<p>One tour we were on one of the mothers was a little heavy and it was pretty warm, and the tour guide (a dancer!) hauled us up and down numerous staircases - outside and in. The mom kept complaining, loudly, “not another staircase!” and “wow, we just came up the stairs and there’s an elevator right there!”. I don’t imagine her kid was thrilled about all the attention that got.</p>
<p>during spring break, we went to the Northeast for a college tour. On the day we visited Columbia, it was sunny and warm in the morning when we left Fort Lee. I wore a slack and tee shirt with a soft shell wind breaker. When we ended the tour at around noon, it was SNOWING, I had to stay in the hallway while the guide standed in the middle of the open campus gardon finishing his speach.</p>
<p>First Commandment: Thou shalt not embarrass thy teenaged offspring</p>
<p>However it is very easy to sin when the every act of your breathing results in their embarrassment.</p>
<p>You might consider talking to DD, and asking for her input about your planned wardrobe…and you could then give her input on hers…afterall, this is supposed to be fun-and potentially you could meet with someone who could actually help her gain admissions…my two cents…</p>
<p>My experience too is that no matter what I wore or how I acted, my kids felt that I was an embarrassment.</p>
<p>My daughter will probably never forgive me for the, ‘Rat Incident’. At a not-to-be-named college, the backward-walking tour guide tripped over a large dead rat that was lying belly-up on the path. A few of the more squeamish kids screeched, so I did what I considered to be a Public Service, and booted the offending rodent into nearby bushes with one well-placed kick.</p>
<p>Then there was the ‘Rock Incident’. A particularly boring tour guide was showing us around Sarah Lawrence, so I was tarrying in the back of the crowd. I then wandered over to a large rock outcropping (I’m a geologist, OK?), checked it out, then re-joined the group. The tour guide asked me what I was looking at, to which I replied, “Fordham Gneiss”.</p>
<p>Maybe the kids had a point.</p>
<p>Just a reminder, and this is just my opinion:</p>
<p>If you wear baseball caps/hats outdoors while touring, unless you cover your head for religious reasons (not sure how the admission counselor would know for sure), I would remove my hat if called in to speak with the counselor after the interview. JMO</p>
<p>Maybe the kid being interviewed should, I might not. I don’t think he’d find my bald spot more appealing than the baseball cap. And I am not the one he is interviewing.</p>
<p>I don’t see how it’s relevant how the parents are dressed - it’s just a tour and info session. If there are any interviews it’s the kid being interviewed - not the parents (I assume). I think you should wear whatever you want and if you normally embarrass your kids by what you wear then I guess they’re already used to it.</p>
<p>I just wore what I always wear year-round - shorts, t-shirt, flip-flops but we only toured California campuses and what I wore wasn’t out of line and actually was what most students wore (but probably not most of the dads who were more dressed as if they were going to play golf, except for some people from Asia who were dressed in suits even when it was quite hot out - they looked quite out of place). I generally don’t care what others think about my attire.</p>
<p>OP, after reading your post about taking the tour guide to lunch and asking about hookups… I think your attire is the least of your worries. I just read that post aloud to D1, and she said you are lucky your kids even want to be in the same city with you. Hate to say it… but I think you are already “that parent”.</p>
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<p>I think that pretty much sums up one of the camps on this thread. Others DO care, and make an effort to dress appropriately “when in Rome…”</p>
<p>Incidentally, monydad, removing your hat/cap in an admissions office, particularly during the interview, is a sign of respect and good manners. True, your child is the one being interviewed, but you are in the room and what you say and do (or don’t do) reflects directly on him.</p>
<p>YMMV, and evidently does.</p>
<p>
Why would the parent be in the room while the student is being interviewed? Is it very common that the parent would be in the room then? The only interviews my kids were in they were on their own which IMO is as it should be.</p>
<p>According to the OP most of the visits don’t include interviews anyway, although I don’t see how that’s relevant if the parent isn’t being interviewed, so he should wear what he wants and worry about meeting some stranger’s idea of what they consider appropriate which will vary with the background and customs of the random stranger anyway (ex: the people from Asia I mentioned who wore suits in SoCal in the summer, women who wear high heels when attempting to do a large campus tour, etc. - I don’t care that they’re dressed like this but I feel no responsibility to match their sartorial biases).</p>
<p>Monydad, isn’t a man supposed to remove a hat or cap indoors anyway, unless it’s for religious reasons? Wearing a cap indoors has a bit of a sloppy casual feeling to it.</p>
<p>moneydad
That is one of the two reasons I am going and not ShawWife, whose very existence appears to be a cause of embarrassment, whether she’s breathing or not. I’m actually looking forward to the trip. </p>
<p>APOL
Interesting idea on getting her input. She’s got a good fashion sense, though her friend, ShawWife and I rejected two dresses before finding a blouse/skirt that are demure enough for meeting the president of a university.</p>
<p>I think asking your D is a great idea. My D loves to dress her Dad. She recently vetoed the grey suede Van skateboard style shoe. She told him he wasn’t 16. She does have a point as on weekends my H has been known to be wearing the same Billabong T shirt as the 12 yr old at the next table.
My D just added don’t wear loafers with no socks with shorts.</p>
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<p>My son had quite a few interviews where parents were called after the interview and allowed to ask questions (mini info session at small schools where there might not have been the typical info session). We also went to a couple schools where there really wasn’t an interview, but more of family discussion (again in place of an info session).</p>
<p>PG the places I’m wearing a hat like that are when I am traipsing around outside in the sun for long periods of time. Most of those occasions are casual and I am not really concerned about whether I’m “supposed” to take my hat off, if it isn’t convenient I probably won’t.</p>
<p>When I go to the zoo, or Disneyworld, I might have a hat on like that, and when I go into some indoor zoo pavilion, I am probably not going to suddenly take my hat off and I really don’t think I am, actually, “supposed” to. Maybe I just wasn’t brought up right.</p>
<p>When I am on some campus tour I feel pretty much the same way. When I come back inside I am probably holding some brochures in one hand, some other stuff in the other hand, and quite possibly I’m not going to remove my cap. If I do I might lose it. I’ll be all sweated up and look like crap. as well. But I am not the “show” there, my kid is. I really sincerely feel that no admissions officer is going to care whatsoever. It would be different if I was interviewing there for presidency of the university, instead of just being there for the sole purpose of driving my kid around, and then paying. I agree that one shouldn’t make a spectacle of oneself, either by action or dress, but beyond that I really really don’t think anyone gives a hoot. That’s my opinion, again, YMMV.</p>
<p>Okay, I’ll bite. I brought up the cap/hat because when we got finished with a tour in 90 degree heat we were called into a meeting with an admission’s counselor. The order of events were that DS interviewed, we took a tour, we were all to then return to admissions and speak with an admission’s counselor. When we were done with the tour we were tired. DH did not even want to go back to admissions. I asked DH to return because not showing up in my mind made a statement that we were no longer “all that interested”. Our son was interested in this school. DH went along with the program. He forgot to remove his baseball cap. I was the one “giving a hoot”. I don’t know if the counselor cared or not. DH just forgot to take it off. I felt that he gave an impression of being rude and a bit rough around the edges. My husband does feel that one should take it off, but he would normally take it off in the men’s room or car and quickly run a comb through his hair first. He just forgot about the cap sitting on his head. Now you know why I posted #47. End result, the hat thing did not effect an admission decision, lol (nor would I have expected it to effect that). My son was admitted. Oh, and my son did not wear a hat, so he did not need to remember to remove it ;)</p>
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Thanks for that info nemom. Hopefully they wouldn’t view the applicant negatively if the student’s parents didn’t happen to dress the way the interviewer was accustomed to or preferred and would be equally accepting of people who happen to dress in different ways, even ‘California style’.</p>