We had a tip that UMich had offered a full ride to a jazz bassist the year before, who then turned it down, so we gambled on an unmet musical need in our year that followed.
So would we @akapiratequeen!!! Dying around here! ACK! Right now Dâs most generous merit awards are from Loyola NOLA and CCPA. Hoping to have more of those very soon!
Fingers crossed for all!
@vistajay - yes it is so important to have that financial/academic safety, if you want to be able to sleep in March.
For grad school, my D did have a âsafetyâ (as much as they exist for grad school) where she was accepted early with a good offer. Then she waited on all others until mid-March and some dollars until Apr. 1 or slightly after. She finally got an acceptance to a school of high interest with a decent scholarship in mid-March but in a really pricey city. I remember lying awake at night staring at the ceiling, on spring break, thinkingâŠcould IâŠwould IâŠspend the money? Without the safety I would probably have been in panic mode. It can be such an emotional time and hard to say ânoâ to a kid after the torture of MarchâŠall good sense can fly out the windowâŠso be careful. As it turned out, the target teacher decided not to take any new students that yearâŠso thank goodness that expensive boat sunk before I got in.
For UG, my Dâs safety and one of the reach schools were the same (IU). She was interested in a BA in theater if she couldnât get an acceptance from an audition program (and possibly a BA Theater at U of MN where she also applied under strict orders from me, our in-state). She would take voice on the side. She had those two acceptances in October I think. And with the automatic academic scholarship at IU, we knew it was affordable. So with those two acceptances âin the bagâ early, it made waiting on the rest easier.
Hope these stories are helpful in some way. Iâm getting over a cold and trying to kill time until the âbell ringsâ at the office.
@bridgenail I completely relate to the lying awake at night with the thought of whether itâs worth spending money on school A over school B. My D has a full tuition in the bag but has been accepted to âbetterâ schools for music with the promise of scholarship but we wonât know the details until the end of the month. In e meantime I have those insomniacal âwhat ifâ thoughts. Itâs so hard, and I have not been able to find a thread that addresses how to make the final decision.
And am I reading that right? Your D was accepted with the scholarship then it was rescinded because the prof decided to take less students? That has been my Ds greatest fear⊠the âoh we changed our mindâ fear. I didnât think that was a thing!!
@NYsaxmom I donât think thatâs a thing. I believe @bridgenailâs D decided against that school/scholarship as she wasnât offered a place in her preferred teacherâs studio.
@NYsaxmom When we were in the decision making stage, I started a thread that had some good discussion about weighing all the factors to make the best choice. It was specific to our situation, but had great advice that really helped clarify things. You can check it here:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/1877028-making-the-wise-choice-p1.html
After that thread, S got accepted off the waitlist with a scholarship at a super-reach school, (on May 2!), which threw me into turmoil and doubt all over again. But he was happily committed to his choice, and having carefully considered all the advice given in that thread, I knew he was right.
Hang in there!
@drummergirl phew!!!
@indeestudios thank you!!!
@indeestudios what a wonderful thread! I wish I had seen it last year!!! @NYsaxmom I encourage you to hang in there⊠I know your D has an AMAZING offer already, but she doesnât have all her admission decisions and Aid offers yet! Itâs really so impossible to imagine (right now) how much things will change when those other offers start rolling in. For us, at this very time last year, we had NO idea how the H-E-double-hockey-sticks to make a decision or where all the money was going to come from. But literally within the space of days came offers and negotiations that made everything so clear! Hang in there just a couple more weeks!
@NYsaxmom - The offer was NEVER rescinded! I donât believe thatâs a âthingâ except in some rare, rare cases (that will never happen to you). She simply picked a different school in the end as she couldnât get the teacher she wanted.
I took a quick look at @indeestudios link and yes it is very good starting place for you. There are two âthingsâ you have to balance and you already now that: money vs fit. Are you going to follow the dollars and give up some on fit? Or follow the fit and give up some on dollars? And are there other opportunities out there that you donât know about yetâŠstill waiting on acceptances/scholarships for example. In the end, you may be able to make that fit and money issue come closer together by studying the schools/programs and potentially visitingâŠas outlined in the link.
I would first try to wrap your head around what you can and canât do financially. Maybe the full tuition scholarship is extremely important, maybe not. What could be done with that found money? Avoid debt which could be really important to her future? Pay for summer programs? Have a nest egg for her after college or help with grad studies? Then you could communicate that honestly to your D so she understands the whole situation.
If there are a few affordable choices (even with tuition and small debt) and all seems reasonable to a parentâŠthen I would let the kid choose based on gut instinctâŠof course you should be a sounding board and in some discussion with themâŠbut the ultimate decision should come from them. Sometimes I think they âknowâ where they belong.
My D chose the low cost safety for grad school. She was worried about the money factorâŠand surprisingly the school had everything she wanted except the prestige. For UG, she did not pick the lowest cost school (although they were almost all within âspitting distanceâ). We felt the teacher and environment were worth the extra cost; and it would not create debt.
So I hope this helps in some way. I think as we get into April, there will be more discussions on this topic.
Edit: And nothing is every perfect (at least in my world). So the idea of giving up a little should feel common, not like youâre the only one! There will always be something at the school that bugs you (or maybe I always have a rock in my shoe like my DâŠlol). I think some people find perfect matches. But not little old meâŠI can always find something to worry aboutâŠ
Itâs so hard to compare apples and oranges (is that the expression?) because sometimes the worth of a particular offer or situation is not clear in the moment. One thing to factor in is whether or not it will be important, for future career purposes, to be located in a particular city. For example, my daughter, a classical instrumentalist, does not want a full-time orchestra job. About half her friends do, half donât. As a freelancer, having contacts and a known reputation in her chosen city is crucial. She turned down an offer of full-tuition plus stipend for an offer in her preferred city for full-tuition plus a fellowship (that meant a lot of work, although enough to live on without needing to take more loans.) There were other factors at play, of course, such as the teachers she would work with, but location was an important factor. If she were going for an orchestra job, the location of the conservatory would not have much mattered. Itâs the same for undergrads (my daughter stayed at the same conservatory for both) but at age 18 students are often not clear on what type of career they will eventually want.
@glassharmonica - yes very true. My Dâs criteria for grad schools was much more defined and more specific to her goals. And like your D, a city landscape for professional networking was very important.
For undergrad, honestly, she was very concerned about the dorms, the bathroom situation, the cafeteriaâŠall the important stuff. But on a serious note, she had watched performances at all schools and did visit a few classes at some schools. There was one LAC (not discussed here and was chosen more for the MT program) where I could tell she felt she was probably better than many of the vocalists in a music class. It was turn off. She only saw an opera and theater production at IU (no classes) but felt inspiredâŠalso Lawrence had an amazing choir production we visited. So that is what I meant by I think kids can feel where they belong and what environment/students inspires them.
And a few years out of undergrad there are maybe three things that stick with her 3.) some great/difficult/informative performance experiences, 2.) her teacher and #1 her friends. She traveled to 3 different cities this year to audition and in every city she had a friendâs apartment to stay at. Sheâs also hosted. They all support each otherâŠand they all can afford apartments (no one lives under a bridge or in parentâs basement)!!
Haha, I am also glad to say that none of my daughterâs friends from undergrad are (as far as I know) living under bridges or in basementsâand itâs great to have friendsâ places to crash in different cities! On a hopeful note, all of my daughtersâ friends are making a living in musicâexcept those who voluntarily left for other professions (law, medicine, business, etc.) No one has a survival job outside of music. This is very different from the situation of D4, who has a theater (acting) degree. She and her friends mostly work survival jobs. Music is a skill that receives real compensation. Of course, many age-peers would probably scoff at the earnings of these musicians, but they are doing what they love.
@bridgenail I relate to a few things. My son who graduated in music last year is gainfully employed in music, has great friends all over the country and plans to drive around part of our great land, staying at various friends places this coming summer.
My daughter who is the HS senior this year and is in the midst of results, did find that one of her schools that has a great reputation did not have the caliber of clarinet player that she expected. In a master class she attended when there, a student played one of the pieces she was playing for auditions and she told me she could play it much better. All part of the decision process!!
YesâŠbeing somewhat of a cynicâŠI have been pleasantly surprised by Dâs âsuccessâ (maybe more of a spiritual success as opposed to monetaryâŠbut sheâs happy and self-supporting). She is now booked through September but will be doing a survival job part-time this summerâŠand maybe longerâŠwho knows. Things are happening in fits and starts for herâŠand she has been gone at YA program so that makes it difficult to audition. But she did travel to and place in a competition recently and won moneyâŠwith her now blue hair. I saw a picture of her and thoughtâŠoh boyâŠbut she did fine. Now she has money to audition in the fall.
Hopefully these sound like âsuccessâ stories to calm nerves about a music degreeâŠas opposed to just talking about my favorite subject: ME!
@bridgenail thanks for making me smile on a long and stressful day!
@bridgenail <3 <3 <3!!!
For us the most generous schools have been Frost and Loyola by a mile. CCPA a close second.
Luther College was the most generous with their offer when I was applying to colleges (and one of only two colleges that I finished the full application for =)) )
@journeytothepast Does Luther have a BM or just a BA music program? I am not seeing obvious degree info on their website. This is somewhat local for us and I know a bunch of people whoâve had a great experience at Luther.