First off, there’s little to no relationship between which expenses you decide to treat as qualified withdrawals and the risk of an IRS notice. They don’t know whether you withdrew the money for books, an expensive computer, or a tiny activity fee.
Second, I think it’s a good idea to file as if one might need to respond to such a notice. Keep good records. Have a good faith basis for what you are claiming. Follow the rules appropriate for the tax benefit you are claiming. That does not mean making up rules or imagining some sort of hierarchy of fees, some legitimate and some not, that contradicts actual IRS guidance. Remember that the IRS needs a basis for disallowing as well, and they don’t look to your imagination for that. They look at their own guidance.
Third, as to some of the fees you claim aren’t legitimate: I think you’re confusing two different things. Tickets to a football game and transportation to and from campus are not QHEEs, sure. But a required athletics fee that funds the athletic department (common at many non-P5 schools) and also provides free or discounted entry to students is. So is a required campus fee or transportation fee that funds a campus shuttle system which happens to include an airport stop (or, more commonly, free or discounted tickets on public transport). Again, rules for education credits are different.
Fourth, I sense, perhaps incorrectly, that you feel claiming some of these fees, beyond what is allowed for the AOTC, for example, somehow goes against the intent of QTPs or is some sort of inappropriate tax avoidance. I disagree with that. I think the text itself is enough to support my position. But ask yourself why, if the goal of these QTPs was to exclude some college expenses and not others (without saying so), the tax code would also allow one to repay college loans up to 10k (and another 10k for a sibling) from a QTP with no restriction at all on how that money was spent.
Fifth, to be clear: if it were up to me, QTPs would not be in the tax code and the savings would be used to expand Pell grants and education credits. But there they are, so I’m going to follow the appropriate rules when I use them.
Finally, hopefully the OP has enough info to contemplate the original question. I’m sure folks are sick of me posting by now so I’m going to go enjoy the rest of the weekend. Happy fourth to all.