<p>Good eye contact is a life skill that gets overlooked (no pun intended). So is writing thank you notes in a timely fashion!</p>
<p>How to open shoe polish, and how to apply it. How to find a shoe shine place in NYC, when the shoe polish task failed.</p>
<p>It is very funny that somebody mentioned “Buttons”.
They do not do buttons any more, they pitch the garment. Nobody, not a single member of my family can do buttons except for me and nobody does them. Show polish? Do they even know it exists? Even I did not use it for many years…, and yes, half of my family is in NYC, I do not think they ever visited shoe shine place or owned shoe polish in last 20 years. It is funny to read though…if I lived in NYC, I woudl not be able to do very many things, driving is one of them, I am not capable of teaching anybody who live in NYC any skills, it is a very different world, very different practically “foreign” life</p>
<p>Set AC thermostat 78 in summer, 68 in winter ( not the other way round)
Remove lint from the dryer</p>
<p>I attempted the memorize SSN and DL#, not sure if she ever did! If I (or she) missed any of the obvious, I haven’t heard about them yet - but to be sure, there are always new ones to learn!</p>
<p>Please tell me you’re joking about your family members throwing away clothes that lose a button! It takes maybe 60 seconds to sew one back on, and if the original is lost, many pieces now come with an extra button in a tiny bag attached to the inside of the garment. Or there is one sewn on the inside down at the bottom of the seam.</p>
<p>If any of my kids threw out clothes because of a lost button, it would not get replaced.</p>
<p>^Not joking, cannot wear without button, and if you live in NYC where space is very limited, you cannot keep things that are not in use, this is just simple fact of life in places like this. If they rmember bring it with them when they visit us, then garment is saved, if not, forget it. They also tend to “share” many kids clothes, I mean “hand me downs” and shop at “hand me down” stores, whatever the name…
I have no problem fixing my clothes and everybody else’s if they remember bringing them to my place. I am not talking strictly “buttons”. I will fix everything, just fixed my D’s “maid of honor” dress without even having a sawing machine, I was very proud to make a huge difference in her appearance, and it took few minutes, correct.
But most are not up to it any more and to expect them to be might be way too high of expectations.</p>
<p>When I first moved into an off-campus apartment it didn’t come with a microwave and neither I nor my roommate had one of our own. On the first morning after roommate moved in I walked out into the kitchen to get breakfast, and she was sitting at the table with a very “soupy” bowl of oatmeal. Apparently, she had mixed the instant oatmeal with water in a bowl before she realized there was no microwave to put it in and didn’t know that oatmeal could be made by boiling water on the stove top.</p>
<p>I had a boyfriend in college who called to ask me prior to a date if he could use hand lotion in place of shoe polish. No joke.</p>
<p>A friend of mine has used aa interesting technique to teach his kids life skills when they are 17.</p>
<p>Drives them to a different suburb (we live in the suburb of a very large city) and drops them off with $20. Tells them to figure out a way to get home.</p>
<p>He hasn’t lost one yet. But he has produced lots of interesting stories.</p>
<p>FYI. He knows there are trains and buses available to them and they have a cell phone in case of real emergency.</p>
<p>The problem with important life skills is that you have no idea what they don’t know and what situations they may encounter. You just can’t imagine everything. </p>
<p>A friend of mine had child traveling in Europe. He was in his early 20’s during a summer off from an Ivy League school. He was travelling by train between cities with a friend. This was in the days before cell phones overseas. His friend got off at a stop for a snack and before he could get back on, the train started to move. Son panicked because he had no idea how he’d find his friend again so he got up and jumped off. My friend received a call from the American embassy saying they had found him by the side of a railroad track. He was okay but shaken and slightly injured.</p>
<p>Friend said to me “It never ocurred to me to tell him never to jump off a moving train.”</p>
<p>Few years back we had a discussion with our kids when we were taking a subway in NYC. We told them that if we got separated, they should get off at the next stop and wait for us.</p>
<p>Knowing how to do tasks is great, but how about ensuring students know how to have a basic conversation IN PERSON with another? I cant tell you how many times I have seen one 17 year old try to do this with another and despite asking friendly, open ended questions, the other person simply says, yes, no, shrug with absolutely no social sense of how to continue or enhance the conversation. No elaboration. No reciprocating by asking the other a question, etc. </p>
<p>Has all the texting (and online communication) caused this lack or is this something parents need to teach? </p>
<p>How did YOUR kids learn social skills?</p>
<p>I’ve yet to see an apartment as small as my brother’s first studio-where you could stand in the center and touch both walls. Even it had storage space and a shirt or two don’t take up much any way. The idea that it’s more sensible to THROW AWAY something that a few stiches would fix is just…astonishing. Mind-boggling. </p>
<p>I guess if someone is raised to think there’s always more where it came from and so what if we’re running out of garbage space, it would be hard to convince them that it’s more prudent to get clothes fixed than to throw them out. I wonder too, how many other areas kids like that treat as disposable-do they throw out EVERYTHING that needs a minor repair?</p>
<p>My mother and her parents grew up in NYC and they had plenty money enough to throw out ripped shirts and hire out all daily tasks-yet she and my grandmother taught me most of the life skills like cooking, sewing and housekeeping. Boy, am I glad they did!</p>
<p>
By sheer luck, the first time I had to take a bus the stops I used only had one side of the street – they had to route the bus funny so it could use just the side where the stops were. Get off in the morning and come back in the afternoon to the exact same spot. After about two weeks of taking the bus I realized that there were, indeed, two bus stops at every intersection. “Oh!” Lol! My parents warned me about taking “loop” buses in the wrong direction but I think this must have slipped their mind…</p>
<p>For me repairing/replacing is about what is most cost effective.</p>
<p>I have a tendency to buy used or scratch and dent electronics. But when you only pay $100-200 for a TV, it becomes disposable because it’s frankly not worth the $75+ to take it somewhere to get repaired + the time and effort it requires. </p>
<p>I did just take a lawnmower to get repaired since it was only a year old and feared the bill, but when I was only charged $15, thought I’d made a pretty good decision.</p>
<p>Personally I know how to sew on a button, as does my son since I’ve made him do it, but for those that don’t know, the cost of taking it to a seamstress/tailor might outweigh the cost of just buying a new shirt.</p>
<p>As for ‘skills’ I made sure my son has, back when he was 16, maybe even 15, I told his dad to take him to a drug store where they kept the condoms behind the counter and make our son ask for and buy condoms. I said the last thing I wanted was for him to be in a situation where he needed to do that and was too embarassed to go through with it.</p>
<p>I dispose my clothes when they go out of style, even if there is nothing wrong with them. I am not going to wear striped bell bottoms or a jacket with big shoulder pads. </p>
<p>
We took our kids with us almost every where when they were young (3+). It included many sit down dinners with other grown ups. When we entertained at home, they were also required to stay around to socialize. If it was an adult only affair and they were home, they still had to make an appearance. Growing up, our kids were around adults a lot. They learned what to wear for different occasions and how to carry on conversation with people. I can remember few occasions when I have given them the look - “we are going to have to talk about this when we get home.”</p>
<p>oldfort, yes, all that you did and fostered sounds great, but having a conversation with another ADULT who does know how to “feign interest” (even if not interested), knows how to ask your kids questions about themselves, or elaborate about their own lives, is a FAR CRY from being able to successfully interact with peers. I know a student who was also around adults a lot and can have very mature conversations (which adults often comment on “how pleasant it was to talk to this young man”) but unfortunately, this ability does not always translate to peers that are much more immature or have no skills to carry on a conversation - which must be two-sided. </p>
<p>Do your own kids find others their age “less communicative”?- again, if meeting face to face - not via a device. </p>
<p>I have visited several campuses and see kids with headphones (ipods, etc), cell phones to their ears, and so on, but how often do they shut EVERYTHING OFF and just walk/talk with another student the way we did years ago?</p>
<p>hsmom2013 - no, our kids had (has) very active social life. They do text quite a bit with their friends, not so much on the phone. I see D2 skyping her friends when she wants to talk to them (we lived overseas for some time). Both girls get together with their friends face to face. D2 a first year in college, while on the phone with me, she would often tell me so and so is coming over, or someone just stopped by.</p>
<p>How and when to shake hands.</p>
<p>How to address, verabally and in emails, teachers & staff at college (Professor Doe , Dean Doe, Dr. Doe, if known to have a doctorate) and public officials too.</p>
<p>Importance of thank you notes and emails.</p>