<p>Reading this thread has me CRYING with laughter. A couple stories come to mind:
1 - when my brother (then 9 years old) was asked to serve appetizers at home to my Dad’s boss the president of Union Oil company. He very politely brought the tray to him and said “Would you like your 7th appetizer, Mr. Hartley?”
2 - all the stupid and ugly dresses I made every summer because my Mom insisted that all the girls knew how to sew. Not sure whether i ever wore any of them, but my sister made a ton of money at Stanford hemming the pants of everyone in the dorm (and she was the worst sewer!) I have never made a dress again, but those skills come in very handy when making a puppet or (more recently) a mermaid costume - easier than you would think since the material was stretchy, and there was easy tutorial on youtube! Never underestimate the power of a straight seam.<br>
3 - Regarding your shoe polish…last year, my then high school senior and I ate at a casual restaurant across the street from the infamous South Coast Plaza, keeper of all things extravagant. Close to us at the next small table was seated a 30 something woman, all in extremely elegant black, and her parents. Her purse alone (according to my DD, who knows such things), was a $1000 designer bag. The most incredible thing happened. My sandwich needed mayo, so I opened one of those foil mayo packets. It…exploded. All. over. the. woman’s clothes and bag. I screamed, and there was a silence while I attempted to wipe the smear of mayo off her purse, and she chose her murder instrument. And then, I heard the blessed voice of her father, a man with a heavy foreign accent. He said “You know, I have been in the leather business my whole life. Did you know that mayonaise is very good for leather?” His daughter neither looked at me, nor said a word. I have never seen such graciousness in all my life. And THAT is what I want to teach my children.</p>
<p>hsmom2013, LD typically means learning disability. And, study skills and drive are particularly important for kids with LDs, though the latter is harder to teach.</p>
<p>^^^ and whether or not the schools accommodate the kids, the kids themselves have to learn what works for them – for reminders to do things, for example – it may be sticky notes on the mirror, a planner, Gmail calendar, alarms on the cell phone, etc.</p>
<p>One of my kids was repeatedly told that because he qualified for extremely advanced programs, he didn’t need formal accommodations. Up until HS, he had informal accommodations by teachers who recognized the asynchrony. The reality was that <em>I</em> was the special ed teacher for getting him through those programs as far as coaching, tutoring, etc. For this particular child, college has been much tougher than he expected. What worked in HS for him does not work as well in college, and keeping his head above water has sucked some of the drive out of him.</p>
<p>As my son (now a college sophomore) was rounding the bend as a senior, I had some anxiety about whether I’d taught him the right things to manage at college. But I think it’s we parents who worry about that ahead of time…kids often don’t think about what they don’t know until they’re smack dab in the middle of a dilemma. Personally, I think college is a great place to learn that which you don’t know. </p>
<p>I always loved that song: Life’s a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don’t worry about what you don’t know. Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.</p>
<p>I think my son was kind of impressed with himself for learning a few things like ironing his own shirt. Most kids look at it as an adventure, and aren’t judging us parents for not covering every single base.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if this has been mentioned… but how to use a drill, a screw driver, basic household tools. They may not need a drill in college but chances are they will need one out of college. I had to help a friend once who didn’t know how to hang pictures on the walls… and i recently had to explain to someone that when you are drilling a hole where you are going to be putting in a screw that you need to make the hole smaller then the screw or it wont latch and you’ll just have big holes everywhere.</p>
<p>also, how to follow the directions when putting together furniture out of a box. Do not throw them out and try to eyeball it. You almost always have incorrect pieces left over or wind up taking it apart and putting it back together again.</p>
<p>This is what I didn’t know when I went to college: clean out the lint from the clothes dryer’s filter.
At first, when I used the washer/ dryer at the laundry mat, no problem. Then I moved into an apartment and bought my own washer/ dryer. I went for months without cleaning the lint until the dryer stopped drying my clothes. I called in a repairman, the guy spent a fair amount of time not finding out what was wrong until he opened up the filter. It was jammed pack! I think it cost ~$50 for that service call and un-measureable amount of embarrassment.</p>
<p>Shoot4moom - that is a great story! I love it!</p>
<p>This really has me thinking that I need to make a list for my D. I know the laundry skills are not great because I happen to be a control freak with the laundry. Better get on that!</p>
<ul>
<li>How to snake a toilet</li>
<li>How to mount a picture on the wall</li>
<li>How to use a gas grill and a charcoal one</li>
<li>How to sew a button and change a tire</li>
<li>How to open a bank account and write a check</li>
<li>Make a xerox copy of all your credit cards and license and keep in a safe place</li>
<li>Keep a $20 hidden in your wallet for mad money.
*Rubber-band around your wallet and keep it in front pocket when on mass transit or in urban areas to thwart pickpockets</li>
<li>How to check a fuse-box or reset a GFI</li>
<li>How to make smalltalk and when to avoid topics of politics/religion.</li>
<li>Where to meet in case of a fire. Since our kids were very young, we stressed,
“meet at the mailbox” in case of a fire. It’s 80 feet from the house and in a safe zone in case we got separated. There is nothing more fearful than the potential of running back into a burning house to try to rescue someone already in a safe zone.</li>
<li>Where to meet if world fell apart and everything hit the fan. Before you think I’m neurotic, let me explain. I grew up and was friends with several families who were Holocaust survivors who never knew whether their relatives survived or perished. If only they had had a centralized meeting place to go to on a certain day every year, if separated. We were traveling as a family one summer and came across this isolated diner in the middle of nowhere and I said and have repeated that that was the spot to meet on July 4th if we ever got separated in the event of a national disaster…Ounce of prevention…My kids think I’m nuts but I tell them, “that’s my job, I’m a parent of teens.”</li>
</ul>
<p>^ My husband’s family also had a meeting place after WWII - a small village in Czechoslovakia (they were Polish). The parents and the youngest sister made it there and waited. One day a handsome young American soldier wandered in and came up and gave mom a hug. It was oldest son who had been smuggled out of Poland before the war and made it to America. He came back for his family! I love that story. </p>
<p>After 9/11, we made all sorts of emergency plans with our kids - what to do if phones go out, where to meet, who to contact to relay messages. My son calls it our zombie apocolypse plan. Btw - tell your kids to ALWAYS call mom in case of lock-downs on campus or any natural disaster in town. We worry!</p>
<p>I totally agree with the keeping in touch thing. My son just started his freshman year at MIT and it takes me leaving messages on his cell phone, email, and of all things his facebook page for him to contact us. He finally sent me an email. With instructions on what he wants me to pack for his DAD to bring him next month during Family Weekend. The thing is this kid grew up in FL, saw snow 1 time when he was 3, and he picks a school where he’ll be up to his you know what in snow this year. Can’t wait for those phone calls and emails!</p>
<p>I also realized that my son did not know how to pack a suitcase and liked to wait til the last minute to get everything together. Im sure I pull a couple of handfulls of hair out of my head getting him ready to go. Then on a Sunday morning, while sound asleep, my phone rings, 3 am, “where’d you pack my laundry soap?” Please make sure they have a detailed map of where everything is if you pack for them and save yourself a heart attack.</p>
<p>mjoebg–seriously, a “detailed map” :D. My answer would have been “you called me at 3 am for THIS–FIND IT YOURSELF”. This goes back to my post a few pages ago about doing too much for your kids…</p>
<p>I learned a lesson about packing “for” my child when he was 11 and went to Norway for a month. I put his underwear in a sidepocket of his duffel bag. When he came home, yep, it was still there. I just don’t want to know… From then on, he packs for himself. I’ve learned that he’s a minimalist. Fine with me. I’m sure he’ll be able to survive in college just fine with one suitcase and a toothbrush.</p>
<p>Okay. DH asked DS to swing by our local little post office to drop off some outgoing mail. Knowing it was close to closing time, he told him just to put it in the mailbox outside the front door. You know–a regular, blue mailbox. DS just called. He didn’t know how to get the mail in the mailbox. <sigh></sigh></p>
<p>LOL, Did you ask him if he noticed and wondered why there was a blue handle welded to the top of the box. Or was it one of those drive-up ones with the slot in which case, you have a lot of SAT studying to do with this one. :)</p>
<p>One skill that my son learned on his own was how to pick good roommates. The four of them have complementary skills. I am not sure of my son’s contributions (maybe social planning?) but roommate A is the best cook and the most compulsive cleaner. Maybe a fellow CCer trained him. </p>
<p>Shoot4moon, I too hope that my son has/will learn graciousness. The ability to make others feel good about themselves is invaluable.</p>
<p>Good grief! Apparently I did not teach my son that you need to tip the person who cuts your hair when you have it cut at Wal-Mart. He thought that salon rules did not apply at Wal-Mart. I told him tips are even more important there. I swear, that kid is reading Nickled and Dimed when he is home for Christmas. :o</p>
<p>MidwestMom2Kids_, that was good book. My son recently took a cab from school to the airport and I texted him how much to give so he would know.</p>
<p>DS texted last week that he needed stamps and wondered if I could mail him some. I told him to go to his bookstore. He said he had looked on the racks and didn’t see any. He was amazed to learn that if he asked, they probably had them behind the counter. Wonders never cease.</p>
<p>MizzBee…got a similar call from my S. Could I send him some stamps?.</p>
<p>Ummmm…where he picks up his mail is a US Post Office substation–I bet they have stamps there, was my comment. Further, I reminded him I had sent some with him
when he returned to college…</p>
<p>“But Mom, I used those for all the thank you notes you told me to write…”</p>
<p>Always the Eddie Haskell…</p>