What do you think of my UC Personal Insight essay?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

I often wonder, along with the floating numbers, whether other people, too, wonder about numbers. Whether they, too, would create and solve their own versions of Sudoku in their heads. Whether they, too, would ponder about math problems while having conversations with people. This odd relationship my mind has with figures, I wonder if I’m the only one. Can you relate?

In middle school, I remember my pencil being dubbed ‘The Flash’ for always getting me to be the first one finishing Math worksheets. My classmates would persist in this pencil’s black magic that I started to believe it myself. However, today, I can confidently guarantee University of California that I have not taken any academic enrichment through any sort of wizardry. Moving on. In high school, my classmates and I have finally matured over the silly black magic rumors, though I still kept the pencil dear to me. All throughout high school and to this second, Mathematics has always been my dearest subject.

Not only does Mathematics help me train my problem-solving skills, but its history also inspires me every day. I have always been fascinated about how everything math-related is merely developed based on the origins of mathematical thought - number, magnitude, and form. How everything’s connected, every math rule supporting each other. Some may argue that most of the topics we learn in math class are going to be of no use in our futures, and I agree. But analyzing the thinking process of transpiring these mathematical findings could just be the most useful learning lessons for our future – and surely for my aspirations to become a successful businesswoman.

Furthering my interest, I took CTY’s and EPGY’s online AP programs as opportunities to enhance and advance my Mathematical knacks. By the end of my 9th Grade, I have completed those online AP courses as well as taken O Level Mathematics. Today, in 12th Grade, I am the only girl in a Further Mathematics class of five. This course’s challenges have given me more episodes of floating figures, and they have also deepened my love for Mathematics.

I have submitted this to my UC Application, but this is one that I rushed. What do you think?