<p>Music mom here. Subscribing to this thread. If my kid gets a Juilliard audition, I’ll meet you all in the Starbucks on Amsterdam Ave! It would be awesome to actually meet some of the moms and dads from CC.</p>
<p>Tried to reply earlier today, but it wouldn’t go through.:(</p>
<p>GSOMTMom, it is all very much like what you see in all ways at community or professional auditions…but I had been dropping my S at any auditions (or taking the train in and then finding the nearest Starbucks) for a few years now so perhaps I was “out of practice” at dealing with the insanity…but, i do also feel that it is somewhat exacerbated that instead of a role, their whole next four years are at stake. I, for one, do not envy my S dealing with that environment for the rest of his career…but he’s the one that has to do it, not me!</p>
<p>I did find that he wanted me to stay there, which worked for us…but as monkey 13 said, we didn’t talk until the car. He would come back and say “Ok let’s go” and then once we were in a safe and private environment he could tell me as much (or as little) as he chose.</p>
<p>The only time I voluntarily jumped into the fray was at one audition where I was sitting in a circle with a group of parents and one was going on and on about how absolutely awful she heard (not actually experienced) one particular school’s auditions were. We had just been there the day before, and while I realize everyone experiences audition day their own way, there was just no validity whatsoever to her “accusations” so I chimed in with our experience from the day prior. As it turns out, my son is at that very school now, so I am glad I defended their honor. :)</p>
<p>I do admit it was easy for me to feel intimidated by the braggarts (student and parent alike), and no matter what you can second guess and worry and feel intimidated by it all…or you can know that you have done the best you can to help your student, and know that they have done their best to prepare…and trust that in the end they end up where they belong. The waiting post-audition was stressful, but we definitely had more fun than stress on our audition trips…so enjoy! A year from now you’ll be sitting at your computer on a rainy Friday night, writing a CC post, and missing your busy MT student.</p>
<p>Loved your post ^ - both your experiences and your attitude…I swear I could have written it myself, I can SO relate! As for your comment: “He would come back and say “Ok let’s go” and then once we were in a safe and private environment he could tell me as much (or as little) as he chose.” That’s exactly how we did it with D last year. Her words were either “Okay, let’s go” or “Ready?”, both meaning let’s get out of here and maybe I’ll have something to say and maybe I won’t feel like talking just yet, but we also had agreed that nothing about the audition experience would be discussed until we were alone. Either way, it’s important to let the child decide whether to or what to share. AND, yes, not everyone has the same warm and fuzzy feelings about the same schools, or has a similar audition experience to your own, or perceives a school in the same way YOU do, so best to keep your own experience to yourself. Why upset someone else in the audition area who may just happen to LOVE that program! Happy to hear yours ended up in the right place for HIM! And our D is also thrilled with where she landed, so all’s well that ends well, and no dirty laundry was aired along the way! And you are right - here I am on a rainy Friday night, typing a CC post and missing my busy MT kid - but happy because SHE is happy!</p>
<p>I brought my laptop and a book; mostly, I did work and read either in a waiting area or in a coffee shop. Note: In some places I sat on the floor with other parents while waiting, so make sure to wear comfy clothes and if you don’t want to sit directly on the floor, bring a blanket or extra sweater.</p>
<p>I also talked with other parents, many of whom were lovely, cool and interesting. Parents who peered through the window or a crack in the door to catch a glimpse of their kids were not available to talk with me! </p>
<p>THe only thing I regret is that in several cases, we didn’t exchange contact info. At the end of the season, I found myself wondering who got in where, and wishing I could send them a note of congrats–in other words, I felt bonded and connected with most parents.</p>
<p>Momzie - fellow music mom here - the MT auditions make the conservatory and music school auditions look easy (even though they aren’t). For the instrumentalists - one stressful part is making sure the their instrument is in top playing condition at the time of the audition. It is probably analogous to all the ‘stuff’ the MY person needs at the audition.
I was so happy S2 applied to a strong music LAC and all he needed was a good recording. But even that was stressful because he had the recording equipment facing the wrong way during the first taping and then they were testing the fire alarms in the community music school where he did the second taping - it really was almost like the 3 auditions S1 took- always something going on! I wish everyone the best!</p>
<p>I recall a few moms trying to peek into the BoCo dance audition also, as well as moms listening at the doors during certain singing and acting auditions at Unifieds. I thought it was hilarious and chalked it up to stage-mom syndrome. While reading my iPad at Unifieds, I also heard a few moms gossiping negatively about some of the kids - behavior that was truly distasteful. I remember one group of women gossiping about a pretty blond girl in a pink dress, saying she made a big mistake, because she was trying to be Elle Woods, Legally Blond. Back in the room I told my son, and he told me this young woman was great! He thought she would get in to many of the big name schools. Here’s hoping the girl in the pink dress hits it big, and all parents should remember that your kid must just do his best. She / he can’t control how anyone else does. If she / he nails it, feel good about it, think about what to do for the next audition, and move forward, without regard to how anyone else is doing.</p>
<p>find out where the nearest legit massage studio is, and have yourself a well deserved treat.</p>
<p>After taking DS to 8 live auditions last year, I concur with all others…schlepper and sherpa. But add to that “whipping boy”. Their stress will manifest itself as parent targeted aggression. But the letters in March create the same amnesia that makes us try for another child after childbirth. The pain is forgotten. And yes take a good book or kindle. And while an iPad is great, most places don’t have free wifi to guests (aka sherpas, schleppers and whipping boys)</p>
<p>I am with NYsaxmom. Schlepper, sherpa, whipping boy and I’ll add cheerleader…basically I was my daughter’s “people”. Keeping your “head about you” while they are losing theirs is another job. My daughter is and was such a self sufficient, calm cool and collected kid. Not easily ruffled, always managed to keep her sense of humor. During auditions, that all changed. She got nerves, and wasn’t sure how to manage that. I helped with that by being the calming force. Unifieds were the worst for her so be glad you aren’t doing that. She was frustrated, frazzled and even cried once or twice from being overwhelmed. By her last audition she actually got slap-happy and silly while we were in chairs waiting for her to go in. She had just watched “Young Frankenstein” for the first time and she was singing that version of “Putting on the Ritz” under her breath. Doing that awful voice that the monster in that movie does. She had me in tears from laughing, and we were trying to control ourselves and stay quiet too. Which makes it worse. If anyone over heard that they’d have thought she was nuts and that we were mental thinking she could sing in front of judges. Actually, that audition ended up going better than just about any of them had. The silliness must have relaxed her. Hahaha. </p>
<p>So glad that’s all behind us. And yes, bring a book, and I recommend noise reducing earphones because otherwise the other parents might get under your skin. Or you will listen to some crazy gifted Diva-child rehearsing in the hallway and want to snatch up your kid and run from the place…or that could just be me. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>Oh my! I cannot believe people would try and peek at the BoCo dance audition. I waited in chairs with her before her auditions, but at Unifieds (Chicago) when it was her turn, I left. Moved away from the room so I couldn’t hear any of it. There are many lobbies and places to sit and hang out that aren’t anywhere near the audition. And about the comment of not discussing the audition, that is very good advice. We were in line at Starbucks at the end of the first day of Unifieds and we had the list they give you of all of the schools that are attending. She wanted to do a couple of walk ins if possible, so we were discussing the list. The guy in front of us overheard and asked to see the list. He chatted with us about the schools on the list and offered suggestions of places to try to walk in as they were good programs in his opinion. He was one of the program directors from Pace U. At the end of the conversation he said, “Definitely do some walk ins. That’s how I got in all those years ago”.</p>
<p>theatermom - your description of your D reminds me of my S and I think he’d have the same reaction at Unifieds. Even thought I am dreading the few 5 + hour drives in the middle of winter, I feel very fortunate to be able to make the trips to the schools.</p>
<p>I like to think of myself as being “appropriate wallpaper” I sit and wait in the background-available if needed. I did have myself prepared for the worst if she was in a foul mood. Like many have said let your D/S have the lead. I am usually the brunt of my D’s jitters - opening nights could be crazy in our house. On the upside just like some have said their usually calm kid changed their temperment. Mine who was usually nervous auditioning loved Unifieds and was calmer than she had ever been. The best thing I can say is be ready for anything-let them have the lead and read their mood before saying anything. It was so great getting to spend that time with my D - I know jeffandann has said it before but we had the best talks and time spent together during that time. Enjoy it because before you know it they will be where they are meant to be and busier than ever.</p>
<p>NYSaxMom wrote:
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<p>Hilarious! I am cracking up. It’s so true though!</p>
<p>theatermom2013…your story about the silly stuff conjured up a memory for me. I recall flying to Detroit for the UMich audition. My D had friends who were in the program at the time. They advised her that sometimes at the audition, the applicant was asked to tell a joke. So, on our flight, my D started preparing for the “what if they ask me to tell a joke.” Rather than telling an actual joke, she came up with some very funny true stories in her life and the way she was telling these, had us laughing the entire time (she happens to be good at comedy anyway). You know, in all these audition trips, good times happen with your kid too.</p>
<p>PS…by the way, she was NOT asked to tell a joke at the Michigan audition after all that!</p>
<p>As of just a few years ago, UMich was still asking for the joke. My D had not heard that they do this, but her mom is kind of witty, so she always has something in her back pocket. I’m just glad she had an appropriate one :)</p>
<p>Drop your kid off and go do something else until the audition is over…at this point there is nothing the parent can do to make the audition go any better.</p>
<p>I think this is one of the best threads I’ve ever read. Great advice from so many of you. I think the single most important role a parent can play is to help in anyway to keep your kid calm. Even if it means keeping quiet and taking one for the team as your kid releases some tension. I’m sure as a parent you are three times more excited or nervous than they are so you need to avoid transferring your emotions (no matter how well you think you are hiding them) to them.</p>
<p>Love the comment “no matter how well you think you are hiding them”. Let’s stop fooling ourselves, we’re not hiding a thing! I know my stomach is in knots whenever SHE auditions! HAAAA!!!</p>
<p>I discovered after the first day at Unifieds, that my D did not need me hanging about. I stayed in the room and “on call” in case she needed something. I was much happier and able to just be a cheerleader rather than be nervous and make my D even more nervous. I was also grateful that she was able to handle it on her own. One of those first letting go moments on the way to college. We found Unifieds to be a very interesting experience… not good, not bad, just interesting.</p>
<p>NYsaxmom, super-awesome analogy! How true. This year, in addition to my two in college now, I have another <em>two</em> kids applying for college, one for a BFA program, one for a transfer. This must be some sort of record, right? I have repressed all my memories of the agony and only remember the ecstasy. How else do we manage? </p>
<p>That said, my kids do not like to be hovered over. I’m an OCD sort of person, and my own intensity does not help their performance. So I stay out of it. I didn’t discuss their audition except as a mild, “How do you feel it went?” I also didn’t act as sherpa, etc. It’s not in my personality. They were responsible for everything, and if they forgot something, they forgot it. I’ve told a story of my oldest son going for an audition in NYC. It wasn’t until he got there that he realized he had forgotten his headshot and resume. I was all for cheerfully explaining it to the auditors, but he told me (probably rightly) that that would look really bad. So he came up with a solution–we had gotten there about a half hour early (thanks to my OCD) and he ran to the nearest Kinko’s. He’d remembered he had emailed his headshot/resume somewhere, so it was on his email. He then printed it out at Kinko’s. Of course, the headshot was just on regular paper, but colleges don’t mind that. It was a good lesson for him–after that, he made triple sure he had brought everything. :-)</p>
<p>Connections, the story about your son is a good reminder that everyone should have a copy of his or her resume and headshot available somewhere online in case of emergency. Monologues too.</p>