Also know thy child. My son when little never wanted to go sign up for baseball or football. But once there, every year, he just loved it and would tell us how happy he was. Then the next season the same thing. He is slightly introverted with some social anxiety. So doing college tours was no different then when he was younger but now in college he’s totally changed to this go getter and making things happen for himself. He said that going away to college naturally matures you. He is so different but in a positive way.
First ask her if she would like to go to college.
I would totally suggest a SUNY! She may be able to go for free.
Ask her what her favorite classes are.
Maybe have her just focus on which SUNY based on her answers.
Also if she is meh about everything is their a possibility of depression?
Also have you asked if she likes a big school or a small school? City.urban/suburban? how far from home?
My DD wanted to go to college but was not interested in the search process…at one point she said “Mom, you like reasearching things on the internet, can you come up with a list of colleges?”
So I thought that The College of New Jersey would fit her best…smaller, 1 hour from home, good value, suburbs…we visited that first (and then some others)…but then I suggested she apply ED there because she kept comparing everything to it and it was affordable.
The above poster mentioned anxiety…my DD also has social anxiety. Maybe the prospect of the whole college process was too much to try to take on alone.
Maybe just have her apply to the nearest SUNY (or the one you think would fit her best) and tell her she can choose others to visit and you will support that otherwise this is a fine choice.
I’m wondering if, because she’s in a specialized HS and most of those are pretty competitive (and she had to compete her whole life basically to qualify for one) – maybe she’s wary of “four more years of competitiveness and stress” ?
There are some schools that are high level in terms of academics and that also actively work to decrease stress in their students, decrease competitiveness. Since she’s female, she may want to look at Mt. Holyoke or Bryn Mawr. Both would probably give her merit with those scores and coming from a NYSpecialized HS – very rigorous and presigious. Both Mt.H and Bryn Mawr have lowered stress levels and are parts of consortia that allow students to take courses at a variety of schools. Bryn Mawr would be easiest for her in terms of getting home from breaks on the bus or train.
Co-ed schools like that include Earlham (not a consortium school) and Haverford, Santa Clara in California – and there are others. Simmons is strong, she’d get lots of merit and it’s in Boston. Vassar is pretty noncompetitive and coed but its aid is all need-based.
I would avoid Swarthmore as it’s uber competitive, Johns Hopkins, UChicago, and others like that.
She might also consider the gap year. Gap time is great for students (harvard recommends it in a blanket way).
Here are some ideas for what she could do –
Americorps – https://www.nationalservice.gov/programs/americorps
SCA – https://www.thesca.org/serve/young-adult-programs
Volunteer.gov
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