What essential "Life Skill" did you neglect to teach your child before college?

<p>There’s a great way to teach kids how to take pills. You get a bunch of mini M&Ms and make it fun to learn with them! We did this when our S was about 12 because he needed a pill for which there is no liquid or chewable form. Worked like a charm!</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I’m with oldfort. And honestly, I know how to sew on a button, but it’s not worth my time. As it so happens, I lost a decorative button off a sweater a few days ago (I still have the button) and I just took it to the drycleaner, asked them to sew it on, and reinforce the other buttons while they were at it. I think it was $8, but I wouldn’t swear to it. I wouldn’t throw clothing out, necessarily, but I don’t think I HAVE to do repairs myself.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I’m an introvert by nature and while I was social in college, I enjoyed being able to walk to class by myself, set my own schedule, etc. I doubt it’s changed - the difference is that introverts like me now have iPods to listen to whereas before we didn’t. And the extroverts who like chatting with people can still do so.</p>

<p>I wish I had taught my sons to sometimes put themselves and their own needs first…not to be selfish people, but to realize that their own needs were also valid. That sometimes they needed to be the ones to choose where certain boundaries were going to be established. And to do it in an appropriate fashion.</p>

<p>This is a lesson that all three of them eventually learned…but sometimes there were some rough situations.</p>

<p>A senior psychology major that I know is doing a study on how much time various groups spend alone, in groups and using technology. her initial numbers show that those involved in student government and greek organizations spend the most time talking to people face-to-face and participating in activities that do not require technology. Athletes were a close second. Among majors on her campus the business majors spent the least amount of time alone and the hard sciences spent the most. Her findings will not be complete for a while, but it confirmed to me that extroverts are more likely to flock to other extroverts.</p>

<p>I’m an introvert with an extrovert husband!</p>

<p>Regarding gift-giving when visiting relatives/friends…depends. </p>

<p>In my extended family, some older relations would actually take it as an affront to their hospitality if you brought a gift on a visit…especially if you’re younger siblings or worse, from the younger generation. Their expectations are that you just bring yourself and enjoy their hospitality. </p>

<p>For friends, all of the ones I’ve had…especially close male buddies tended to be like me. If you brought a gift, it’s nice and appreciated, but we’d also feel that it’s not necessary and wouldn’t want the visiting friend to feel obligated to bring anything. In our view, the main point is friendly company…not enacting a mini-version of mainstream Christmas*. </p>

<ul>
<li>Granted, I’d probably need a crash course in Christmas gift-giving for adult members of future in-laws as in my extended family…gift-giving is from the adults of the older generation to kids of the younger generation up until the age of 18 or high school graduation…whichever came first. That last bit got me as I graduated HS at 17.<br></li>
</ul>

<p>

</p>

<p>You actually sound like two aunts who made it a point to have me join their neighbors, work colleagues, and business associates for dinner and meetings. </p>

<p>While it felt stiff at times, loved the conversations and interaction. From my memories and their recollections…seems like I somehow charmed them into believing I was far more mature than I was in reality.* </p>

<p>It has also allowed me to maintain friendships and conversations with friends and acquaintances ranging in age from 4 - 88 without issues. :)</p>

<ul>
<li>If only they knew how much of a hyperactive terror I was as a 4-5 year old and as a rebellious adolescent at 13-15.</li>
</ul>

<p>

</p>

<p>I’m an extrovert whose dating patterns tend to fall into dating introverts…especially those who are STEM/public policy graduates.</p>

<p>SHAKING HANDS, oh my goodness that is an excellent one.</p>

<p>I am 20, a 3rd year in college, and I have had so many limp, pathetic hands “offered” to me by fellow students. The hand just sort of softly sits in yours for a second like a little fish…ugh, I hate it!</p>

<p>My dad taught me how to shake hands when a very well-respected visitor was going to be at his place of work and I was invited along. He taught me the importance of a firm handshake. That’s why it’s called a handSHAKE, there should be some movement involved!</p>

<p>It always makes me so uncomfortable when I start to do a firm shake and some girl’s dainty little princess hand is just lying in mine like some 18th century invalid…</p>

<p>/endrant.</p>

<p>Sewing buttons … I’m competent at it, but there’s not a lot of spare time in my life and higher priority chores clamor for attention. When I lose a button from a hidden spot (e.g. waist of pants or skirt) I tend to replace it with a safety pin. Shirts or jackets lacking a button sit around waiting for my attention until, usually, they get old and I decide to include them in the next give-away collection. If it’s a garment I love I may make the effort to replace the button.</p>

<p>If I had more spare time, not only would my buttons be replaced but I’d cook a nice dinner from scratch almost every night, my floors would be vacuumed, bathrooms spotless, dogs brushed daily, etc. As it is, almost all my energy goes into supporting my family by holding down a demanding job in today’s fast paced and ruthless business environment. I’m not superwoman, regretfully. Yes, I’m posting here when I could be sewing buttons, but this is more relaxing.</p>

<p>Do your kids know their medical history, and that of the family? It’s all in son’s “baby book”, but he wasn’t interested in it as teen. As a physician I tried to be sure he knew basics- he filled out the university health service forms. Allergies, immunizations, medicines, operations (if a kid was 1 s/he wouldn’t remember any procedures), health of siblings, parents, aunts uncle, grandparents- what they had/died of. Knowing there is heart disease, etc in the family may make a difference. Teens should be filling out all forms with help, not having parents take care of everything.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl- how about the opposite couple, my case? There’s a book about various introvert/extrovert combinations. You learn how to deal with each other’s different needs, and no couple is welded at the hip forced to do everything together!</p>

<p>No matter how much we try to teach/prepare our kids they have to be receptive to the skills/information. I know of many things son only wanted to hear about years after he left the nest. If we weren’t so glad they’re finally willing to listen we might tell them they were told but just didn’t listen etc. Amazing how smart we become as they progress in their twenties…</p>

<p>S2 learned first aid and CPR when he was a summer camp counselor in HS. Good thing – he has had to perform CPR.</p>

<p>Wish we had done more on finances in HS, but both kids have asked us to teach them since. Once it became relevant to them they were ready to hear it. Frankly, in HS they did not spend a lot of $$ anyway, so it would have all been highly theoretical.</p>

<p>Wish I had taught more study skills instead of letting them figure out what worked for them. Once college level work gets tough, it can be hard to change one’s ways, esp. if there are LDs involved.</p>

<p>More flexible thinking and responses to various situations – academic, social, etc. </p>

<p>To take chances and make mistakes – despite what their father thinks. (And that I had the strength to tell DH to pull back and let those things happen.)</p>

<p>CountingDown: what is an “LD”?</p>

<p>“my floors would be vacuumed, bathrooms spotless,”
-I do not even care if I have time or not, but since I absolutely refuse to live in messy house, I have had cleanning lady as far back as I can remember I told my D. that it should be her priority when she earns enough. I love my current one, if we ever meet (she comes when nobody is at home) we always have a nice chat. She is really good and very reasonable. Coming home to a clean house is very rewarding.
I do like to fix clothes and I even like doing laundry, folding, it is relaxing to me, I just hate going shopping, I feel like I am at the wrong place.
Anyway, sometime we teach others what we prefer doing ourselves. But these little tasks are not life saving skills, so they are not essential to teach. From my hindsite, as long as they know when it is crucial to visit this emergency room and not wait another second, they are prepared to be on their own…yes, and do not forget this AAA card, another very essential life saving thing.</p>

<p>I’ll neglect to my child…talking in a nonpolite way…</p>

<p>3bm103–you have a good point. “Teaching” your kids all of these things is all well and good, however, there is a lot to be learned from learning to do this on your own. The best life skill you can “teach” your child is to be independent and to think through problems, which means, DON’T teach them everything, don’t do everything for them because it’s easier, let them make mistakes, etc.</p>

<p>great book to send them off to college with</p>

<p>[Amazon.com:</a> where’s mom when i need her: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_13?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=where’s+mom+when+i+need+her&sprefix=where’s+mom+w%2Cstripbooks%2C224]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_13?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=where’s+mom+when+i+need+her&sprefix=where’s+mom+w%2Cstripbooks%2C224)</p>

<p>Thankfully both my boys took quilting as their studio art in elementary school and are perfectly capable of sewing on buttons. They took little sewing repair kits with them to college.</p>

<p>Good point about looking people in the eye. </p>

<p>I think people should know how to clean so they know what to look for in a cleaning service and know just what hard work it is. And in most colleges you are going to have to vacuum your own room, even if you aren’t doing the toilets :)</p>

<p>LD=Learning disability</p>

<p>

On the flip side, they need to know that shaking hands isn’t a contest, and a “crusher” grip isn’t needed–and to be especially carefully not to grip too hard when skaking hands with an elderly person.</p>

<p>This is going to sound sad, but I did not know how to properly work the blinds (pulling the cords) until a couple months ago. I only learned how to grill and put gas in my car a few days ago.</p>

<p>^And you will have to learn how to put gas in your car with every new car you purchase, sorry to dissapoint. One time I drove out without filling it, could not find th button to push to open the gas thing, I thought that searching for over 15 min. or so was enough. There are NO standards in Auto industry. The worst thing, that even when I know where, I do not remember next time I have to do it. If I am lucky, I remember to check BEFORE i drive to gas station. Well, human brain is capable to make a rocket science out of the smallest tasks, this is our nature…</p>