Why Caltech is different--an open letter

Colleges and Universities A-Z California Institute of Technology
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<p>The issue of parental notification and suicide prevention on campus is becoming a national issue. See the January 30, 2002 Boston Globe article, “Parents were last to know,” by Globe columnist Eileen McNamara. Ms. McNamara reported that the parents of Elizabeth Shin claimed the university should have told them that their daughter was profoundly depressed. Doing so, the parents claim, could have allowed them to intervene before Ms. Shin killed herself. The following excerpt defines the theme of Ms. McNamara’s article:</p>

<p>“If the 19‑year‑old biology major was as determined to conceal her self‑destructive impulses as MIT contends, why were they so well known on the campus? If hers was so hopeless a case of depression, why wouldn’t Shin’s therapists have sought a last‑ditch alliance with the people who knew her best, her parents? . . . The aspiring geneticist did not want her parents to know how despondent she was in the weeks before she set herself on fire in her dorm room on April 10, 2000. But isn’t a doctor’s first obligation to a patient’s survival, not her confidentiality? Dr. Paul R. McHugh thinks so. ''Privacy isn’t everything; life is everything,” says the former chairman of the department of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was named last week to the President’s Council on Bioethics. “We lock people up, we take their civil liberties away if they are a danger to themselves. But we can’t call the parents? What kind of nonsense is that?”</p>

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<p>“What can a parent do at any school regarding FERPA?” This is from a “Christian Science Monitor” article titled “Privacy vs. Protection”:
"What parents can do</p>

<p>When it comes to finding out about a student’s well-being, there are several things parents can do to penetrate the typical nondisclosure stance of colleges. Jeff Levy, an advocate for more and better parental notification by colleges and universities, recommends:</p>

<p>• Know the reputation of the school. “I thought a party school was where they had a lot of parties,” Mr. Levy says. “Instead, I found out that it means that the school will let students do just about anything without notifying parents.”</p>

<p>• Study crime statistics posted on the US Department of Education website (<a href=“http://ope.ed.gov%5B/url%5D”>http://ope.ed.gov</a> /security/). This site includes a breakdown of drug and alcohol violations. Be aware that schools with more recorded violations are not necessarily bad - but may enforce and report violations better than other schools.</p>

<p>• Know your children more than superficially and keep lines of communication open. Help them understand that you are ready to listen nonjudgmentally to any problem they might encounter. Encourage them to call you with problems.</p>

<p>• If your child just isn’t that communicative, or if you’ve had problems communicating and must use alternate means to find out how a student is faring academically, contact the school. You have a right to see school records if your child is financially dependent as defined by the IRS. Even if he or she is not financially dependent, the law now permits schools to notify parents about alcohol and drug violations. Obtain in writing the school’s promise to notify you of any such violations."</p>

<p>In terms of mental health, have your student sign a waiver to have you notified in a mental health emergency. The thing is, though, that every mental health professional has in writing when he or she takes on a patient that confidentiality ends when the patient is deemed a danger to himself or herself. That my son’s case was not deemed an emergency and that they didn’t think he was a danger to himself is mind-boggling to us.
Our son was a wonderful human being. Kay Redfield Jamison is the head of the Department of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University. She is a diagnosed manic-depressive who almost died from a suicide attempt at age 28. James Taylor was admitted to McLean Hospital in Boston at age 17 for suicidality. Mental illness is treatable. Not everyone who attempts goes on to complete suicide. I don’t know if my son would have gone on to live a full life, if he would have struggled thereafter or if his would have been a terminal mental illness, but IT WAS IMMORAL OF CALTECH not to have done more to try to save his life at that point in time. They deprived us of the chance to help him and to save his life.
Thank you very much for your kind words of consolation and your prayers. They mean so much to me, truly. Just this weekend I read the preface written by C.S. Lewis to his book “The Problem of Pain,” in which he says, “…nor have I anything to offer my readers except my conviction that when pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all.” I am so grateful for the human sympathy you have shown to me.
P.S. You can help in the fight against the stigma of mental illness or against suicide decedents and their loved ones by joining or contributing to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. They fund research in better treatments for mental illness, in the search for a possible cure, and provide excellent suicide survivor support, outreach, and education.</p>

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<p>@WeAreFive</p>

<p>Let me say that many of the quarrels you have with the system at Caltech may well be resolved soon. Roof access and tunnel access are pretty much dismissible offenses now. The hazing policy is being (heavily) reviewed. Essentially, the vast majority of student life is being reviewed at the moment. Lots of drama on campus.</p>

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<p>originalthought, Your honesty is refreshing. It means so much to me and brings me a modicum of peace to know that they are beginning to use some common sense for the sake of the well-being of their students. Means deterrence is a proven method of preventing suicides even though it is often highly contentious. The denizens of San Francisco, who routinely bring referendums to make pets citizens, had in the past refused to pass or fund suicide barriers on the Golden Gate Bridge, citing aesthetic concerns. Many people howled in protest over Cornell’s erecting higher barricades on the bridges over their gorges in the wake of a tragic cluster of deaths in 2010. I am happy to report that the Golden Gate Bridge will have state-of-the art suicide nets pending further funding and Cornell did indeed install higher barriers on their bridges and have foot patrols during study and exam weeks on the bridges over the gorges. I can well imagine that many Caltech students will be quite unhappy with these changes, but I think young people have to realize that college campuses are in some cases becoming places where the rule of law on-campus is radically different from off-campus. While many may feel entitled to “blow off steam” because they are in a high pressure environment and work so hard, it is never an excuse to engage in unlawful, cruel, or life-threatening behavior. No, I don’t want to return to the days of “in loco parentis” with its often overly strict and paternalistic control over students, but I believe strongly that the pendulum has swung entirely too far from those days, and it is my hope that it will swing back to a place in which students can blow off steam but experience firm consequences if they transgress the rule of law on which this society was founded. It is my strong hope, too, that parents be seen by college administrators and counselors as allies when a physical or mental health emergency happens on campus and be brought in to consult with professionals trained in best practices to come to a solution that is best for the student. The energy and risk-taking inherent in being young is absolutely needed in society (see also recent “National Geographic” article on the teen brain and the evolutionary benefits of this risk-taking.), but we must use common sense and set parameters for channeling this energy to life-sustaining or paradigm-shattering activities. Yes, the risks young people undertake may lead to some deaths, but each preventable death represents an inestimable toll on society and, believe me, a death by suicide that in my heart I know was 100% preventable in my son’s case is the most tragic death of all. Thank you again so much and stay the course of common sense, Caltech! And you, too, originalthought! Have your voice be heard on campus peacefully and logically. I’ll be thinking of you and everyone on campus. I hope and trust that these measures will save lives. Life is still plenty fine without partying on rooftops, hazing rituals, and binge drinking. Believe me, you will die happy without experiencing any of these things, but you won’t die happy if a friend commits suicide because your campus didn’t install means deterrents or dies from alcohol intoxication. You will live with the trauma for the rest of your life.</p>

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<p>[Caring</a> Community Roundtable: Means Do Matter](<a href=“http://www.cornell.edu/video/?videoID=1180&startSecs=0&endSecs=1852]Caring”>http://www.cornell.edu/video/?videoID=1180&startSecs=0&endSecs=1852)</p>

<p>“Most people who attempt suicide live out a normal life.” (over 95%)</p>

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<p>I’ll provide a summary in case someone is joining in now:
WeAreFive’s son committed suicide earlier this year and WeAreFive puts most of the blame on the school. I think everyone at Caltech feels extreme frustration at some point during their time at Caltech, although my impression is that it’s usually for academic reasons. I know there are times when I called my parents because I wanted to talk to them for support during my difficult times; we are left wondering after all these pages why WeAreFive’s son didn’t feel comfortable talking to his parents. WeAreFive notes that the school has no legal obligation to notify the parents. The house traditions can come off as extreme (you’ll see my displeasure in my posts from fall of 2004 on this forum), but they have been severely restricted recently, possibly as a consequence of WeAreFive’s lawsuit against the school.</p>

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<p>Fact correction: The suicide was in 2009.</p>

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<p>Plenty of people who commit suicide do not want their loved ones to know. They are either ashamed or, as one person who attempted and survived said, “It was personal.” Many males feel that they are not being manly because they can’t seem to solve their problems and their despair. My son’s hopelessness lay in the fact that he thought something was wrong with him and that he didn’t belong in the world and that the latest break-up with a girl meant a woman would never love him: he was deeply depressed. Most people are ambivalent about dying. When he attempted on the roof of a Caltech building and reported it the next day, he reported in his diary that he was ambivalent, and that would have been the time to act, but the counselors did not. My son and I tweeted virtually every day, along with his little sister from time to time. He told me about the break-up; both of us, his parents, offered strongly to come out and stay unobtrusively for as long as he wanted. He said no. He said in his diary from the days when he was severely bullied in middle school that he did not have a large body, but he would build his mind, I think to defend himself against further humiliation, and he was determined, and did, go forward after those attacks, to pick himself up and go forward despite the obstacles. Friends of his will tell you that he tried to solve academic problems when others had given up. I think sometimes smart people think they can outwit mental illness, or they are young and they don’t realize why they are feeling the way they are. But a depression that is severe enough is life-threatening and nothing but medication and therapy can save a person when they are in that deep. The people in authority at Caltech should have called us, webhappy. Maybe you should go ask them now, or ask yourself, “Wouldn’t it have been a heck of a lot easier to have picked up the phone and called his parents or for anyone who knew to have called 911?” And here is what Kay Redfield Jamison says about her own suicide attempt and the thoughts that preceded it: “…I had tried years earlier to kill myself, and nearly died in the attempt, but did not consider it either a selfish or a not-selfish thing to have done. It was simply the end of what I could bear, the last afternoon of having to imagine waking up the next morning only to start all over again with a thick mind and black imaginings. It was the final outcome of a bad disease, a disease it seemed to me I would never get the better of. No amount of love from or for other people–and there was a lot–could help. No advantage of a caring family and fabulous job was enough to overcome the pain and hopelessness I felt; no passionate or romantic love, however strong, could make a difference. Nothing alive and warm could make its way in through my carapace.” Do you know what my son said in his suicide note to us and the rest of his family? He said that he was really going to miss us, he told my husband and I that he loved us and that we had been good parents and I a “wonderful mother.” They should have called us. It would have saved my son’s life. They were wrong, and they know it.</p>

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<p>And I said they met the legal standard because the law, except in “Ferrum v. Schieszler” in Virginia holds the suicide decedent responsible. In the “MIT v. Shin” case, several prominent universities signed on to an amicus brief because colleges do not want to be held responsible when students commit suicide on their campuses. FERPA allows them to call in an emergency, but Caltech did not. Why??? Ask them, pls. I’d love to know. My son couldn’t have sued them if they had called, so why didn’t they? I said that they failed a moral obligation to us and to our son. I wish I could make it legal for colleges to call parents in when a student attempts on campus: It would save a lot of lives. I tried to save lives by bringing a case against them: It cried out for litigation. Plenty of therapists have been sued when there was a known and imminent threat of suicide and they didn’t notify authorities. The California Board of Psychology reviewers called their actions “morally repugnant.” Their words, not mine, webhappy. If it’s such a small school, why don’t you feel comfortable enough with your deans and administrators to ask them about the case and why they didn’t call? Hmmmm?</p>

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<p>And other colleges do notify parents, for drug and alcohol and mental health issues, but Caltech chooses not to. I have written here because I want other parents to know that this is the school’s position. I have a right and an obligation to speak out and parents have a right to know this.</p>

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<p>I’d like to say a few things in reference to the discussion happening over the last few pages. I am a current Caltech student. I came to Caltech after the suicides, and from all I have heard, Caltech has changed a lot from them. </p>

<p>I don’t know how Caltech is with mental health issues. I know that we have a lot of people in place who are supposed to be helpful. Among the students, they are not known for being particularly great, but that might be partly because we don’t like to go to them. We have the RAs (grad students who live in the houses. A good RA is definitely the most effective mental health tool we have). The RAs stay in the same house for a few years. They recently increased the number of RAs per house, it used to be one. I think the RAs in my house this year are very effective. We now have the ACs (Area coordinators), there is one for the south houses, one for the north houses, and one for off-campus. The north house one is known to be terrible, and the south house one is excellent. I know nothing about the other. We then have the Deans and the mental health center. Unfortunately, excellent mental health professionals seem to not work at our center. I don’t know why. I certainly haven’t found them useful in the slightest, although I have talked to them. I’m told by a close friend struggling with mental health problems at MIT that theirs is, if anything, even worse. I think in either place, going to a therapist off campus is probably best. Caltech is very worried about depression and suicide now, but I’m not sure that the changes they are making are very helpful. Maybe. </p>

<p>I’ll say somethings from the perspective as a woman at Caltech. This place is really an excellent place to be female! No, I’m not talking about the dating pool (which isn’t that great, because Tech is just too small to have a great dating pool). I’m talking about being treated like a person. Tech guys know that Tech ladies can do science and math. They sometimes awkwardly hit on them. That’s about the worst I’ve seen the guys do. I get very creepily hit on around LA, but at Tech I don’t. At Tech, I might occasionally get asked out by a hilariously nervous guy. The only place I’ve ever found that feels even safer for girls is an all women’s institution. </p>

<p>I’m going to say right now, I adore my house. I won’t get into the details, but my house is definitely the best support network that I have. I’ve never felt pressured into anything. I mostly feel like I have a family that will always make sure I’m okay. My house makes me feel like I might survive Tech. Caltech’s suicide rate, before the spat in 2009, was easily lower than national average. I think the house system is what kept it as low as it was. </p>

<p>The academics are intense. I knew they were hard, but I had no idea how hard. I’ve failed classes. I’ve wanted to transfer schools, but I cannot, because my grades are too low. If you truly love math and science, and you think it’s better than sleeping or socializing or gaming, you are perfect for Tech! But if you aren’t so sure, and you like to have more freedom, and sometimes things are hard for you… While there are people like that who come here and are happy, we don’t have a great graduation rate, and that’s why. I was in this group of people. I regret my choice. I’d say that unless Tech is your only choice, only come here if you want to devote your everything to math and science. </p>

<p>Don’t come here if you just want to go to a random good school. Don’t come here if you want any free time. Don’t come here if you aren’t willing to be pushed beyond your limits. Everyone is. I had a class last year that, at various points, had everyone in my house and year in tears during several assignments. We’re talking that hard. The worst part? Those are your mandatory classes. Seriously, don’t come here unless you really mean it. If you are uncertain, go elsewhere. It’s a great place for some people, but those people are generally the ones who have dreamed of coming here. It’s not for the ones going “huh. I guess I’ll try that one”. </p>

<p>Also, the current Dean seems to want to disband the houses. Should they ever do that, I’d be unable to recommend Tech to anyone. I don’t think many of us could get through this workload without our house there for support. I certainly couldn’t.</p>

<p>Errmmm… Sorry for writing something so long…</p>

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<p>“going to a therapist off campus is probably best” Kay Redfield Jamison, who wrote “Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide” advises students who go to any college, and their parents, to research the area’s psychiatrists and mental health services and to make a list to have on hand. You may never need it, she says, but it is a very good idea to have it just in case.
It is the case that the quality of mental health services on college campuses nation-wide really varies. Even with an off-campus psychiatrist or counselor, if you don’t have a good fit, keep on trying or searching until you find a good fit, and never give up trying to improve the way you feel mentally. The odds are in your favor that some therapy or mental health professional or medication will help eventually. The problem with mental illness is that you may not realize it is getting worse until you are in a serious episode.
This was a candid and refreshing view of your experience at Caltech and the positive aspects of the house system. But that the house system is your only refuge from the storm that seems to be your academic life at Caltech, when that system is the only housing option, other than off-campus, and that that system also involves frat-like activities that many people find uncomfortable, doesn’t sound healthy to me.
I’m also glad you gave another perspective of how you feel as a female there. But…permit me to say that I’m concerned about you. Why do you say you can’t transfer? Sometimes I think our generation of parents has raised kids who are so geared for success and getting into the most elite universities that we lose sight of the fact that there are other options out there. I would just advise you, if you’ll give me that honor, that nothing is worth your mental health, and if you are miserable there academically and getting sick, look into transferring. I used to tell my son that a “bad grade” at Caltech is not a bad grade elsewhere. That you got into Caltech means that I’m sure many, many other fine universities would welcome you with open arms. Pls don’t sacrifice your mental health–or your life–to this institution. Pls feel free to private message me if you feel comfortable reaching out to me. I am not a Caltech hater. I want their students to be happier and safer. I am glad you spoke out about the house system and how you feel supported by it. I know my son loved his house, too, but as a parent who lost that son and who investigated the school intensively (as their lawyers investigated me and my family), I needed to bring up issues on this forum for parents to be aware of what they were getting their offspring into if they sent them to Caltech. Pls take advantage of off-campus counseling in order to work through the possibility of transferring or another path for yourself right now? Your suffering is coming through in your post and I am concerned.</p>

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<p>celesul, Just want to say that your story about when your house and year were in tears over some assignments reminds me of when my son used to tell me during his sophomore year about a visiting prof at Caltech whose lectures were completely incoherent and who had his own esoteric math agenda–in a basic, core class that could not be graded pass/fail. I remember him home on break and he said to me, “Mom, there are freshmen in that class, and they’re really struggling.” I listened and we talked and he decided when he went back to school to work through an ombudsman at the school to raise these issues. He succeeded in convincing the deans to make the class pass/fail. That’s the kind of guy he was, celesul. I’ll bet if he were in your house, he’d be trying his best to solve those problems, too…this is the kind of person we lost when we lost him.</p>

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<p>Wearefive,</p>

<p>I think celesul said she couldn’t transfer because her grades are too low.</p>

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<p>And I’m saying how does she know that they are too low for another school? Or for there to be another option?
Of course, if she is receiving support from her housemates and can tough it out, great. But the stress she describes is not good for anybody’s mental health, and I hope she or the support system set up at Caltech won’t let her spiral down too far. That’s what a mental illness does, btw: It gives one tunnel vision, in its terminal stages so narrow that one sees no way out but a permanent solution. Of course, I hope also she will talk to her parents so they might give her a boost or offer some solutions if she is so unhappy. My best wishes to her.
Also see: “The Hidden Link between Adrenaline and Stress” by Dr. Archibald D. Hart.</p>

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<p>At a certain point, low grades are going to prevent transfers. I’m pretty sure I’m at that point. To be fair, there exist colleges that will take anyone, but unless Tech completely doesn’t work out, I’d prefer to stay here. I have friends here, and I don’t make them that easily. If I went to a place where I couldn’t relate to people, I’d have different problems, but probably about as bad. Tech is home, even if I sometimes wish it wasn’t. </p>

<p>The class that caused the problem ended up with an interesting curve as a result. It didn’t take many points to get a decent grade. Most of those who got upset ended up with fine grads. </p>

<p>I do receive support from the house, and in the case of a problem, I’d go to the RAs. The RAs and the south house AC are good. I actually currently live off campus, but I’m still around the house a lot. Also, my house is one of the less frat-like ones. There is only a little alcohol, and no events that could be construed as hazing. There is certainly no social pressure to drink. Everything in my house is explicitly opt-in, and people will stop doing something near you that makes you uncomfortable if you request them to stop. </p>

<p>And yes, I’m perfectly comfortable talking to my mom about any issues. Also, most of my friends have actually met my mom, and if I seemed mentally unstable, I suspect that they would find a way of contacting my mom if I didn’t.</p>

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<p>I’m so glad to hear this positive message and about the strong support network you have there at Tech. I’m wishing you all the best. Does Tech offer yoga classes or meditation? Because, apart from your strong community of friends, those activities are proven stress relievers. Just a suggestion…Take care!</p>

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<p>[Additional</a> Stress Reduction and Prevention Resources - Stress Reduction and Management](<a href=“http://www.gulfbend.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=15688&cn=117]Additional”>http://www.gulfbend.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=15688&cn=117)</p>

<p>Comprehensive list of stress reduction techniques and more resources.</p>

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<p>@WeAreFive,
thanks for sharing your stories. as a female considering Caltech, they were surprising and informative.
i’m so sorry about your son. thanks for speaking out and for your courage</p>

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<p>@WeAreFive
You asked previously if there were any yoga classes at Caltech. Well, there used to be, but due to a new athletic director, all the PE classes are currently under review and those deemed ‘not athletic’ enough will either be cut or won’t be offered for credit (to my understanding).</p>

<p>On another topic, as there seems to be a lot of questions about being a female at Caltech, a couple of us (females!) have decided to make a thread and answer any questions about being a female at Caltech and any general questions about Caltech. You can find the thread here: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/california-institute-technology/1249040-anyone-have-questions-females-caltech.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/california-institute-technology/1249040-anyone-have-questions-females-caltech.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>We hope to be helpful to everyone! :)</p>