again are not inherently “good” to people.</p>

<p>3) Why would one need to consider college a “home?” Who are you to determine what attitudes of other people need reconsideration? There are many – valid – reasons why someone would not feel like college is home. I’ll mention one – “home” by definition is with biological/legal family.</p>

63

<p>Notblue is just trying to say that you need to go into college with a great attitude.</p>

<p>Last summer I did a going away program for five weeks at WashU. It was my first time away from home and I hadn’t exactly been a social butterfly at home. When I got there I decided to meet as many people as I could and have a good time.</p>

<p>I ended up not studying as much as I should have, not at all actually, but I still pulled out a B in one of my classes and an A in another. By the end of the program I knew everyone there and had a fling with a hottie for the last week, ended up winning a prestigious scholarship for my ‘leadership’ on the last day. </p>

<p>Because I went into that with no inhibitions, I made it basically the best five weeks of my life. And I got rewarded for it too. I could’ve focused on my academics like some people on this forum would advise, always at bed before midnight and doing my 40 pages of reading a night like a good student, and that would’ve gotten me an A instead of a B. I also wouldn’t have had that hot fling, or the award (that was undoubtedly worth more than a lousy A), or the good times I had instead.</p>

<p>The jist is that when you go to college, you gotta drop all your longings, all your attached strings and go into it with a fresh slate and an open mind. Introduce yourself to everyone you see, meet all sorts of new people, do crazy things and have a good time. You’ll be happier with yourself and you’ll find that you’re actually having greater success in every area of your life because of the spreading of this positive energy.</p>

64

<p>

Home to me is the place or places I build roots and live my life. You would be foolish to not be able to let go of a home you grew up in (otherwise you might as well just live with your parents all your life), just as you would be foolish not to consider college a new home for you. If you go on through life eternally thinking that your only home is the one you grew up in, you will be doomed to a miserable and ungrateful life.</p>

<p>There is only one valid reason why someone wouldn’t feel like college is a home: the case where your college is something you despise such that you would feel less respected for associating with it – in which case you shouldn’t be there in any circumstance anyway. So no, if you’re at a college by choice, there’s no valid reason to not call it home.</p>

<p>

I should hope your life will only get better after college! That’s obvious. The point is that college provides opportunities you never had before, and some that you may not have again for decades. Nothing inherently life-changing, but if you take the right attitude, it can be great.</p>

<p>

That’s what I said – college doesn’t automatically give you a great experience, it gives you a amazing set of opportunities from which you can make a great experience.</p>

<p>I personally never have and never will ‘do drugs’ in any form. You’re missing the point if you think I said you MUST do EVERYTHING you can in college. On the contrary, I simply said it presents great possibilities that you would be a fool not to be thrilled by.</p>

65

<p>

</p>

<p>Fine, home is where you build roots to you. I’m even willing to accept that definition as a universal one.</p>

<p>What you seem to be suggesting is that wherever I am physically for an extended period of time is home to me. Duh. By that definition, no one considers college “not home.” Using your definition of home, how could anyone claim that college is NOT home? It is by definition “home,” rendering your original statement meaningless. One lives one’s life at college just as much as at any other point in time.</p>

<p>And “not letting go of childhood home” is not the antithesis of “considering college home.”</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>In the same way that we constantly have opportunities that will be available no other time. College is one stop on the road, to engage in almost unbelievable banality – your point can be generalized to every point in one’s life.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>The great experience does not come directly from taking advantages of the opportunities you listed. One can have a great experience without partaking in the “learning environment” outside of the classroom, not meeting all the “intelligent beautiful people,” etc.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I never claimed as such.</p>

<p>And some people are never thrilled in the way you are suggesting.</p>

66

<p>

When did I say it was directly? When did I say you can’t have a great experience otherwise? I don’t see your point, because none of this really disagrees with what I said.</p>

<p>

EXACTLY!! :)</p>

<p>Allow me to quote myself:

</p>

<p>I’m glad you got the key point I was trying to make. Why do you think people here are feeling sorry for cowman? Not because he’ll be miserable in college, but because he’ll be miserable in life if his attitude doesn’t change.</p>

<p>

Some people are also never truly happy and fulfilled in life. In both cases, I feel sorry for these people because it’s only their internal mental state that causes this.</p>

<p>The point is that college undeniably provides some great opportunities you won’t see elsewhere for many years. If this doesn’t excite you, if even for a minute you think college is over-hyped despite this, then quite simply you have an attitude problem that will doom you to feel miserable throughout your life.</p>

<hr>

<p>This really isn’t important to the main discussion, but I like logic, so can’t resist responding :)</p>

<p>

Absolutely not.</p>

<p>

Yes, I’m glad we can agree on this definition. Now let’s take a look at my quote again:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Copy-n-paste the definition we agreed on, and it becomes:</p>

<p>“If you don’t build roots around your college dorm like you do at home, then you need to reconsider your attitude (the implication being that otherwise you will be miserable)”.</p>

<p>So if you want to dispute my assertion about thinking of college as home, you will have to prove that living an extended period of time without building any roots is just as enjoyable as fully embracing college life and letting yourself take root.</p>

<p>This could be proved only by excluding social relationships, the establishment of which inherently requires roots to be built, by definition.</p>

<p>As numerous posters here have already attested to, as long as you aren’t afraid of social interaction and forming attachments, college is NOT over-hyped. Therefore, if you cannot consider college as “home”, college will seem over-hyped to you, and you won’t really fully enjoy it.</p>

<p>I could give rewrite this argument in tedious, formal logic notation, but I won’t, under the assumption that you understand the logical soundness of the deductions made here (given the established definitions).</p>

67

<p>

</p>

<p>That is correct – it does not disagree with what you explicitly said.</p>

<p>And “directly” means that “great experience” does not include any of the things you mentioned for everyone. In other words, I’m not talking about a causal chain in actual life, but rather a connection in the rhetoric of your post.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Yes, and for the most part I agree with it, but definitely not all.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>You are missing my point. You stated, roughly, that there is something wrong with people (or their mindset, or their attitude, or they are fools, etc.) who do not approach life in the way you suggest, i.e. being “thrilled” by new possibilities or whatever.</p>

<p>I’m simply stating that not being thrilled by the possibilities that college presents in no way indicates anything else, including but not limited to lack of fulfillment or contentment in life (the implication of the statement I quoted).</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Again, my problem is not with your attitude or even what you’re posting, for the most part. But what you are saying is basically as follows:</p>

<p>“My personality is X. I am happy. Everyone should be X.”</p>

<p>Do you see the obvious problem here? You are obviously entitled to feel however you want, but it’s ridiculous to me that you believe that anyone who is not excited by the same things you are has an attitude problem that needs adjusting.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>It’s easy. Some people are at college to get a degree and are not interested in forming long-lasting connections with people there.</p>

<p>The onus is on YOU to prove that those people, and anyone else who does not “fully embrac[e] college life” in the incredibly narrow and arbitrary way that you suggest is clearly burdened by an enormous attitude problem and could not POSSIBLY be happy in life.</p>

<p>I’m sorry, you made the assertion in the first place. I’m asking you how you know the psychology and sources of happiness for every single person on the planet. I also am curious as to how your idea of fully embracing college life is somehow the universal one.</p>

68

<p>

I’m not saying that. One of the best things about life is that people with a vast spectrum of personalities are able to enjoy it.</p>

<p>What I am saying are there are some key principles (you could say they’re a part of character, but certainly not personality) that result in an attitude that will open your eyes to amazing opportunities in life, and allow you to make use of them and enjoy your life as much as possible. Yes, I am saying that everyone should optimally have this outlook. To say otherwise would be admitting you can sit in your room and brood on why you think your life ‘sucks’, and still call that an optimal attitude (extreme example, but you get the idea).</p>

<p>Let me put it this way. Imagine growing up in a poverty level family, working years of manual labor to barely afford a roof over your head and some beans for dinner. Now imagine the average college student and all the opportunities open to them, telling this kid that college is boring and pointless other than a few good classes. It’s not hard to see through this self-deteriorating cycle people put themselves in, and how much better their life could be if only they could understand how amazing life is if you just allow yourself to feel and enjoy it.</p>

<p>

I’ll just say this: Do a survey, and have people rate their level of contentment and happiness in college (or life, if you prefer), and ask them what they believe the best thing is for an enjoyable and fulfilling life experience. I would wager that the ones who enjoy themselves the most will all give you a similar answer, and that it will have to do with an attitude like what I’m trying to describe.</p>

<p>Show me a single alternate attitude that directly conflicts with the one I describe, and I’d be surprised if those people weren’t in one way or another miserable, stressed out, discontented, or something similar.</p>

69

<p>

</p>

<p>I think we agree on this count, but probably for extremely different reasons.</p>

<p>However, I would say that the attitude itself is being open to opportunities that will benefit you. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Out of curiosity, if someone derives great enjoyment from this, why is that attitude sub-optimal?</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t deal in wagers. And my outlook on life would disqualify much of the data that would come as a result of such a study.</p>

70

<p>

It’s a figure of speech.</p>

<p>

Not everything is good to derive enjoyment from, even if it doesn’t effect anyone else. Just as deriving enjoyment from cutting yourself is “sub-optimal”, so is scarring your brain with a destructive attitude.</p>

<p>You might say, “Well, if someone likes to feel sorry and brood, maybe that’s their choice in life and who are we to judge?” By identical logic (if mental and physical health are equally important) you would have to condone self-inflicted injury, so the logic doesn’t work (unless you actually do condone self-inflicted injury, that is).</p>

71

<p>this is not a good place to ask the question</p>

72

<p>

</p>

<p>Who is the arbiter here? You? That’s all I’m saying.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>They’re not equivalent at all, at least here until they are established as such – it is an arbitrary equivalence posited by you. Physical health and mental health are important but different, for one. Two, you haven’t yet established that such an attitude is similarly destructive. Finally, you have not laid out the attitudes that are destructive.</p>

73

<p>I could continue arguing but it’s kind of pointless.</p>

<p>I understand what you’re saying, and it’s true I’m being a bit extreme with my examples. We agree on most points anyway.</p>

<p>At least I think we’re agreed that college isn’t over-hyped for some, and if cowman wants a good college experience, all he has to do is change his mindset a little.</p>

<p>My main reason for posting here is I don’t want cowman’s negative attitude to worry or discourage future college students from looking at college positively. Because if you go into college expecting the worst you’ll make the worst into a reality.</p>

74

<p>Internet Argument!</p>

<p>I think the OP just simply has not figured out the most basic part of human nature:</p>

<p>If you want to enjoy fellow humans then you are going to have to conform. You are going to have to go and follow the herd.</p>

<p>That is what enjoying College is all about- Conforming to the student mindset.</p>

<p>If you don’t conform, you will not be a member of the herd. If you use sites like Facebook then you may(or may not) be angry at not conforming since you with see children claim to have more fun than you.</p>

<p>So, the solution to enjoying College is to:</p>

<p>A. Stop thinking
B. Follow the herd.</p>

<p>This strategy will work in many other areas throughout life. Following seems to be the more favorable objective as oppose to leading!</p>

75

<p>That’s true to a certain extent, but certainly not in association with college - just social dynamics in general.</p>

<p>There are a lot of personalities and mindsets in a college, although I guess it depends on which one you go to. As long as there are enough people in your general area of study, you’ll most likely find people who don’t pressure you to “conform” to much of anything – at least in my experience.</p>

76

<p>

</p>

<p>Totally agree!</p>

77

<p>Just by going to College we are conforming to the mindset in which society has spoon-feed to everyone from a young age: Work hard in school, go to a good College, and then get a job.</p>

<p>That is the way the educational system has been designed. </p>

<p>Of course, not many eighteen year olds would be thinking about this while arriving to College as Freshman. At that age, the most important thing to (the majority) of the students is “What am I going to be doing on Friday night?”</p>

<p>If the OP isn’t enjoying it then it (probably) is because of two reasons.</p>

<p>A. He hasn’t conformed to the student mindset and what most students do in undergraduate study.</p>

<p>B. He doesn’t want to conform but is still measuring his own satisfaction against what he sees other people doing.</p>

<p>We all interpret his responses as negative because he doesn’t confirm to what we think he should be doing(Well, actually I don’t think this. But it is irrelevant).</p>

<p>FYI- Things like Partying/Drinking are “conforming” or “herding.” Just like going to church on Sunday would be “herding.” As would the massive migration of Freshman students into dorm rooms. It is all a blur of the same picture. Humans are not so different from farm animals.</p>

78

<p>

“B” is a possible explanation, but “A” alone won’t prevent someone from enjoying college.</p>

<p>There are plenty of examples of people who don’t “conform” like you say yet still manage to have a great time, so “A” really serves only as a poor excuse.</p>

<p>I, for example, agree that people shouldn’t have to go to college to get a good job, and in fact you don’t have to - not necessarily anyway (with the exception of professions where you need to be licensed in some way by a university). At 18 I was earning $70K per year at a desk job with no degree. I know it’s not the highest salary in the world by some people’s standards, but it’s not too bad either. I joined college at 20 because I figured I should do it while I’m still young, because it’s an opportunity that won’t be quite the same later in life. And a degree can’t hurt (sure is expensive though, I sometimes wonder if I should have just bought a nice Porsche instead :wink: )</p>

<p>I just want you to know that I’m not “conforming”, because according to what you’re implying, in this case I shouldn’t be having any fun. Yet I still manage to enjoy college immensely, still without conforming to drinking alcohol, crazy parties, etc. (it’s just not my style).</p>

<p>On the other hand I’m not like the poor confused “non conformists” who reject good ideas and mentalities in the name of “avoiding evil conformism”, all of whom ironically end up looking and acting generally the same most of the time.</p>

<p>There are so many types of people and personalities, it’s silly to imply that if someone’s not having fun in college it’s probably not because they’re conforming to drinking, etc. As if drinking and partying were the only fun things to do in college when you’re not doing homework.</p>

<p>No, it’s not about conforming. It’s about attitude, most people will agree, with few exceptions (like maybe if you hate studying and have a workload where you literally can do nothing but study, but in that case it would be your fault for going into that situation – don’t blame college).</p>

79

<p>How the hell did you get a $70/K a year job right out of high school?</p>

80

<p>All you have to do is find something you passionately like to do and learn all you can, practice, get really good at it, and be productive until your portfolio becomes better than a resume.</p>

<p>Anyway on the topic of the college experience, I think I should clarify if it’s not already clear that when I refer to enjoying college I’m talking about a reasonably good college where you’re living on-campus. Community colleges, junior colleges, etc. don’t count.</p>