The sad part is that all too many families do not understand the EFC and think that the $ will miraculously appear int he form of grants or something that just isnt accurate. Many families can try to put even a few dollars into a 529 each year and keep some options open.
I think it is important to remember that when students post on this board, they are giving only what they understand about parents’ incomes, motives, planning, etc. Often they may not know of issues involving elder care, pending layoffs, etc. that may be coming into play with parental assets and options.
In any event, whatever the reason the parent can’t pay. So student has to look at other options. Lots of suggestions were made here. Community College, while living at home and working and saving…then transferring to a 4 year state school is often a true, affordable option. ‘Good’ students tend to feel cheated by this, but sometime you just have to do what you have to do.
The EFC for some is on point and a chunk the family can handle. Other times it is on point, but the family feels that they just cannot commit to paying it. Yet other times, the EFC seems ridiculously inaccurate (and you can explain that to FA offices but no guarantee that they will care or do anything about it on their end).
This is why so many veterans of the college process always preach to plan on affordable options and learn to love the schools that love you, financially and otherwise.
But they misled her about their ability to pay, to the point where the daughter was unable to apply for many of those merit scholarships.
Here in MA, we have many affordable college options for her with the CC and city schools we have. She will have no problem getting a good education. I think the problem is that many kids with very strong academics are mislead into thinking that great grades will get you scholarships to help pay. As it may in some cases, the problems arise when what is available is not within the comfort zone of the child. A place like UoA is only appropriate if a student can handle a place that huge and can handle being that far from home.
But I definitely feel for the OP. Being told to go to CC with top grades because you have no money is tough to take. It happens to us all when we realize we just do not have the cash to do things we thought we would be able to.
This is not helped by the schools themselves. I don’t know how many times we heard “don’t let the sticker price scare you”. Since we’re pretty much full pay anywhere, but not Trumpian rich, the sticker price was certainly important to us.
And that is why there are net price calculators on all college websites. Yes, this NPCs aren’t perfect, and should be viewed as an estimate…but it’s better than a shot on the dark.
Those who are self employed, own real estate other than their primary residence, or are divorced parents might find these NPCs inaccurate. But for many…they are pretty close. The more questions asked, the more likely theynare to be accurate as well.
Lots of folks don’t seem to know that these NPCs even exist.
@sylvan8798 our high school is very guilty of this. They want kids to apply to the highest ranked schools possible because it makes them look good and increases their stats on Naviance. I called our GC on this when he scuffed at DD only applying to schools that gave great assured merit, “but she could do so much better!” He wanted her to apply for several reach for anyone schools that we could not afford.
This may be off topic but there are several posts in this thread that are the type that make me want to avoid this forum.
Since so many feel there is value in “speaking the frank, harsh truth”, allow me to do so:
If you don’t have something helpful to contribute, step away from the keyboard. You’re not helping. No one thinks you are smart because you can type what everyone already knows. Those tired epithets you use prove the opposite.
Those of you that are offering suggestions and helping this young person, kudos.
This student should not start at a CC. That would just mean that her junior and senior years would be unaffordable.
She needs to take advantage of huge merit for incoming frosh.
She seems to be losing the forest for the trees. She’s voiced a concern that she won’t end up at a top undergrad so that she can go to a top med school so that she can practice at Mass Childens. If she doesn’t follow the path that’s been given to her for a low cost undergrad, she probably won’t be finishing undergrad for many, many years.
She needs to ask herself, which choice is better…
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starting at a pricey school and either racking up huge undergrad loans or having to leave because the bills aren’t being paid…and maybe never becoming a physician.
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going to a low cost “good school” (low cost because of generous merit) and getting top grades and a strong MCAT, going to a med school and doing well, and then getting matched to a top residency in her chosen specialty, and then working at Mass Childrens?
I think she thinks #2 is not possible.
Guys, I really appreciate the feedback, believe me… I’m in a tough spot and so many of you guys are coming to my aid. But I don’t think my parents mislead me on purpose. They seemed to think that all this financial stuff would fall into place, because the only financial information they seem to have is from sessions from a lot of expensive private colleges, and some very vague information from my high school. should they have made an account on college confidential a year or two ago to learn more about this? Absolutely. But they just didn’t know it would be neccesary. I am incredibly disappointed and angry at the fact that I am in this pickle… but shaming my mom and Dad isn’t going to do any good for anyone at the moment. @NEPatsGirl I’m not trying to come off as a privileged little brat who is throwing a tantrum about a bad thing that happened, and if I came off that way at first (which, looking back, it seems like that was probably the case :/) then I’m sorry. @mom2collegekids thank you so much for this hook up, I will contact you asap. I am so grateful that so many people have commented and given my suggestions on this thread… it was an awesome Christmas present!
@mom2collegekids after you first commented on one of my threads, I really looked into what you were saying on the relevance of particular undergraduate schools impacting med school acceptance… and you’re absolutely right. I’m actually very frustrated that my guidance counselors and basic stereotypes have led my astray… I can do this no matter where I come from. That’s why all this information provided by all of you is incredibly valuable, and I really think coming out of undergrad with little debt can be possible now 
Unfortunately, this situation of OP came up very often and sometimes the student and parents do not realize until it was too late. With $90k-180k income but only $20k education saving per kid does sound too little. Note that even families with a $10k EFC does not mean they can afford their kid’s college education either if they do not plan wisely ahead of the time. Indeed, vast majority of colleges do not and cannot meet the needs of students. I just hired someone who wants toove back to Michigan before her son becomes junior in high school. There are parents that would do a lot more for their children’s education while others may just let the kids find their way out. You did get a lot of good information here and it is not too late to overcome that burden. Many students would take a gap year or going to a CC before transferring to college. If you want to get merit aid, however, the best aids go to freshmen only. Many students could not attend the schools they want to go because of financial reasons. You are not alone at all. Fortunately, you are finding your way out. Good luck on your college application.
The college aid process is very confusing; no wonder students and parents end up in this pickle.
Colleges often add to the confusion by touting that they give out gazillions of dollars in aid each year, w/o revealing the fine print…that much is in loans and/or families with “good incomes” will be expected to pay a lot (at most schools).
Even the merit scholarship process is confusing. There are often early deadlines. GPA is a smaller part of the issue; test scores can be king.
@mom2collegekids ideally she will get merit aid and head away to school now. That is absolutely a possibility especially with the merit options you and others have provided. Yes, freshman year is the time for merit aid.
However, the option to live at home and go to community college (and work and save money) then transfer to a 2 year in state school is one that I believe can be a consideration. If there is a local state university as well, then finishing there after cc can be very, very affordable in most states. This is particularly true if a student has AP credits and therefore only spends fewer than 8 semesters on college. It is not ideal and not an option my kids have chosen. But it is something that can help one get a 4 year degree when they are feeling that other options are closing on them.
And yes, I have a know of people who did this route then went to medical school. Not the usual path at all, but not one that is a limiting as people think. In the end, you have a 4 year degree from a state univeristy. My kids have passed it up because they wanted the dorm and full college experience…away. But with each of them (we are on #3 with more to go), we present this option as a possibility and I hope that others at least are aware of this.
@3scoutsmom You raise an excellent point. Where are the OP’s guidance counsellors in all of this? At my kids’ two high schools, they call all the parents in in September of Junior year and spend a couple of hours explaining the university application process and related finances with the parents and kids there together and often have breakout sessions for the specialised applications (medicine, etc). They will have then have follow-up sessions for kids looking at specific paths such as Oxbridge, USA, Europe, etc, so by Christmas of junior year the parents and kids should have enough information at their disposal to start finalising their application strategies. I even had this type of info years ago in my crummy New Jersey high school. Assuming that OP is in a college prep type of curriculum (which it appears to be) what were the guidance counsellors doing?
Our guidance counselors were helping their 150 kids get through high school, get into classes, get into the state universities, get into the army or air force or navy. They were helping them find and finish vocational schools, stay out of jail, make it to classes on time (or just make it). There were no private meetings, no suggestions for schools, very little information on how to finance college.
It was a middle class (high military area) suburb where people lived because of the school district.
The OP was accepted into the state schools. How would the GC know that she wanted to go to other schools and needed a lot of financial aid? From the OP
Why do you think it is ‘insane’ that a private college, which may have a large endowment, can afford to subsidize the costs for excellent students? That is how it has always been at the top schools like Harvard and Brown. Public schools serve thousands of students, not the 2000-8000 served by the top private schools. Publics don’t have large endowments to subsidize the tuition costs for everyone. There isn’t tons of need based aid coming directly from the schools. I don’t know of any public schools that gives need based aid to students with EFCs of $20k. With a family income of $160k+, you aren’t going to get any need based money from public schools or from the federal government. Your best hope is merit money.
If you can find a top school that will meet 100% of your need, and it is better than the public school financial aid offer, you should grab that slot. What people are advising is that the FAFSA EFC is one number (in your case $20k) and those ‘meets full needs’ schools with calculate their own EFC based on the information you submit on the CSS, and it is possible that the number generated by the school may be higher than the FAFSA number.
Yes, a frank discussion about what your parents can/are willing to pay annually (and for how many years) will be a good starting point for figuring out how much you need to make up in merit aid and anything else you are willing to take on (like loans). That will help narrow down schools that are realistic for your budget. Wishing it were different can wind up being very expensive for you in the end.
It would be great if we all could could set our sights on any school we could get into, regardless of how much it costs and how much we can pay. That is not the reality in this country. What is the reality is that there are A LOT of great colleges here, and it is very possible to get a good education without being saddled by enormous debt on the other end if you have an accurate financial picture for yourself and your family and adjust your list of candidate schools.
Many, many kids struggle with the same things you are. Hang in there.
@londondad Don’t assume that the services weren’t offered. There were many opportunities for education on FA, college apps, scholarships etc provided , and the turnout was mediocre at best. I’d also venture a guess that very few, if any students , at most public HSs in this country are looking to study at Oxford or any other European schools. GCs are overburdened with the typical sending out LORs, school reports, scheduling classes etc that they have to prioritize what services they can provide to help the most students. People don’t attend meetings because they assume that financial aid is readily available to everyone, and as we see too often on CC is a fallacy.
@elizajanebh Somebody upthread mentioned U Mass Lowell. With your stats, you might qualify for a merit scholarship (assuming deadline has not passed) and I believe there is an honors program there also.
For what it’s worth, I am an adult and knew almost nothing about this process when my daughter was a junior. We visited a bunch of campuses and then figured out after the fact that we couldn’t afford them, oops! I also have friends who are well educated professionals and they had no clue how the financials work out and are very surprised when we sit down and chat. One couple I know assumed that their child would be able to cover tuition, room, and board out of scholarships, direct student loan, and a part time job because that’s what they had done 25-30 years ago! They weren’t The important thing is that you’re figuring this out now and there is still a little bit of time to explore affordable alternatives. Best of luck to you!