What do I do?!

<p>So, the long story short is that I committed to an Ivy League university, received a likely letter, but now want to take a gap year as I feel that I am not ready to matriculate to university next fall. I rushed into a decision blindly because I was excited at the prospect of attending an Ivy League school but am now unsure as to whether I am a good fit for that school, or what I want to do with my life in general. I know that I would greatly benefit from a gap year. The nature of my sport makes it so that I could be recruited during my gap year, so my question is, will other universities be averse to recruiting me because of my withdrawal from this commitment? I would like to emphasize the fact that I do not want to withdraw because a better offer came along, but that I genuinely do not know what I want to do with my life and do not feel ready to go to university in less than a year's time. I would like to call the coach as soon as possible and explain to him my situation and have him withdraw my ED app in order to minimize fallout. What are your thoughts? Do you think this will impact my viability as a recruit in a year's time? Thank you!</p>

<p>Hello?</p>

<p>There are different ways to take a gap year, and the path you choose could affect your ultimate outcome. One path would be to continue the admissions process at the school that issued you the LL, and then once admitted you pursue whatever process the school employs to petition for approval to defer your matriculation for a year. Hard to predict the reaction of the coach if you were to take that path, but at least he would know that eventually he will have you on his team (assuming you stay with the sport and your skills don’t deteriorate). I doubt he will be happy, but there’s frankly nothing he can do once you have been admitted (in terms of your admissions status), although it may adversely affect your playing time and standing on the team ultimately.</p>

<p>The other path – and this seems to be the way you’re leaning – is to withdraw your application altogether, restart the process next year at several schools and perhaps choose an entirely different school, even possibly a different Ivy. If this is where you’re headed, I would expect the coach will be extremely irate. Likely Letters are precious commodities, scarce in number. He likely will feel that he wasted one on you and that you have now left a hole in his roster. He will rightly ask why this epiphany that you’ve now had was not something you could have figured out as recently as five weeks ago. It is a fair question. Although there is not supposed to be any quid pro quo for the issuance of a LL (ie, the recruit does not need to commit that s/he will attend), as a practical matter I believe that is almost always is the case.</p>

<p>What will all this mean for you? The Ivy League is pretty tight knit and I wouldn’t be surprised if the coach spreads the word about what has happened. If you are truly a one of a kind prospect that any coach would kill to have then perhaps it will not matter. If, on the other hand, you are a coveted but somewhat fungible recruit, as most Ivy athletes are, I could imagine it mattering a great deal. </p>

<p>If you were my child, I would advise you to think long and hard about what you are doing. In fact, you may feel quite differently in 10 months about your preparedness to matriculate at that time (I’ll hazard a guess that you will). The decision you are making now, however, could possibly have long term ramifications.</p>

<p>I encourage you to discuss this all with your parents and/or a school advisor and make sure you’ve examined this from all angles. I’d also solicit the input of your high school/travel coach. Try not to make this decision entirely on your own.</p>

<p>I certainly have no monopoly on wisdom here, and the situation you’ve presented is a new one on me. Hopefully others will weigh in too.</p>

<p>Best of luck.</p>

<p>Confused, I was born in the dark ages, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. A gap year may provide for added maturity and better focus, but I don’t think it is a guarantee that answers to the tough questions will follow within a year. Also, remember that high school senior year is a kind of roller coaster and the fact that you have some certainty on your plans so early may cause you to second guess yourself and the wonderful opportunity that you have.</p>

<p>Only you can decide what to do. If it were me I would grab the opportunity and not look back. Gap years are not usually kind to athletes, unless you are going the 5th year prep route. Whatever you choose, however, do not choose it because you don’t know what you want to do with your life. That is why people go to college – to help figure that question out. People who have charted their career out before college and follow that chart after they graduate are far and few between. Moreover, I’ll go out on a limb and say that 90% of high school students have some concern about whether they are ready for college. Sometimes, you need to jump in the water and just get used to the temperature.</p>

<p>I would not rush into any decision at the moment. My suggestion would be to talk to your parents and others close to you before doing anything. I think it is very natural for a high school senior to be a little apprehensive about what the future holds. Change is something that everyone has to work through.</p>

<p>IMHO lots of students don’t know what they want to do which is why they go to college. In my experience, more college students change their majors than keep their majors. This is a clear sign to me that many college students haven’t figured out what they want to do when they grow up…not to mention the number of D1 athletes that will transfer because of playing time or other issues. Change is inevitable whatever you decide. This is a golden opportunity that very few get. I would think really hard about what is the root cause for these feelings before doing anything. If needed, I would seek outside counceling to help with the root cause.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>You sound like you really don’t want to go to the Ivy that offered the LL.</p>

<p>You sound like you don’t know if you want to go to college at all.</p>

<p>Two ways to handle this:

  1. Burn your bridges and tell the coach you aren’t going to apply and that you need a year off to pull yourself together. Don’t apply anywhere and take a year off with no direction in mind.
  2. Take a deep breath, apply and get accepted based on the LL, play for the coach, and try to hash out what you want to do with your life while in college.</p>

<p>I suggest #2, and what I think might help you is to go online and look at what courses you would take first semester. Most Ivies have a HECK of a lot of courses in MANY areas, and you might have a lot more opportunities to “figure yourself out” while IN college not OUT of it. Would going to college a year hurt you, if you ended up not liking it and dropping out? Maybe. I think choice #1 would definitely hurt you though.</p>

<p>The <em>only</em> other situation I can see is if you are someone who has a very specific dream that is not at all compatible with college. And even if you want to ride the dirt bike circuit or paint murals for a living, you can learn a lot in college.</p>

<p>What do your parents say? What do your friends say? What do you think about not playing your sport for a year?</p>

<p>I would hesitate to call the coach before you hashed out what you would do with a year off. There are postgrad years available at private schools where you would be guaranteed to play your sport and improve your marketability even more in terms of athletic recruiting (depending on your sport).</p>

<p>(This advice is coming from someone whose son has burned a few bridges in his life already, because he was standing up for what he truly believed at the time. In retrospect, some decisions are hard to defend knowing now what we did not know then.)</p>

<p>Thank you everyone for the advice! I think I WILL attend the school in the fall, as I know that I am prone to second guessing myself and am often indecisive. Thanks again!</p>

<p>Glad to hear it. I think that is the right answer. Best of luck.</p>

<p>"but that I genuinely do not know what I want to do with my life "</p>

<p>No high school senior knows what they really want to do with their life.
They might have an idea, but then get to college and change their mind…
If you told me you were 100% sure you knew what you wanted as a senior in high school,
I would think you were a bit immature. </p>

<p>So your feelings are normal…
You will work it all out in college.
Glad to hear you are going.</p>

<p>Charles</p>