You are NOT considered an adult for federal financial aid purposes until you are age 24, have a child, marry, or serve in the military.Apparently it is 22 for state purposes.
It is assumed that under normal situations, parents contribute at least something for their children’s education, and financial aid is based on the parent’s income and assets. NYS grants are for state residents only. Your parents’ SS numbers provide proof that they (and therefore you, as their dependent for financial aid purposes) are actually state residents.
If you want their money, then you must abide by their rules. Your parents are the bad guys here, not the issuers of the grants.
Perhaps one of your parents would speak with and listen to the financial aid person at your school? They can assure your parent that the number is kept confidentially and not used for any purpose other than establishing qualification for aid.
If not, you will have to work until you are age 22/24 and then start school as an independent student. That way you could save money to help pay tuition, as well as qualify for aid.