mom60 - I really like the cooking schedule for big groups. It makes it more of a vacation for everyone. That way people aren’t nervously milling about asking “should I do something to help?” or feeling guilty when someone else is in the kitchen. You can rightlfully take the night(s) off b/c later on you’ll be doing the whole job yourself (and it will be their turn to relax).
My husband’s brother owned a vacation home for many years. When our kids were growing up, it was lots of fun. Cousins together. A lake. Lots of trails. 3 generations together.
As everyone got older, it was less fun. The kids grew up, lived all over the country. Didn’t have the time to do a generational vacation. Porting supplies, planning meals wasn’t difficult. It was ok.
But it wasn’t for my husband and it was his family. He felt trapped and as his parents became less mobile, he felt he needed to be close to the house to be with him. The vacation home was sold in 2021 and it wasn’t missed by us at all. In fact it was a relief because we like spending our time at our house.
My husband is not much for vacations. This fall we did what was probably his dream idea. We stayed in our own house and traveled to different golf courses a couple of times a week. Vacation but in your own bed. He is a homebody. Likes to be home. With his own stuff. Even a vacation home isn’t his idea of fun.
When we do vacation, it’s to see something we haven’t seen before and to be active. But since we feel we live in paradise, even that doesn’t have to be done often.
For many years, any time off was spent traveling to see family. When our kids were young, we were expected to travel to our parents. Now that our kids are older, we are expected to travel to them. I’m not sure how that happened but there has never been any “expectations” that people travel to us. Our home now isn’t in the area our kids grew up in. Our kids want to spend their limited vacation time taking trips that they want to do. And they have in laws also who expect them to spend time with them.
I guess I’m not sure what our style is. Mostly it’s about keeping the other half happy if I’m to be brutally honest. I’m happy with a lot of different things.
I wanted to edit my post to explain some processes for our family. Because my comment might be interpreted poorly about visiting family. My husband does not enjoy traveling. He does not like being away from home. He also likes his children and now that he’s retired, he doesn’t want me to visit without him. But that means that every time we leave our home, he yearns for his time in his house. So if we spend time visiting one child and then parents. Of which every person is in a different state. So that means that visiting family means time away and the husband doesn’t then want to be away again for a vacation. If your spouse isn’t like this, be happy. But it’s a difficult dance. To see the kids, see the parents. Go on an occasional trip. Juggle all of it. And no one is coming your way.
My kids used to say it is not a vacation unless there is a need for a passport. In hindsight, I wish we had done more traveling around the States. We used to do one one sightseeing trip and few resort/beach vacations a year.
Our sightseeing trips usually started with a breakfast in the room, one sightseeing or shopping event in the morning, sit down lunch, nap for me (kids would go out with their dad), cocktail, big dinner and then bed. We usually planned one city a week.
With resort/beach vacations, we were even slower and with fewer activities. It was a lot of sitting by the pool and soaking up the sun. It was a lot of family time, eating, drinking and catching up on our sleep.
Now I am by myself, I have done a few tour trips (wine and food tasting) where I had to be more active. I enjoy it, but can’t do too many of them. When we do our annual family trips with my adult kids (and their families) we still keep it very low key and relaxed, only one event a day.
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It doesn’t take long for me to consider wherever I’m staying (hotel, VRBO, campsite) to be “home” when we travel - a day perhaps.
When we revisit places we’ve been more than once it often feels like we’re coming “home” for a bit. It’s a nice feeling, but I still prefer new places.
We have just a few days left here in Puerto Rico and are already contemplating our next couple of trips. Due to our son’s wedding in Sept the next two will be smaller/cheaper, but next winter will come and we’ll see where we end up. Plus we’ll work another trip in here too. There’s more to see in PR and our son lives here, so… Can’t do it all in six weeks, esp since H has had a few actual “work” days here. We drove through Old San Juan, but opted not to walk around it this time, pushing that onto the next trip here, as will be more of the caves in the northwest since we didn’t get there. Nonetheless, PR already feels a bit like home to me.
When we have to be in hotels vs VRBO or AirBnB we always keep some quick foods on hand so we don’t have to eat out all the time. If there’s a small fridge and a microwave, that’s a plus. If not, then we’ll stick with things that don’t need to be refrigerated and/or cooked. I don’t like cooking or cleaning, but I can’t imagine eating every meal out. I’d gain a ton of weight.
When we stay with our adult kids they often handle all or most of the cooking and cleaning in exchange for us paying for the lodging and buying the food. That’s a win for us all. We’ll eat out one meal per day as we wish (meaning not every day, but many of them).
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Even when we visit our aging parents, we bring allthe food and do all the cooking. This is true for trips as well, bc DH and S2 both have food allergies that are just too hard to navigate safely in strange places. It is hard on everyone – they feel like they are making work, we feel bad that they can’t just sashay into any cute little food spot like so many other people do. But we make it work, because there’s no other choice. I will say it has separated us from our extended families — they like to eat out a lot, and find our presence a buzzkill so they just avoid doing things with us because they hate eating in. That part is zero fun.
If we VRBO as a family (and are driving), we do bring a lot of easy to grab snacks & lunch stuff (bagels, cold cuts, pasta salads, etc.) None of us are breakfast eaters and wouldn’t be looking for a hot, cooked breakfast or a hot lunch. If we fly in, we’ll stop and grab morning coffee stuff and snacks.
Eating dinner out in popular vacation areas during peak times can get expensive, for sure. Some budget for that and others choose to eat-in. For those eating out, it’s completely doable to make choices that maintain a healthy eating lifestyle - unless you’re vacationing in an area that is mostly fast food & chain restaurants (I love to eat local fish when I am somewhere coastal). A lot of sugar & calories come from fancy cocktails & some wines so I avoid those.
I was my turn last year to be the planner for my annual girls trip and I wanted to have a “Big Chill” type of experience and be able to enjoy the beautiful house we rented instead of going out to eat, so I pre-made almost all of our meals, snacks, desserts, froze them and brought them with me. I didn’t have to cook anything - just reheat. It was a big effort on the front end, but I was able to enjoy time with friends and not be stuck in the kitchen. Everyone appreciated not having to spend additional money eating out.
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When my DH’s family had a vacation home, the restaurants were over-priced, but more importantly not that good. We ended up cooking more than we would normally like to on vacation, but better than waiting a long time for a table and then having less than mediocre food.
I also grow tired of being the one in charge @LeastComplicated. Especially the “what are we doing today” question every day.
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1 type of vacation I really despise is camping. It’s just not my thing. Involves acquiring a lot of camping gear/‘stuff,’ packing up your house, driving somewhere, setting up your ‘house’ for a couple of days, living in not ideal conditions, sleeping on lousy air mattresses or on the ground, pooping in pit toilets and/or public bathrooms, packing up all of your stuff, and then…finally, unloading your house and putting it all away.
Too much work.
If I want to sit around a camp fire, I’ll do it in my backyard. And then when fire pit time is done, I can go inside my nice little house with running water, a nice bed, electricity, and modern toilets that I don’t have to share with dozens of other people. 
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I like tent camping in theory but not in reality any more. Mainly the nighttime part due to hip issues and need for middle of the night bathroom trips. Now I like to do “day camping” - from home or a hotel base bring food / drinks and my camp chair and spend the day in nature until sunset.
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Agreed on the work of camping. It is a busy prep day and as I camp in semi wilderness, the packing needs to be carefully considered as there is no store to run to, unless en route. However, to be totally off grid is a pleasure to some of us. As the years go by, the mattresses get thicker and thicker to keep it comfortable and chair design more carefully considered. Not for everyone!
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Fire pits are so great just for this reason! The ambiance and s’mores without the tents! Love our fire pit.
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Hahaha, We purchased a place in the mountains when the kids were 9 and 12. It has all the comforts of home. What does H do the second time we go there…suggests camping out for a night or two. I’m in tent #1 with DD. - and two 80 lb dogs. We have our mats and sleeping bags and warm clothes and …and…and… D turns to me and says 'does Dad know we have a cabin…why are we doing this?"
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I love camping and the logistics and setup are part of the appeal for me. My wife… not so much. 
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Needless to say, we love camping and our kids continue to do so even without us now that they’re adults.
That said, we don’t like crowded campgrounds with people making a lot of noise, often accompanied by a lot of alcohol. We prefer seclusion, a view, and critter noises. We’ll pick places with fewer amenities to get what we crave and you won’t find us at a KOA - made that mistake in our earlier years! State, National, or Local parks are our favorite, or our own campsite at our house approx 1/4 mile away where our property meets the creek in the woods.
Nature isn’t for everyone, but it’s for us. Youngest and his wife love it so much they’ve gone off grid in the mountains here in PR in essentially an earthen tent. It’s super peaceful there. Oldest likes it so much that he and his wife are spending their 10th Anniversary camping in National Parks so he can show her places he loved in our travels during his youth.
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Exactly! Cocktails and S’mores by the fire then off to a comfy bed with the windows open and nothing but the smell of pine and the sounds of the night woods to lull us to sleep. Nature at its best!
Oh, and there’s a nice bathroom with toilet paper, too!
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That’s my idea of camping.
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I don’t mind a night or two of camping that has a purpose beyond simply sitting by a fire in the middle of the woods and does not require a blue tarp… But a whole week of camping can get old fast.
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My summer vacation is right here. At the end of my road. I can go there every day. It’s peaceful and beautiful.
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Mixed on camping. A very memorable camping trip at the Grand Canyon a few years ago with my college-aged son. Being so close allowed us to see both the sunset and the sunrise over the canyon. Cooking easy stuff over an open fire and just being out in the quiet was wonderful. We did tent camping (flew with an extra bag on the plane for tent etc.) and I got a very nice sleeping pad.
We have also had wonderful times camping with friends (mostly out west) and not so wonderful times when the rain ruined our trip.
In contrast, another time the two of us went to a state park near his college. The plan was to camp one night and then do a rafting trip in the morning. It was a very nice spot, with quiet neighbors until later in the evening when another couple arrived to join the quiet folks next to us. They weren’t teens, but were young adults. Quiet hours were 10pm to morning. By 1 am I had had it with their loud talking and loud music. Much to my son’s embarrassment, I went out in my PJs and asked them to quiet down, that it was like they were in the same room with us trying to sleep. Of course, they turned the music louder. We were up early to make the rafting trip and although we weren’t super noisy, I certainly did not try to be quiet! They left before we got back to the campsite and did leave us an apology note on a paper plate, but so incredibly rude.
Of course that can happen in a rental house or cabin, but was very frustrating.
At this point, and with DH’s mobility issues, probably will opt for some kind of camper moving for our next camping adventure.
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