<p>You are going to chase Dad II away with all of those questions.</p>
<p>I guess we can only answer questions, not ask. I forgot.</p>
<p>JYM626, I will be more than glad to answer any of your none-personal questions. </p>
<p>T1, soon we will have two kids in colleges. I just want to have a sense about what do people think as a really good college student. If someone else asks me " how is DS doing?" other than “doing fine” I would like to add a few more details. </p>
<p>From this thread, I learnt that not more people care about GPA. In other words, I would talk about “RENT” at school etc.</p>
<p>What college your kids apply to is THE MAJOR TOPIC OF CC dadII. Why is that too personal a question for you?</p>
<p>yes, it is too me. Because I have disclosed so much personal information on this board. It is very easy for anyone at particular school to ID my DS.</p>
<p>Besides, why should where DS applied matter to anyone else? No one else is asking the same questions as U do.</p>
<p>It is no easier to identify you or your kids than any of the rest of us. Posters share where they live, where their kids attend school, what cars they drive (many many shared that with you). This forum is about sharing information, not about stalking students. You worry way too much.</p>
<p>Hopefully what you have learned here is that parents DON"T contact their students professors or advisors at college. It is time to stay out of their business, just as you imply that you want posters here to stay out of yours. But just as you dont intend to intrude, but at likely merely interested in your kids progress at college, so too, here people arent intruding, they are interested. Perhaps it is easier to understand from that perspective.</p>
<p>*** Actually dadII you could be a great help. My DH unfortunately totalled his car in Dec (he is fine, thank heavens) but he is in the market for a new car. What deal did you find? What car did you end up getting? If you dont want to post it here, feel free to PM me. It would be very helpful.</p>
<p>
Firstly, I’d likely just answer ‘fine’ and possibly relate a few particulars if I felt like it - such as, she has a cool job on-campus, she’s interested in this one course, she finds this one prof interesting, she had fun at the football game last week, she joined a particular club, etc. I’d never respond by saying “she has a n.nn GPA”.</p>
<p>just want to have a sense about what do people think as a really good college student. If someone else asks me " how is DS doing?" other than “doing fine” I would like to add a few more details. "</p>
<p>When they ask you this, Dad II, they are asking a social question. Is she happy? Has she found a nice group of friends? Is she participating in activities that please her? No one is asking her GPA. That would be gauche and tacky for them to inquire, and tacky for the parent to offer. </p>
<p>Can’t you just enjoy and be proud of your D without having to link it to academic achievement?</p>
<p>^^Yes, pizzagirl is spot on. People are asking a social question. Does she like the school, does she miss you guys, is she happy, is she thriving. For my Son my pat answer is “he’s doing great, loves the school and is doing well. We couldn’t be more pleased.” People can interpret that anyway they want. BTW, I’m not quite sure what my son’s GPA is. I never asked after freshman year when his scholarship was important and freshman year is a big transition so we wanted to keep tabs on him. He gets a mix of As and Bs now and I think that is “fine” so we don’t generally ask except in very general terms. He doesn’t have to petition to stay in his major so that’s good enough I guess.</p>
<p>When I’m asked about how my daughter is doing in college, I have only one reply “we hope she will be graduating in June 2010. Keep your fingers crossed that this happens.” Then <em>I</em> start a conversation about where I’m going to spend my windfall of money post tuition bills!!! Most people love to hear about my plans for new kitchen counters and sanding of my wood floors. NO ONE would be much interested in my kid’s GPA. Occasionally someone asks about her major…but that’s about it.</p>
<p>Good points, everyone. Most people ask how someone’s family is doing, in general terms. I’ve never had anyone ask, when the kids were in HS or college, a question that would remotely consider responding with their GPA, or what their grades were. Even if a person could brag about their kids grades, they shouldn’t.</p>
<p>“If someone else asks me " how is DS doing?” other than “doing fine” I would like to add a few more details. </p>
<p>From this thread, I learnt that not more people care about GPA."</p>
<p>I tend to reply by what S’s major is and how much he’s enjoying his courses and ECs related to it. I also may mention how much he has found himself in college. S used to be very shy, but has blossomed in college. </p>
<p>I actually am an odd one out here because I do mention his gpa, which is nice (not sky high, but nice) because many of the people who ask are friends who know how in h.s. S was an underperformer who almost didn’t graduate.</p>
<p>If S always had had an excellent GPA, I probably wouldn’t mention it now because that would seem more like bragging. I know that I was happy to hear about gpas of my friends’ kids who were late bloomers, so I figure my friends feel the same way about my late blooming kid.</p>
<p>
Nowhere. It is no longer appropriate for you to do so.</p>
<p>Ask your S/D. And, fwiw, hitting them with your wallet, i.e., threatening to withdraw financial support if you don’t get the answers you want, is not appropriate either. And, speaking of appropriate, if you have built a good relationship with your children since they were small, getting enough accurate information to satisfy your curiosity shouldn’t be a problem, either.</p>
<p>Under FERPA (a federal law), schools are prohibited from releasing any educational records or information of a student 18 years old and above to any third party, including parents, without the student executing a release authorizing the disclosure. So, there is no one that a parent can contact at a college to obtain educational information on a student without the student’s cooperation and if the student would cooperate by signing a release, then why would you want to contact the school anyway instead of just have an open and candid conversation with your student. Even if a student executed a FERPA release, colleges would think it inappropriate for a parent to contact them just to get an “update” on how a student is doing. Obviously, if there is a specific problem that the student has advised you of, depending on the severity of the circumstances, it could be appropriate to set up a meeting with the school but this is a far cry from periodically checking in with the school or professors about how a student is doing. My son graduated college a year ago and my daughter is a junior and they would have been mortified and gone ballistic if I had ever interceded in issues that came up, let alone made generalized inquiries about how they were doing. College is the time that parents, if they have not done so long ago, have to give up notions of micromanaging if they want their kids to be functioning adults.</p>
<p>I do not think that there is a standard answer. It all depends on the student, on his history, on the people asking the question etc. One friend may answer by mentioning her S’s grades because this has always been the main area of concern (ADD, memorization problems). Her very bright and social S struggled in HS to get a GPA in line with his talents . Another friend’s answer may be focused on how well her D is coping with the college experience. Her kid is very shy and during her freshman year she was often home sick. My own S, a college junior, has always been bored to death in HS (and MS). Admin did not support a special program. I’m not hiding his high GPA and the challenging level of courses he is taking when they are asking me how he is doing these days.</p>
<p>OH, when people ask me how my son is doing in college, I say that he really loves it, he’s just passed his Qual (qualifying exam for the major) and is looking forward to applying to graduate school this coming year and working on his senior thesis. I have no idea what his GPA is, and neither does he, because the school doesn’t give out grades to the students (though they are kept on file.) </p>
<p>If they’re friends who know him more personally, I tend to mention his relationship status, that he’s got a tiny dorm room this year but is looking forward to being in the senior housing lottery next year, because the rooms for seniors are the best ones.</p>
<p>As a college professor, I can tell you that I consider a really good student to be someone who’s excited about learning and in general who is SO excited about the material that they’re learning that they actually go beyond the requirements of the course. For some students, their excitement translates into going to visit the prof during office hours, seek out additional reading, borrow books from the prof occasionally. These are the students who don’t just read what’s in the syllabus, but if I offer an aside where I say something like “there’s some new research appearing on this subject next month in THIS JOURNAL,” they actually go out and read the journal article too. (They’re the guy whose dorm room is literally full of stacks of books on his favorite subject.)</p>
<p>For some students, this translates into looking for a research opportunity with a professor, or an internship where they can go beyond merely what they’re learning in class. </p>
<p>In some cases, for me a really good student is someone who’s so taken with international development that they go out and found an organization devoted to international development projects, or who is so taken with the environment that they get involved in challenging university recycling practices, learning more about green technology in the local buildings or something similar. I’ve had good students who became fascinated with strip mining, the plight of migrant farm workers and all sorts of other issues.</p>
<p>Two things you’ll notice are that students who take off in this way in college are frequently involved with adults in the community as well as other students, and in the process they frequently make inroads into what they want to do professionally through making contacts and meeting people. In addition, students who get involved ina project where they end up going on trips to do field research, present at conferences and so forth seldom have time to drink beer in the frat house, worry about who’s wearing what to a particular dance, nor do they seem to have time to run up large credit card bills while shopping. They also tend to spend spring break doing really interesting things.</p>
<p>Just my two cents . . .</p>
<p>Here’s a definition of a “good” student:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>A student that regularly attends class and doesn’t skip. You would be surprised at how many students skip lectures and rescitations just to sleep in or catch up socializing or other schoolwork.</p></li>
<li><p>Using office hours. I attend a large university, and it is strange how very few students take advantage of those office hours. Going to office hours helps a professor differentiate that particular student from the hundreds he or she has each term. Good for recommendations.</p></li>
<li><p>A student that volunteers and/or does internships. Having a high GPA means nothing if you haven’t got work experience in your desired field.</p></li>
<li><p>Asking questions. A good student ALWAYS asks questions, as stupid as they may sound.</p></li>
<li><p>A student that does NOT party during the weekdays. Work hard THEN play hard. ;)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>A student has to have ambition and a great work ethic to be considered a “good” student, imo.</p>
<p>
Necessary but not sufficient. Those are the “weeder” criteria.</p>