<p>Ok, now I am really going to stress…I knew that there was going to be some bragging and stage parenting going on, but I was hoping it wouldn’t go as far as sabotage. I feel like we all need some sort of secret badge or handshake to identify us as “really nice cc parents here…please say hi”. Unfortunately I am not going to get a chance to meet any other parents in person until the winter auditions (except for the MTCA mock in December). Her Dad is going to take the November BW audition-and he will no doubt take his IPAD and go hide in a corner somewhere.</p>
<p>Thanks Monkey13 for the heads up. I felt like I entered another solar system when my son decided he wanted to pursue Musical Theatre. I’m a mental health professional, but honestly I could end up being that gullible parent because I wouldn’t know that there may be someone purposely trying to cause angst and turmoil. I feel that the cc’ers are a great bunch, and I have had only positive experiences on the forum. I better give my husband a briefing before he takes our son to Chicago…he’ll talk to anyone, lol!</p>
<p>LOL, frazzled, I didn’t say it to stress you out more! Sorry. You are forewarned. You’ll be fine. You don’t have to be paranoid, but just keep in the back of your mind that you have done your research and you probably know better. If you have a question, ask a door monitor. At every audition, whether on campus or at Unifieds, there are people there to help (usually current students or recent alum). If you aren’t sure about something, ask them…DON’T ask Jane Shmoe sitting next to you. Jane probably doesn’t have the right info either, and even if she does, she may not give you the correct info. </p>
<p>One of the most important things to have down is how many bars/seconds of each song type a school wants. If they say they want 16 bars of your uptempo and 8 bars of your ballad, that’s EXACTLY what you should give them. EVEN IF the kid coming out of the room before yours goes in says, “Oh, I sang 19 and they said it was fine!” No. It’s not fine. Some of the schools are really picky. If they say 45 seconds of a song, give them 45 seconds. Not 50. Not 60. Don’t let anyone else lull you into thinking it’s okay to bend the rules. Go with your gut, follow instructions to a T. </p>
<p>Also, bring all your application ID numbers, student ID numbers, student passwords, email addresses, etc. I had a different folder for each school, so at Unifieds, where my D did 5 auditions, I brought 5 folders. On the outside of each folder, I wrote the name of the school. On the inside flap, I stapled audition requirements. I also wrote all passwords, ID names, important numbers, etc. on the folder itself, so no errant paper would get lost. Maybe I was a bit neurotic, but it worked, and we were always prepared. That’s what you are there for. To tell your kid what floor, what room, what time, remind them of the requirements, hand over the proper HS and resume (remember, resumes change almost school to school…they all ask for slightly different things). Sometimes, if your kid is the first one to sing after dance call (happened to my daughter at 2 of the 5 Unifieds auditions…go figure), you have to help them change. In fact, for those parents saying they are going to stay in their hotel room or be a tourist, I wouldn’t have dared. There were too many times my D needed me, for getting off a stuck boot, finding her other pump which was “lost” in the dance bag, handing her the water bottle or a lozenge, helping her find a room in the maze of some of the buildings, etc. You are kind of like an administrative assistant/sherpa/nurse/caterer/dresser/cat herder. Once your kid is safely ensconced in that dance audition, tune out and just guard the stuff. ESPECIALLY THE BOOK. Imagine the panic we saw on one student’s face outside the CMU auditions (first day of auditions!) when his book, with all his sheet music and monologues for ALL of his auditions, disappeared b/c he had left it unattended while he went in for the dance call. Yup. It happens. Write your kid’s name and cell phone number in sharpie on the inside cover of that book, in case it is just misplaced and not stolen. </p>
<p>Just use common sense. You are in a big city (no matter which Unifieds you go to), with some desperate people. Or, to put a kinder spin on it, you are in a building with hundreds and hundreds of other kids and parents and all their stuff. I guarantee you someone else will have the same color 3-ring binder, the same dance skirt, the same audition dress, the same jazz shoes, the same iPod or iPhone or speaker system. Things get mixed up. You don’t want to lose anything important. YOU WILL BE FINE. Just be smart.</p>
<p>I appreciate the heads up also. I am very gullible usually believing the best in everyone. </p>
<p>We are also with MTCA but are not going to any mocks in New York (really would like to have one on the west coast) so we will not physically meet any one prior to Unifieds.</p>
<p>I agree with frazzled35, we need some way to identify each of us as one of the “nice” guys!</p>
<p>entertainersmom, if your husband likes to talk, tell him to talk about the weather, good restaurants, the Superbowl…just not about auditions or the kids and their resumes. I actually made some wonderful, wonderful friends at Unifieds and other auditions, but again…they were parents I knew vaguely beforehand through MTCA or camp. You’ll all be fine. I just didn’t want you thinking that everyone was in this together. Most of us were, but some of us were most definitely not. :/</p>
<p>LOL, someone should make little CC pins! Something subtle.</p>
<p>Thank you, monkey13, for sharing so honestly. At our first audition I was lucky to join a group of moms that took a campus tour together, and met a sweet and lovely person who became my friend - we shared all our ups and downs throughout the audition season. But - that said - I tend to keep to myself in the first place, and there is nothing like this audition circuit to make me want to do that. We didn’t experience any sabotage, but the bragging, excessive doting, and grandstanding can be out of control - kids sharing (loudly) in the room how many auditions they have been on, what the “feedback” they got was. Parents and kids alike asking (later in the season) others where they have been accepted. Kids warming up and practicing not in a way designed to help them be ready (as in privately) but done in a way designed to “psych out” others. I found it all rather nauseating, frankly. I would NEVER discuss those things with anyone in that room, no matter what. I tended to pretend I was reading or working, while listening in on all the insanity around me. I often texted the running commentary to a friend who will be doing this herself this year, and have told her I look forward to all of her stories in return! 
It helped save my sanity. My S didn’t spend as much time in waiting areas as I did, but he did tell me at one in particular (while I was in a parent session) he had headphones in but no music on and heard someone talking about him. 
I don’t mean to scare anyone, or make it sound awful…but be smart, humble, and low key and you’ll be fine. My S is exactly where he wanted to be, and we have many fond (and some hilarious) memories from the experience. Wouldn’t want to do it again, but am glad we did it.</p>
<p>And don’t let the horse know you are nervous! :)</p>
<p>Monkey13 and MTmama2013, thanks for the tips. I think it’s like that at all auditions, not just college. I’ve seen it ALL on the community theatre circuit. I just sit back and observe everyone else. It can be most entertaining! Well, now I’m back to feeling bad that I have to work at Unifieds. D has a tendency to leave things laying around and then come back to find that they’ve disappeared.</p>
<p>College auditions are probably the very last time a parent will ever be waiting around in the wings. May I suggest a brand new celebratory pair of ear phones, and a music track from whatever era that means something to you? A loaded Kindle since they pack easily and a seat in a coffee shop at least two blocks away though more is better? Don’t wait around for Monkey13’s second sentence in post #18 to be proven true. It will be but meanwhile why provide the audience? Walk away. Let your kid do their thing.</p>
<p>When my daughter did the BOCO dance audition (which is looong) I was utterly shocked at how many parents tried to WATCH the audition through the little windows in the doors to the room. If my daughter had seen my face in that window she would have absolutely killed me! She generally wanted me as far away as possible, and since I get way more nervous than she does, that probably was best. Whereas Monkey13’s daughter was happy to have her stay around in case a shoe or whatever got lost, my daughter did not really want me in the same country. However I didn’t let my cell phone out of my hand in case she needed me, and I didn’t go toooo far away; I could have gotten to her in 5 minutes always, though I was safely out of earshot. At NYC Unifieds we stayed in the New Yorker, directly across the street from the auditions, and though I took her to each audition, there came that moment when she said, “I’m ok now” - and I knew it was my cue to split. I went back to the hotel, drank coffee, watched the news, and tried to relax. She came back when she was done, and, yeah, DIDN’T always want to indulge me with every little detail that I of course was craving. You may want to even discuss all this with your child ahead of time; ask them if they prefer you to be near or far while they are auditioning and assure them you will NOT be hurt or insulted if they say far. My only other piece of advice is: even if you have a chatty child who wants to tell you EVERYTHING, make sure you are far away from the audition site before you start talking. Like - alone in your hotel room. My daughter and I had a rule that we didn’t talk at all about how it went until we were in the car or in our hotel room. You just never know who is nearby, and keeping a professional post-audition demeanor will keep you out of trouble.</p>
<p>LOL, Calliene, I was horrified by the same thing at BoCo! I saw parents trying to VIDEOTAPE their kids doing the dance audition through that little window. My D would have KILLED me. And Calliene’s advice about not talking about the audition (which means, parents, NOT asking how it went) is a great reminder. We had the same rule. Not until we were safely back in the apartment behind closed doors did we talk about it. You never know who will be in the elevator with you, walking down the street behind you, or sitting next to you at the restaurant.</p>
<p>Excellent advice-- Thank you!</p>
<p>I have a feeling my son will tell me to take a hike, too. I’m OK with that.</p>
<p>One anecdote from our experience. Before taking my D to her second audition last year (the first where I attended) I was lectured by her and her coach to keep my mouth shut. So I did. We had dinner with some of the students the night before, and I dutifully kept my mouth shut. The next day after her audition they had a lunch for auditionees and their parents with current students in the program, kind of question and answer thing. We sat with another girl and her mom and dad. I, dutifully, kept my mouth shut. The other parents however dominated the questioning and didn’t let their D ask much if anything. In the midst of this this poor girl leaned over to my D and whispered: I wish my parents were like your dad.</p>
<p>Moral of the story: It’s about your child and his/her audition, and not you. Just be supportive and otherwise stay out of the way.</p>
<p>Videotaping through the window?! Those parents are really going to have a tough time letting go.</p>
<p>Wow! Videotaping? Sadly, I can imagine parents doing this. Like I said, I’ve seen it ALL in community theatre. Moms with ears literally pressed to the door listening to everyone audition. I’m far too nervous at D’s auditions to do that. My stomach hurts the entire time! LOL. Those same parents are the ones that say when their child goes away to college, they will move to the college town. Talk about helicopter parents!</p>
<p>jeffandann, and others who have echoed this sentiment…AMEN! It has 0% to do with the parents and 100% to do with the kid who is auditioning. Some people, and not just the overt stage parents, but the well-meaning, but un-knowing helicopter parents as well, have a hard time parsing that out.</p>
<p>Nothing any nutty parent says or tries to do in the room outside the audition area, and nothing any catty high school kid tries to do to undermine the other kids is going to have one ounce of impact in the room when your kid is auditioning in front of people who are very experienced and skilled at what they are doing. If that type of behavior throws a kid off their game, then they need to get used to it. </p>
<p>In a room full of people who’s kids have ALL played Millie, Reno, Belle, Mrs. Lovett, Curly, Harold Hill, Phantom, Finch, yadda, yadda, yadda, you are bound to have people who think they are responsible for their kid’s success and they are going to brag and try to one up everyone in the room. It is just plain common sense to avoid conversations about the kids and their theater experiences. It is fun to sort of poke at these people for your own amusement, but that’s up to you.</p>
<p>If I attempted to video or even sneak a quick cellphone pic, my daughter would probably grab the thing and crush it once she found out. She does quite a bit of community theatre too, and we made an agreement several years ago that unless I was needed to sign a form, I dropped her off and waited elsewhere…as in not in the building. Now of course, since she is driving on her own-it is no longer an issue.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the input! Great conversation! I too wish Cam and Mitchell would show up with Lilly! We just watched the rerun of when Cam was in CATS and sat in the tree, in costume, to save it LOL!! Cam was my favorite but now Im leaning towards Lilly, she kills me with her one liners!
Mean people suck…thats all there is to it. I cant believe somebody would be desperate enough to sabotage, but I totally believe it. This weekend S had a show with the group of teenagers he performs with, they were at a church festival. There is another boy in the group (who thank goodness quit after this season nothing but drama) who is an OK dancer, ask him or his mother and they will say he is the reincarnation of Gene Kelly…rolls eyes. S and this kid discussed a number before hand and agreed to do a double turn. The other kid did a triple in an effort to show up my son
rolls eyes again. Hes had more than one firsthand experience with what I refer to as the diva factor. I will still have this conversation with him so hes prepared and aware.<br>
Ive mentioned to him Ive met some CC moms who will be at the same auditions and he said mom no offense but Im not going to be in the new friends making mood, these auditions will change the rest of my life. So I hope its OK if Im not a social butterfly. So
hell have game face on and headphones in. I’ll let him lead, keep my mouth shut and catch up on my reading!</p>
<p>Video tape? OMG My S would take the megabus to every audition after that if I tried such a thing.</p>
<p>I have seen the same thing with some parents in theater that I did coaching sports. Some parents were frustrated athletes when growing up, and when I coached I saw them try to live out their athletic dreams through their kids, telling the coaches what to do, cheering only their child and not the team, and so on. A small number of parents, but they definitely existed and they were a real pain to deal with. And their kids were many times embarrassed by their behavior. At a couple auditions last year, especially in the sessions where parents were meeting with school reps to discuss academics, etc, I saw the same type of parent, asking leading questions where they’d talk about how their S/D had been in a professional production and how would that affect their acceptance, etc, etc. Or making sure when we were sitting waiting during auditions about the roles their kids had played, and on and on. Very sad to watch, that someone may have such poor self esteem that they have to build theirs up through their child. </p>
<p>And not audition related but sabotage related. We found this out after the fact several months later, but during show choir competition last year one of the students on the crew for my D’s high school choir told us they had caught another school’s tech crew loosening the connectors for the risers our school used during the set, hoping they’d collapse during our kids’ performance. I used to play a lot of competitive sports through high school and college, but never saw anything close to that.</p>