Hi fellow high schoolers. I’m wrapping up my sophomore year of high school and so far it has been a compelling experience. However, one thing that has bothered me so far are clubs. My school consists of an abundance of cooperative, intelligent and thoughtful people which has really helped me get out of my comfort zone and frequently socialize with others. During my freshman year, I participated in marching band. While it was fun to make friends with other upperclassmen and meeting new people, the band directors were extremely selfish and undermined my abilities. After some deliberation, I decided to quit and it’s a good thing I did because it got a whole lot worse afterwards. Moreover, my sophomore was much better as I had significantly more leisure time; I had joined a new dance club that was also a lot of fun. Unfortunately due to a tragic cancer outbreak of a family member, I had to take leave in early October. The PSAT was coming up anyways so I had good reasons for my absence. Subsequently, in the months ahead I didn’t go to practice, there was more to blame because the family member that I nurtured went to my aunt to recieve adequate medical treatment. Starting from January until now I had to focus on school work, but I got slightly depressed; my dance comrades had won and gone to dance competitions and I wasn’t there to be a part of it. They started to glare and alienate me as we were passing in the halls, luckily my friends were there to cope with the anxiety tension. I went to practice one day and confessed to the very few who actually said hi and asked me why I was gone. As you would expect all of them felt sympathetic while the other half pretended I was invisible despite their direct eye contact (guess I would call those people “comrades” anymore). But after my confessions never returned again…I’m pretty sure they assumed that I abandoned them and I quit but I love to dance in front of other people and I haven’t made up my mind whether or not I should return anonymously or just focus on school. In case you need a glimpse of who I am and what my goals and aspirations are: I’m a impassioned, friendly and hardworking person who deeply cares about academics. As you might already know from my previous posts, I have a 3.625 GPA and plan to do something science related (probably the medical field) in college. Will this affect my reputation in my school or my chances at a good college?
So much drama… In general, you should find at least a couple of ECs this fall and stick with them going forward. It diesnZmt have to be dance. Maybe pick something STEM related (does your school have a robotics team?). Maybe ask your GC to mention in your college apps that a family member’s illness affected your ECs junior year.
None of us can really determine if you have a chance for a “good college” (what is a good college to you?) with just your GPA (weighted or non-weighted?) and a few descriptions of your life and personality. You seem obsessed with how the dance team/club thinks of you. If you really can’t get back in, stop thinking about it and do something about dance on your own. You can join an out-of-school dance team. I would generally agree with intparent’s advice; if you plan to major in a science field, start getting EC’s related to science under your belt.
Now, this sounds harsh, but in college, even if a family member dies, sometimes the professor WILL NOT care. My physics tutor’s mother died while he was in college, and one of his profs still failed him for the class. It may not happen to you, but be aware that sometimes people can be like that.
A final question: what do you mean by returning anonymously? Real life has no anonymity.
@SomedayIwill @intparent Hi, thanks for the advice so far. What I mean by “returning anonymously” is showing up to practice one day and pretending I will slowly fit in as if nothing happens but when I think about it I’m skeptical about that thought. Although I do love to dance as a hobby, I don’t plan on it being my top priority anytime soon and if I were to do this it would probably be a repeat of what happened this year; if people in that club sincerely care about my availability all of them would have asked me why I was there and show some empathy and respect. The reason I’m “so obsessed” about this issue is not only college-wise it’s because I told my aunt that I had joined a dance club and she wanted to see me perform. I told her to come to the homecoming pep rally in October of this year. Unfortunately, I don’t get to see my aunt often and she doesn’t have the time to properly know me so inviting her I thought it might make her proud. In short, I feared that my quitting I might ultimately disappoint her and this might affect her impression of me. In my future, I might just quit it completely or join a dance club/team outside of school depending on how busy I am. In response to what you said SomedayIwill, I won’t and never expect others to sympathize for me ESPECIALLY my teachers and future professors. Indeed, it’s devastating to have lose someone you sincerely love for a significant portion of your life but it’s apart of life. You have to be strong enough to accept it and move on, despite how painful it might be. In addition, I do plan on doing science and volunteer related activities junior year I will be joining HOSA, Beta Club and maybe even NHS (if I get in which I’m certain I will). I also plan on doing a extremely competitive college course that offers young people go experience and shadow people with medical careers in a nearby hospital. My mom has been a dialysis technician for ten years and as a child I have watched her care and nurture people during work, I have also watched my aunts and uncles with other medical professions treat others. I’m serious when I say I want to pursue the medical career, I not approaching it like any naive person would. As a side note, yes that’s my unweighted GPA but it’s not updated it will change when they anounce my new one in June.
Still too much drama… just tell your aunt you quit, and find some activities you can stick to without all the fuss.
You seem to be deflecting and projecting blame and spending excessive time soliciting support for your decisions. I would guess the members of the various clubs and groups are focused on themselves (their own achievements, responsibilities, etc) rather than on your comings and goings and perhaps you are interpreting that in a negative way. Regardless, focus on what you want to be involved in, try to contribute in a positive way, be responsible about conveying when you can’t attend or when you can’t follow through on a commitment (regardless of why) and focus on doing things you think are positive. Colleges seek students who are adept socially and who contribute in a positive way to the school’ social climate.
@lostaccount Yes you clearly identified my weakness. I’m still young and rely on other people to implore or reinforce my decisions. During the phase of all this mishap, I believe I lost some of my self-confidence. I’ll continue to do to my best to add to my school in a positive way to impress colleges and improve my reputation.
If you want to do something medical, why not put all your free time into something related to that? You could get a job/volunteer at your local Red Cross or your local hospital–that way, you’re getting great volunteer hours, and you’re getting experience in the field you might major in, AND none of your “friends” will be there to judge you. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
If you’re truly passionate about dance, a few snobby people shouldnt get in the way of you doing what you wanna do. If the dance club is affiliated with your school, perhaps join a club dance team in your community where your school friends won’t be involved in. If your “friends” weren’t sympathetic about your situation then they weren’t very good friends anyway, and it’s probably best to exclude them from your life. However, If you’re passionate about it, DONT GIVE IT UP! You don’t want to look back in a year or two and regret the things you didn’t do. Or, if you really don’t want to go back, simply just join another sport.
Regardless of what you decide to do, focusing on academia and STEM related ECs are a MUST. try and raise your gpa as much as possible, take AP/Honors, and start doing something in your free time related to medical. Shadowing doctors/nurses look really good on applications, as well as volunteering like I said earlier. Good luck!
BACK TO THE DANCE ISSUE:
First of all, you need to stop assuming that people won’t change or they’re angry at you all the time. Rejoin that club, because you can’t change everyone’s opinion in a single practice. Those club members were friends with you in the first place before quitting, and there was a reason for that. Not everyone will hear or listen the first time they talk to you again. You had a nice community there, and although you feel awkward about rejoining, I think that it will be fine after a while. There’s a difference between people bullying you and people simply ignoring you. Many are probably reluctant to open up to you at first, but after a while it’ll be back to how it was.
EVERYTHING ELSE:
Find clubs that you like and commit to them. If you look at your original post, you had the question, a few sentences about clubs, and then dance club drama. Don’t quit clubs to focus on school, because that usually backfires. The difference in how you perform while you’re in a club and while you’re out of it will likely stay the same, and if you find clubs you like, they’ll act as good stress relievers or even fun opportunities to learn outside of school.
I have no idea where people get the idea that shadowing doctors is helpful to their applications. I mean, if you want to be in medicine, do it so you have an idea what the job is really like. Great! But you are doing nothing but showing up, following them around, and asking questions. You aren’t helping people, building something, moving anything forward. It is nice, but it does not mean a speck in the process of admissions as an EC. I am not saying you shouldn’t do it, or not to mention it in your app. But it carries so little weight compared to ECs with depth and commitment.