<p>Hi again, guys. :) I'm currently employed as a private college admissions counselor, and of course, one of my main offerings is help with admissions essays. Right now, I'm helping one young woman who is trying to get into Columbia (and other very selective schools).</p>
<p>Now here's my question. She is extremely talented and accomplished, but her essay-writing skills are not amazing. She has given me her first draft of her Common App essay, and its message/experiences described are genuine and inspiring, but the way she wrote it is fairly run-of-the-mill. If I was to reword a considerable amount of it and turn it into more of a "story" being told, with vivid descriptions and all that good stuff, would that be fair game? Would that roam on over into the "cheating" territory? </p>
<p>Well some competitive colleges compare your sat essays to validate the application essays. I do not know about Columbia in specific, you can check that in college board official website. If they feel its completely different, she might be in bigger trouble. . I am not saying that its not ethical but so far I know, its better if others only proof read not give a whole new narrative, style or technique. These things are expected to reflect the applicant’s creativity and personality in general. And as always, Admissions Officers are the best people to answer this</p>
<p>Can you give her some examples of essays that are more interesting and have a tone that is more appealing. </p>
<p>I am having the same issue with my son. He is very concerete person, and his essays are very…clinical, for lack of a better word. I am trying to help him understand that his essay needs more appeal, not read like an entry in a scientific journal. He says that is not him, and is concerned about trying to force that. </p>
<p>If you come up with a good idea, let me know!</p>
<p>If you have to ask if it’s ethical, it probably isn’t! Aside from that, the fact that you are asking the question at all indicates you should not be getting paid to act as a counselor. A true professional wouldn’t need to ask. Are you privately employed by the applicant (or her parents) or do you work for a company? If you are an employee of a company that provides such services, you should talk to your supervisor about whether or not you are crossing the line.</p>
<p>You can advise her to revise it that way. I’d begin by having her tell you the central story out loud, and asking her questions that will help her add details. Then ask her to brainstorm some ways to introduce the story and link it to the rest of the essay.</p>
<p>Agree with the others on all counts : yes, that’s crossing a line (more like erasing it) and when you are considering rewriting anything yourself and have to ask if that’s okay, I’d question whether you are in the right job. Unless, of course, you are the student in question and just trial-ballooning asking your advisor to do the work…</p>
<p>@Eiffel: I am an essay reader, and in the past two months I have probably read at least 100 of these suckers. Here is what I do: I offer general advice and tell them when a clause or word needs to be removed. Often I’ve advised kids to scrap most of their essay, reorganize it, lose ten dollar words and so on. I’ve had some resubmitted over and over again, and ALL of the kids were able to implement the changes and rewrite the essay. This is a part of the process, and it will be a process these kids will have to face for years to come. If a kid is not able to write, rewrite, revise, rewrite, revise again and again, then they do not belong at an Ivy. (P.S.: I am the mother of a math kid who hates to write essays)
I think what I am trying to say is that I tell kids what they need to get rid of, but I would never assist them in relation to what they need to add, nor would I presume to change up a personal writing style, even if that style lacks spark.</p>
<p>Here’s a real-life example of the last “help” I gave a few days ago. Granted, this person’s essay was very good to start with, but I wanted to see more:
</p>
<p>So you can see, it’s quite detailed advice, but I’m not doing the writing for the person.</p>
<p>—Robert Cronk, author of Concise Advice: Jump-Starting Your College Admisisons Essays</p>
<p>In June, you were looking at colleges. In May, you said you were a UCLA student looking to transfer. And, now you’re a counselor. You’ve asked so many questions about colleges all over the place. Care to clarify?</p>
<p>And, no, it is not “fair game” to substantially reword.</p>
<p>^Um, why should I need to clarify my life path to you? All of what you said is true, and I don’t see where clarification is needed anyway. </p>
<p>Anyway, this is the last time I’ll be posting on CollegeConfidential, I predict. While some people on this thread have been helpful, there are just too many people here who are rude, presumptuous, and offer empty criticisms rather than constructive advice. So, thank you to those who replied with something of substance, and to everyone else, I advise you sincerely: do not post on a thread if you have no real advice to offer, and if you do have advice, don’t go about giving it in the pointlessly rude fashion I see spread around on this website so often.</p>
<p>Hmm. I asked because it takes a knowledge and experience base to act as a college counselor, even informally. In general, looking for colleges for onesself is different than knowing how adcoms and their institutions operate. You didn’t say, helping underserved kids pull apps together, which would be noble. You said, “employed.” That’s all.</p>
It’s certainly a gray area still, and I’d definitely like to hear from some admissions officers on this.</p>