<p>ST2, I'm right on your bumper, ;)</p>
<p>
[quote]
all parents who would take out a 2nd mortgage to pay for the dream school of your children, say aye
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Let's have an interim check-hmmmmm- Don't see a dream school mortgage line forming yet. Maybe after supper.</p>
<p>2nd mortgage for a dream school? uhh I think not if the 2nd mortgage was of any size that could not be easily paid off. say 15K at the most perhaps.</p>
<p>Actually, cur... I did take out a 2nd mortgage years ago just for that purpose. Or to be more accurate, I opened a home equity line of credit about a year before my son started college, with the idea of having a source of funds to pay for college. I have since refinanced and no longer have the HELOC, as when my son did start college it was obvious that the PLUS loan was a better option at the time -- when PLUS rates were around 4%. (Now, not so good)..</p>
<p>But the point is, many of us will use whatever financing options we have available. But there is a limit; my personal limit is that I will take on debt up to around $500/month in payments if needed, so it kind of depends on what each $100/month in payments can buy in terms of financing. </p>
<p>FWIW, our out of pocket for my daughter to attend her college next year will be a little over $16K -- I'm wondering if the financial aid office consulted with you as to what is an appropriate figure?</p>
<p>
Isn't that a trip? LOL I only wish Yale and Amherst could have received the memo. That number keeps popping up, doesn't it?</p>
<p>Well, my costs are going to go up in year #2. I'm working hard this year to generate more income.... and as we all know, more income = higher EFC.</p>
<p>And my currently-very-reasonable costs are going to go way up - with entry of kid #2 into college for Fall '07- (unless I'm "stingy" and "sad", and FORCE the boy to attend a low-tier college w/merit aid- LOL). I'm not trusting financial aid at just-undetermined-DS's school to split the EFC fairly with Rice. Rice has been berry, berry good to us - but rumor has it that not all schools can afford to be so nice, and many will fill your financial package w/ loans, loans and more loans. I feel stingier and sadder by the minute just THINKING about it!!!! ;)</p>
<p>Just have your kid #2 cast a wide net, and have the talk that ST2 suggests before you start. I had the exact same agreement with my d: I would pay whatever it would have cost for her to attend her California in-state university of choice (with financial aid factored in).... and a private school would have to match that. (Anything beyond that was "we'll see, but don't count on it.")</p>
<p>Either that, or send Kid #2 to Rice. ;)</p>
<p>If we are taking a poll, I also had the "talk" and laid down the line that the estimated cost of attendance at flagship state U was our maximum family contribution. I have the Tex A&M COA page on my Favorites list. Dream schools for my kids are not going to interrupt my dreams of retiring some day.</p>
<p>I am a firm believer in everyone putting their cards on the table. Nasty surprises, be they from students or parents, can be very toxic for relationships. Not to say that, as now labeled,"the talk" cures all problems - but it certainly clears the air and lays out every ones expectations. I want to add that nobody should be judgmental or try to impose their expectations on the other parties (especially parents). This defeats the purpose of the dialog, which then becomes a non productive monologue.</p>
<p>This is the time for parents to decide what level of financial commitment they feel comfortable with. If it is a second mortgage or sizable loans - then fine. Just consider all the potential ramifications before making that commitment. I firmly believe that once such a commitment is made, only calamitous changes in finances should alter that commitment. On the other hand if a parent is not in a position or does not feel comfortable making such a commitment - that is fine also. The parent should, within reason, explain why and to what level they feel they can or will commit and then once again be willing to stay with at least that level.</p>
<p>This is also a time for the student to make a commitment as to what they feel they can or are willing to do. A variety of options, from state schools to so called elite schools should be looked at along with options, choices and ramifications of choices. This does not mean that students should choose specific schools but consider various kinds of school options and what it might take to achieve various options. Does this "cut into the carefree high school years" - possibly to a point - but I believe that goals are better than no goals and "carefree" can all too often mean "no goals" and just "drifting".</p>
<p>Once again, this is just my take on the situation. I am sure that different people have different takes on the process. What worked for us may or may not work for others so I am just passing this on for consideration as a possible option. I guess everyone being up front and working at keeping their commitment just seems like a good idea to me. On the other hand if anyone is looking for other options, I have a good friend who is a mortgage broker. Your nickel - your choice.</p>
<p>Asking about a 2nd mortgage is only one way families might have to stretch to pay for college expenses ... unless a family is stting on assets they can liguidate then coming up with additional money for college will ultimately be reflected in having to work longer. And yes I am quite willing to work longer so my kids can go to a school with a higher concentration of high achieving academic students ... if all 3 kids go to private schools without merit aid this will be about 10 extra years of work to pay for college with about 5 of those years being the increment from State U to a private school.</p>
<p>As the child of depression-era parents, I can appreciate the different opinions expressed here. We all place different values on different things. I am too cheap to get my hair colored at the salon. I save over $100 and buy a box of dye from CVS. I know women who would go without food and shelter before they'd dye their own hair. I pay a fortune for music lessons for my kids, though. Plenty of people might think I'm nuts.</p>
<p>I have a friend who is loaded, yet cleaned out her parents' gutters and hung their Christmas lights each year. Her dad had hip replacements & she didn't want him climbing ladders. Why didn't she just hire someone? Not because she was too cheap, but because it would cause her parents incredible distress to know she had paid $$$ for a service that they considered a do-it-yourself project. Simply unheard of among many depression-era people. I have friends who have contracted lawn care, landscaping, or housecleaning services for elderly parents & have been chastised for their excess. Those values, right or wrong, get passed on or ignored. </p>
<p>I don't yet know where I fall on the college spending spectrum. I know I would absolutely be willing to shell out $16Gs for my kids' dream college (or dream opportunity,) though.</p>
<p>StickerShock is that 16Gs a year or a total of 16Gs. Big difference.</p>
<p>Real simple you pay your money make your choices and take your chances. No way of telling what the right choice is or even if there is a right choice. My advice is to listen to different opinions look at peoples past experiences and see what scenario might be the most applicable to your situation. Then use other peoples input to learn from not copy. They are unique and you are unique. I would only advise not waiting until you are too deep into the admissions process. The sooner you make your decisions, the less pain you end up with in the end. </p>
<p>So let me get this straight the mortgage line forms to the left the opportunity line forms to the right the merit line somewhere in between with other lines to be formed as needed. Step right up and choose your line or possibly straddle a few lines.</p>
<p>We're straddling all the lines...</p>
<p>Our son is at a state public, 'only' 19K/ year total. The school 'awards' him the maximum Stafford loan and a bit of workstudy. We require son to accept the Staffords, which he agrees to willingly. We cover the rest but hardly all out of pocket. Some from 529 savings, some with home equity, some with current income.
Our son will have about 17K in total debt, we will have a bit more. Seems about right for our family. Our son gets an education, his sister will have her opportunities, and perhaps we can retire some day. </p>
<p>Think it's impossible to imagine the multitude of 'correct plans' that exist for providing an education for our children given the enormous number of variables involved.</p>
<p>No more calls, I think we have a winner.</p>
<p>That was the whole point - there is no correct plan or correct answer. It is all about what works for you and your situation. As soon as we all realize that - everyone will be better off. Listen to others and learn from their experiences - but remember it is their experiences, which may or may not apply to you. My only point is - evaluate your situation as early as possible - make sure everyone understands and accepts the parameters and then keep your comitments. Seems simple, but unfortunately does not always end up that way. </p>
<p>Come on Cur, where are you now when we need one of your sage comments or observations.</p>
<p>ST2, I'm playing second fiddle, can't you hear me? You are playing real purty . You don't need me mucking it up. ;)</p>
<p>Cur - you know how I feel about public posting - prefer to do my work person to person behind the scenes. To me there is much more satisfaction in when you help somone with a question or application or even help them come up with merit money than in public venting. This is probably more public stuff than I have ever done. You seem so adept at feeling the pulse and arriving at some sage answer to enlighten the situation. That being said still don't agree with you on choice of BB teams. But your nickel - your choice - just would have liked to meet you in person - and now that shall never come to pass. Although graduate will be living in Dallas, one less line to consider standing in.</p>
<p>ST2: I just paid $15G for d's freshman year in h.s. Worth every penny to us. I'd be absolutely comfortable w/ $16G per year for a great college experience at a dream school. We did put $$$ away. It's just that the financial planners we met with when she was born were telling us we'd need about $100G, not double that.</p>
<p>
[quote]
If we are taking a poll, I also had the "talk" and laid down the line that the estimated cost of attendance at flagship state U was our maximum family contribution. I have the Tex A&M COA page on my Favorites list. Dream schools for my kids are not going to interrupt my dreams of retiring some day.
[/quote]
Oh, we've had the talk(s) - I'm sure both kids would say ad nauseum! I'm not as generous as you; COA includes travel expenses, books, personal expenses, etc. My kids know that we'll only pay tuition and R&B - everything else is up to them to finance through summer work/school year work. And it is amazing how frugal they are with their own hard-earned money! So far DD's private U has/will cost less than UT-Austin, at least through her junior year. :) (But I'm quaking in my boots about her senior year / his freshman year - with two of them in college! :eek:)</p>
<p>lol just wait until its time for you to ask your kids to send you to your dream nursing home...you better hope that they arent bitter</p>