Yeah it's their money not their kids. You're still a pathetic parent if you put yourself over your children though. Did I say spend ALL your retirement money? No, so your post was meaningless to me. </p>
<p>When my kids are applying to college, I'm going to pay for all of their expenses and encourage them to attend the best school they possibly can disregarding the cost.</p>
<p>If you don't make enough money to send your kids to the best school they get into, in my point of view you failed as a parent to allow your children to reach their full potential. Empathy? Yeah, I recognize it sucks to have failed as a parent and you can't afford to send your kids to their dream schools.</p>
<p>Sorry if you suck as a parent, but I'll leave this topic now.</p>
<p>PS: my parents didn't save for retirement (I qualified for a lot of need-based aid for a reason... NEED), but of course I'll support them. Lol, you guys are ridiculous to conclude from a few posts that I'd be unwilling to support my parents.</p>
<p>You are so very young in your thought. But even my young children are smarter about life and financial realities than you. I suggest you print this thread, tuck it away and bring it out in about 20 years. I suspect you will be very,very embarassed.</p>
<p>"If you don't make enough money to send your kids to the best school they get into, in my point of view you failed as a parent to allow your children to reach their full potential."</p>
<p>Nice kid...calling your own parents failures. Darling, if you (well not you since you have your free ride) went into date $200K for your own college, very unlikely you would have the resources to pay back debt AND put away cash for your own children's education. I believe you have much anger and resentment toward's your family's financial status and only through the grace of God, and generous endowments for low income, have your college secure. I hope Duke truly educates you. Good luck, as you will need it.</p>
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"If you don't make enough money to send your kids to the best school they get into, in my point of view you failed as a parent to allow your children to reach their full potential."
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</p>
<p>Have you thought about who is paying for your education? Other people's parents (where do you think the $$ in Duke's endowment comes from). </p>
<p>You have adequately demonstrated that; one can be book smart but life stupid and just because one book smart does not mean that one has tack, class, manners, good breeding or is well attuned in some of the most simple social graces.</p>
<p>I would assume Duke has a character requirement no?</p>
<p>Remedial classes for character should be mandatory.</p>
<p>If one of my children EVER expressed or thought the above, I would be ashamed of how I raised them.</p>
<p>I know I have heard people state what this creature has expressed, funny they were always the ones that got the free education on the backs of others.</p>
<p>Interesting thread. I don't believe that parents "owe" their kids anything besides a loving, nurturing family life. I find it a bit appalling in some of these message boards that students have the attitude that it is their parents' responsibility to pay a fortune for school. On the other hand, a lot of top notch schools are giving significant aid to families with income even up to $200k.</p>
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<p>When my kids are applying to college, I'm going to pay for all of their expenses and encourage them to attend the best school they possibly can disregarding the cost.>></p>
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<p>I hope you are financially in the position to do so. BUT at the same time, I hope you teach your kids some humility.</p>
<p>
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If you don't make enough money to send your kids to the best school they get into, in my point of view you failed as a parent to allow your children to reach their full potential.
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Then I guess your parents are failures, since they can't afford to send you to Duke without a "full need-based ride."</p>
<p>Obviously these posts are all "meaningless" to you, since you are incapable of recognizing viewpoints or circumstances different than your own.</p>
<p>(Oh, and just so you know - I am sending my d to the college she wanted to go to, and paying for most of it so that she doesn't need to go into debt. And I am thankful every day that I am able to do so - not painlessly, but doing so nonetheless. But I do understand the situation of those who are not able to do so.)</p>
<p>My parents will help me with what they can, without ruining their own financial situation. However, they've let me know that this is MY education, and I should be in charge of it.</p>
<p>OP, you also might want to consider some of the jobs that parents who have "failed" have (i.e. don't make enough to pay for kids' dream schools). for instance, let's take civil servants (because i'm familiar with the situation) - teachers, firefighters, police officers, etc. Unless something drastically changed recently (and please, tell me if it has), these people get paid very little relative to the responsibilities they have and the services they provide to society and cannot pay 50k a year (equilivalent to their yearly salary) for their child's college. However, speaking from experience, my mom has most definitely not failed me - she teaches because she absolutely loves it, and i've learned more about loving what you do and about being passionate about your job from her than probably anything else, and i wouldn't give that up even for my dream school. if everyone were to take your advice about how to not "fail" as parents, who would have written your letters of rec for duke, or taught the advanced classes that prepared you for it? and would you really want to live without firefighters or police officers? . . . didn't think so.</p>
<p>I agree with other poster. You are being very honest. You would love to attend your dream school, but you also know that you can't do that to your parents (whom you obviously love). They have raised you well. You will succeed wherever you attend college and will do great in life.</p>
<p>You can't be for real. If you are this selfish now, I can only imagine what your children will experience when you have them. You are going to be exactly like the kind of parents that you are describing because you feel "entitled". You also sound very angry. Relax and don't worry about what other people are doing.</p>
<p>No, this has to be a joke. Every time she responds she says something stupid. I think she is sitting in her room rolling on the floor laughing her hind end off at how she is getting under everyone's skin.</p>
<p>As a Duke grad who went there on full aid and worked three jobs while I was there to get through, I find the attitude displayed in your posts to be appalling. If you are indeed "for real," and fortunate enough to go to Duke on a full scholarship, then be worthy of being a Duke student and drop the attitude. At the moment, you're an embarrassment to the school and to the members of the admissions committee who decided to give you a shot. Grow up.</p>
<p>Well, I guess randombetch is "right" today, and some one said after 20 years, many times it happens sooner that reality hits; i have heard children say the same "right" thing, and the parent (who said same thing in his / her childhood! most children don't say so!) starts saying what most parents are saying here...the truth is you get your coin back...</p>
<p>certainly these posts are meaningless to some one who sees these as patterns of alphabets. I was wondering if there was any way I could exclude my tax-dollars to be given as "free-rides" to such......
leave it at that.....</p>
<p>I think it should be rephrased. I agree with randombetch that yes, technically, most people should be ABLE to afford any school with loans and crap. However, I obviously disagree with random that even if people can, its just not worth it. Like, I COULD buy a new house for myself for a couple hundred dollars, but is it worth it? No, it would make much more sense for me to invest my money into something else and perhaps buy a small apartment instead.</p>