What can a kid do when their parent will NOT fill out a FAFSA?

Paying for College
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<p>sk8rmom - Well, he’s NOT technically in high school now…although he hasn’t yet gotten his diploma. Hmmmm. Wonder how that impacts things.</p>

<p>In any event, I did investigate all that back in March when his dad was telling him that he had to get out of the house.</p>

<p>Perhaps if he defers his diploma, enrolls in high school in the new town, and looks into being certified as an unaccompanied youth…</p>

<p>At the very least that would get rid of the whole ‘getting dad to fill out the FAFSA’ issue and allow him to be declared an independant student.</p>

<p>I will have to talk to him about that. Like I said, I have already advised him to defer his HS diploma until he explores all his options. He’s not going to be able to get his diploma until August when the office staff come back anyway, but he’ll probably need to get right on that if he wants to defer it. (Which is also why it’s hard to talk to anyone at the school right now.)</p>

<p>I think that tomorrow I will call the mom of the one kid I know who defered his high school diploma and pick her brain. She is also a lady who took in the friend of one of her older sons and I think he still calls their place ‘home’ so she is probably a good resource for finding out what options are out there for kids with no where to go.</p>

<p>We’re not really in a position to take the boy in. Partly because my husband just isn’t comfortable with the idea. Partly because we simply don’t have the financial resources to offer much (even in the way of transportation, etc, as we live out in the country). If his extended family in the small city with the career center and the community college really WILL let him live there then that would be a much better location for him, as he can get around by bike and perhaps even by bus.</p>

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<p>Franglish, your assessment is right on. It’s just weird. I’d think that this dad, having recently lost two family members, would NOT want his kid to potentially land on the front lines. Like you said, if the kid WANTED the military then that would be another matter entirely, but he does not.</p>

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<p>This is slightly off-topic…but I’m always interested to know why parents who think their kids are failures want to send them to the military. The military is difficult, especially for people who don’t want to be there! And there is a hierarchy there, as well – students who don’t do as well on tests, assessments, and classes get worse job assignments and have a higher likelihood of being in harm’s way. In addition to that…the military isn’t a babysitter or an incubator for immature adolescents to grow up and get better or something. It’s a set of real jobs that exist for the defense of our country.</p>

<p>A lot of parents think that they’re going to send their kids off to the military and that they’ll suddenly become perfect little automatons that will do whatever people tell them to, like the movies or something. Not so. I have a lot of family in the military, and intransigent civilians are generally intransigent servicemembers. There’s a lot of insubordination and slacking that goes down.</p>

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<p>Juillet, I wonder that same thing. </p>

<p>Honestly, I feel like the dad just wants someone else to take over ‘responsibility’ for the boy. That way dad can get out of offering guidance and support AND the dad has the ‘bonus’ of being able to say, proudly, that he has two sons in the military…as if he deserves the ‘glory’ for that. </p>

<p>And those whose kids ARE in the military should be proud…not saying they shouldn’t. But if your kid feels forced to enter the military simply because you’ve slammed every other door in their face…well…I somehow doubt that daddy would mention that when expounding the accomplishments of his kids, know what I mean?</p>

<p>And if the dad had been a military member himself it might make more sense…but I don’t think he was.</p>

<p>On a personal level, the people I know who have benefited most from the military are those who signed on willingly and with very specific reasons for signing up. The ones I know who signed up more because they wanted to ‘opt out’ of making decisions for themselves STILL seem to be drifting along not really accomplishing much. I can’t say that I know anyone personally who felt FORCED into the decision though. And I hope I never do!!!</p>

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<p>He can get married. That makes him independent in the eyes of FAFSA.</p>

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<p>Bartleby, yes, that is true, but it seems a pretty extreme way of dealing with the situation. I don’t think his girlfriend is ready to get married yet. It is not something I would advise him to do when there ARE other ways to deal with the situation.</p>

<p>I got an email back from the financial aid office at the community college he might be attending and was informed that there is a new regulation allowing a student to file a FAFSA without parental information and qualify for $5500 in unsubsidized loans. That would just about cover his college costs there for a year. Plus, there are scholarships he can apply for, even still for the fall semester if he hurries.</p>

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<p>

maybe the dad wants the boy to take responsibility for himself.</p>

<p>I am not saying the military is right for this boy but he does have other options. There is no obligation for any parent to provide a college education or even to continue to support their children after age 18.
He can get a job. If there is a CC in his city/town, then he can work and take some classes. If he does well then maybe Dad will reconsider.
Truth is - lots of adults put themselves through college the hard way - it’s all about desire and hard work.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately there is no community college in our town.</p>

<p>Up to this point his dad has not allowed him to get a job. Nor has he allowed him to get his driver’s license.</p>

<p>The kid only JUST finished summer school and is still living at home, so I’d bet that his dad has not allowed him to even consider a job until he was done finishing his credits for his diploma. It hasn’t even been a week since he got done.</p>

<p>I guess I’d feel more that dad simply wanted the kid to take responsibility for himself IF the dad had been allowing the kid to DO things that were allowing him to take responsibility…like get a job.</p>

<p>As things are, my own son, who has been employeed previously AND has transportation, has been unable to get a job OR get rehired where he used to work due to a hiring freeze…I can see where it might be even harder for this kid, with no previous job experience and no transportation to get a job anytime soon. I was talking to someone I used to work with who is also out of work at the moment and was told that there are virtually NO job openings in our town. There are openings for truck drivers and that is about it.</p>

<p>And the fact that the kids dad isn’t willing to help pay for his education is fine by me…I realize that dad is under no obligation to help pay…but the fact that he is significantly cutting into the kids financial aid options by NOT filling out the FAFSA…that bugs me.</p>

<p>The tricky thing for this kid is housing. He absolutely cannot afford anyplace to live at the moment. Nor can he attend a community college living with his dad unless he’s got a car and license, and he doesn’t have either.</p>

<p>If he lives with the family in the other town (which I’ve learned is his step-mom’s relatives, so that might be tricky and end up falling through) then he WOULD have access to a community college via bike or bus. He would still need to find a job though.</p>

<p>I’ve thought of someone else he might be able to stay with if it comes right down to it. He would have access to a DIFFERENT community college and it would be harder to access via the bus, but not impossible. No idea if that person would be willing to let him stay with them at this point though.</p>

<p>It’s just hard to figure out what his best course of action is. Yes, he needs to find a job, but what if that doesn’t happen for a while due to the economy? What if his dad says he needs to be out of the house BEFORE he’s able to find a job and find housing? Then there’s the transportation issue. He DOES live in town (relatively small town) at the moment and can get places by bike for a job. Not sure how well he’d be able to bike places in the winter though. No buses in our town.</p>

<p>In any event, he’s planning to contact the relatives he might be able to stay with. He needs to register with selective service and has college applications and a scholarship application for the one college to fill out and mail in SOON.</p>

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<p>The thing is - even if Dad filled out fafsa, it’s likely he still would not be able to go without Dad’s financial help and support.
He needs to sit down with Dad and talk about what comes next.<br>
If he needed to go to summer school in order to graduate from high school perhaps he is not “ready” for college - regardless of his academic abilities.</p>

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<p>there is a new regulation allowing a student to file a FAFSA without parental information and qualify for $5500 in unsubsidized loans</p>

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<p>While this is true, it requires that the parents sign a form verifying that they will not provide any financial assistance for their child at all … they have to certify that they refuse to provide anything and that they do not intend to assist their child in any way with any expenses.</p>

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<p>Kelsmom, thanks for pointing that out.</p>