I know that my GPA is a bit low but my friend got into the school of engineering with the same GPA so I guess it might have been either my extra curricular or my essays that were bad. I applied for M&T and then if I didn’t get in, consider me for School of Engineering ED. my chances of getting into M&T was never that high but was a reach but was hoping of getting into engineering. Thanks for taking the time to look over it!
My Stats:
4.0 Weighted GPA, 3.6 Unweighted, 1520 SAT, 790 Math, and 720 Physics
Your essays seem very “one Dimensional” . Other than the fact that you fell in love with programming in 7th grade and love Robotics, and all you want to do at Penn is Robotics. You can almost do Robotics anywhere. Also, there are grammatical nuances in your essay that make it less professional. (stoked), (left my team due to certain circumstances, but you dont elaborate, which leads the reader to think, would you drop other things)
Sorry if this seems harsh. I just think there were much better essays.
You didn’t get in because they have 10 applications for every spot. Don’t try to figure it out because you’ll never come up with an answer (there isn’t one).
Figure out your next step. Complete the other applications.
Both essays start out well enough, but then give the impression that you want to go to Penn to join clubs and teams. Will you get involved in the life of the school apart from robotics? The second essay repeats some of the ideas from the first. The problem with posting your essays is that then others may steal them and submit them as their own. Maybe you could contact a moderator and get them removed.
You are a talented student and are likely to have great opportunities this year.
Hi! Thanks for the reply and yeah now after posting, I’ve started to realise that my essays for these two topics were really weak and it was right for my friend to get in instead of me. And how would one contact a moderator?
Yeah after I posted and went back to re-read the essays after calming down a little, I realized these two essays are really bad and that I should’ve worked harder or at least asked my teachers to revise it a few more times before I submitted or even found this sight to help me build up an amazing essay. Penn is still my dream school and I guess there is still a chance for me to get in next year by transferring, I hope you and others will help me through this process next year so that I will hopefully be able to transfer in! Thank you for your reply!
Maybe one of the wonderful moderators can delete the essays @skieurope?
Also don’t second guess. A good friend of mines son was livid when he got rejected from Princeton
He was like the returning debate champion in the US… But all his activities and such were all debate. Very one dimensional. 4 years later he’s a very happy camper at University of Chicago…
Move on… There will be more rejections coming. But I am sure acceptances also.
BTW - isn’t it a lower GPA for Princeton? 2.6% get accepted with that GPA. Not great odds for anyone.
Hi there! I know you said you’ve already re-read and re-considered your essays, but nonetheless, I did want to give my specific feedback in case it’s applicable for RD. (and for whoever else happens to read this forum in the future)
For essay #1: Penn is looking for why you’re interested in your specific major, and why Penn will allow you to pursue it fully. You do have one clear thing that you’re interested in, which is a good thing, but your essay reads off as a resume of sorts: “I did this. Then I did this.” You did things, that’s great, but where were the defining moments that made this path so meaningful to you? What, specifically, about the school makes it such a good fit for you? The crux of the essay is not your interest, but rather how you will explore it. You’ll need more than one example of a club to make a “Why” essay effective. What about class offerings? Characteristics about the school, like Penn’s more liberal arts focus?
For essay #2: Kind of parrots off of the first essay. This should be about community, not about academics. Anything academic should go in the first essay and these two essays need to be distinct.
I wish you the best of luck in RD for wherever you apply!
“…at least asked my teachers to revise it a few more times”
Umm, no. You revise your own work.
You should know enough about a tippy top “dream” to ask yourself, “They would want me because…” What do you think makes you especially competitive?
And even with a Why Us or Why this Major, the idea is to “show, not just tell.” They want to find the traits they value. Not just an explanation. (Nor mostly about middle school.)
One main focus can actually be risky, when they look for broad(er) curiosity, wider application of your skills and experiences.
Review your apps for other colleges, see what your match might be, be sure it shows. Be willing to tweak. Or find your own best matches and safeties.