My Grandma passed away last month and my cousin donated a tree in her name. My Dad was really touched by this.
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Bottom line is that any thoughtful gesture would be appreciated.
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Definitely send a sympathy card. Flowers or a donation to a requested charity in lieu of flowers.
I’ve heard of people doing that. I have a friend who had a bench with a plaque placed at her grandfather’s favorite park/botanical garden.
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No flowers. They are for those who understand the custom considered an insult because as my grandmother used to say “they imply the family doesn’t know enough to bury their dead quickly as required”. Jewish funerals customarily take place within a day if at all possible. 2 at most unless circumstances make it impossible. Flowers were originally used in funerals to mask the smell of death. Hence the No Flowers custom. Food is almost always welcome in a Shiva house. Unless they keep kosher. Then you send only thru the “ food coordinator “
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When my grandmother passed my Jewish friend planted a tree in Israel in her memory. My grandmother was not Jewish but would have very much loved the gesture. I also was vey touched.
Nope. No flowers to a Jewish funeral. You can send a meal or make a donation in the deceased person’s name. Those are the options.
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Commonplace. You do it through the Jewish National Fund (Keren Kayemet L’Israel).
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Exactly. I think unless someone understands that historically it was considered an insult to send flowers it’s hard to comprehend why it a no no. But I’ve had acquaintances perplexed by our customs. I once called a new work colleague to let them know my MIL had passed away and I would be at the funeral the next day and she said ‘I’m so sorry I wish I had known sooner, I would have come.” And when I explained she had only passed away that morning, colleague was shocked by how soon funeral was.
A friend had a tree planted in my mother’s honor thru the National Arbor Day Foundation. It was a very thoughtful gift as my mother was very into her garden and was actually a donor of the National Arbor Day Foundation herself.
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Yep, I have the paperwork and was looking at it last night!
You can also write a personalized message on the card that goes to the family about the tree and the history behind it. I was actually thinking of framing the card - it’s just such a special, positive memory for me.
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