My kid is OOS - UMN-TC and we’re from Virginia. He is a solid student. He was not elite. He got sufficient merit aid to make it close enough.
Here are some reasons I thought were valid for going out of state:
a) every school is different. We really like the way Minnesota runs their engineering program. Not all are the same.
b) my son truly didn’t want to spend 4 years in Appalachia. He wanted a city school.
c) my son probably wouldn’t have gotten into the program of his choice at VT, and they have a reputation for weeding people out. Who wants that?
d) my son didn’t like high school very much and wanted to close the door on that.
e) not every school is good in all things. maybe the OOS one is better in something important to her, or maybe “worse” so that the subject is accessible to her.
f) my kid plays an odd club sport (not at college) and it is available in Minnesota. It is not available in Blacksburg or Charlottesville.
g) we like the Midwest.
h) maybe your kid has a better chance of getting into the OOS one than your own home flagship?
It seems odd to stop your kid from striving or dreaming. Sure, don’t apply to too many reaches because it is a waste of money. And yeah, have real talks about family budget. But there’s no reason not to look at those big state schools - not just the famous ones, but one notch down. They offer a good product and may be the right choice.