<p>I would like to get some feedback from parents whose child or children have been offerred merit aid. My D was awarded a $12K/year scholarship at an excellent university that was her second choice. Her first choice offerred some need-based aid, but far less than $12K. Since completing her applications and being accepted by both, the second place school moved closer in her estimation to the first school, as far as satisfying her criteria, which did not include the cost of attendance. The first school was considered a "reach school," for her and the second a "match."</p>
<p>We knew that this "fork in the road" was a possibility, and by May 1, she will make her choice. She has expressed her conflicted feelings over the past week, and will be visiting both schools. I am anticipating that she will remain conflicted after making her trips and reflecting on what she learned from each.</p>
<p>It occurred to me that I could discuss with her what, as a family, we might do with the savings the merit award would bring. In one sense, it would free up a great deal of money that would otherwise go to her reach school, money which I would happily pay if she decided that was the school for her. </p>
<p>I am considering discussing with her that possibility that any decisions regarding the use of the merit aid savings should she choose to attend her match school would be hers. I believe that she would exercise the same high level of judgement regarding these funds as she will use choosing which school to attend. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>No plans at this time; too soon to tell. She knows that her parents went to grad school (public health) on govt. traineeships in the late seventies. I'll bring this up with her. Thanks</p>
<p>Do you have other children? We had a similar situation but didn't offer any of the "savings" to kid #1 as the money will be needed for kid #2. My thought was that kids being able to complete their undergraduate education with no debt was the biggest gift they could have and that the "savings" are just a help for Mom and Dad...not funds I wanted to let the kid access.<br>
The funds can be used for grad school, for other siblings, for additional expenses like books, travelling to and from school etc.<br>
I may be too harsh but I always considered school my kids "job" and merit money a "bonus" for a job well done. But the bonus is in knowing the job was well done and the monies are for the adults to figure out..IMHO.</p>
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<p>I could discuss with her what, as a family, we might do with the savings the merit award would bring. >></p>
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<p>I will start off by saying...we made our decisions to figure out the payment issues BEFORE we allowed our kids to apply to colleges. If we had not been prepared to pay the tab for a school, we would have told our kids up front...before the applications were submitted. However...having said that we had a similar situation to yours last year. School number one was a more expensive private school offering a smaller amount of aid. School number two was a less expensive flagship U that offered a huge amount of aid. We discussed very candidly the opportunities that the extra money could "buy". In the end DD chose the more expensive option KNOWING that this would actually prevent her from doing some things (travel during spring break, unpaid internships in the summer, having a car, living off campus, etc). We tried everything...discussed buying a car, a condo to live in (that's how much we would have been saving!), trips abroad, etc. DD chose the more expensive option because she really felt that the school was the best choice for her. Reality was...except for the finances...we agree!!</p>
<p>Easy for us -- with 5 kids we had told DD #1 that private school was only in the cards with scholarship. Since she got the scholarship, we have told her that to the best of our ability we will continue to add money to her college savings so that by the time she finishes undergrad she will have the equivelent of what her State U (a great school) would have cost with the understanding that the funds will help pay for med school or some other graduate program. Otherwise, the 529 plan will probably be rolled down to the younger kids. She seemed to understand that while the value of the scholarship was much more, the value to us in economic terms is what we are saving at the college we would have been able to help pay for.</p>
<p>For thumper1: I guess the question is: if your DD had chosen the flagship U with merit aid, would you have allowed her to decide to spend those $ on the traveling, car, living off-campus, trips abroad, etc, as she determined, and budgeted accordingly?</p>
<p>to ebeeee: Yes, we have one son who is a freshman at the public university, who received some need-based aid. Neither child should have any significant financial debts to pay after completing college, unless tuition rates rise well beyond expected! (Always a possibility). No plans for post-graduate studies for him either, at this time...</p>
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<p>if your DD had chosen the flagship U with merit aid, would you have allowed her to decide to spend those $ on the traveling, car, living off-campus, trips abroad, etc, as she determined, and budgeted accordingly?>></p>
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<p>We would have been more flexible in allowing her to choose to do any of the above things within reason. As it is...her choices to do any of the above are very very limited. Would she have been given "free rein" to spend the amount of money we saved? No. We have two kiddos in college.</p>
<p>Our D has a similar choice to make, $35,000 private with scholarship brings the price down to $25,000 vs $16,000 state. If she decides on the state school I am using the extra money for either other schools fees, such as semester overseas or grad school, if she goes. My other option is a nicer nursing home for me. It has never even entered my mind for her to have a say in what happens to the money.</p>
<p>We originally told our daughter that we would pay for undergrad and that graduate school would be on her. She received varying degrees of merit awards. She chose a school that offered full tuition + a room allowance. We agreed that we would take the money we would have spent on undergrad and fund graduate school.</p>
<p>Now, what she doesn't know (and we won't tell her) is that her cousin starts college in August and we will contribute something towards her cousin's costs so that her cousin's loans can be reduced.</p>
<p>ThatMom, you are very generous to do that and I am sure you have raised a child who will appreciate what you are doing should she ever know. Depending on what type of grad school she goes too, there can be tuition waivers and/or stipends for research, etc. I got both at different points in my undergrad and grad education. So she might not miss the money spent on her cousin.</p>