<p>Last night, my roommate came back to our room completely ****faced. She kept me up half the night because I need to make sure she was alright and wasn't going to puke all over the floor or that she hadn't cracked her skull when she launched herself off the bed.</p>
<p>I want to talk to my RA about this because I'm not sure what to do about this. I really don't want to have to deal with a roommate that is constantly coming back to the room late and drunk. I don't drink, I don't really party, and this is really not a good situation for me. However, my university has a policy against underage drinking, and I'm worried that if I talk to my RA about the situation, she'll have to report my roommate. </p>
<p>My roommate did apologize for what happened, but she's out again tonight, and I'm still worried tonight is just going to be a repeat.</p>
<p>What should I do? Should I talk to my RA? Will my RA have to report her for drinking if I tell her what happened?</p>
<p>Maybe you should talk to your roommate again first. Tell her you are reluctant to talk to the RA, but you feel concerned about her safety. And also your own need for sleep and not having to worry about her. See what she says… if she is non committal about it, and keeps this behavior up, then definitely keep the RA in the loop. Honestly, the RA will probably talk to the roommate as well if you go to her again. But you should not need to lose sleep over this, but also don’t want to take the risk of something happening.</p>
<p>The other reason you want to keep your RA in the loop is because if it keeps up you should request a room change. And if the RA goes to bat for you, you probably will get to do it. At least at the semester change when some students go off to study abroad and housing shifts around some, and maybe sooner. I think good RAs know the score in roommate problem situations, and know which one is causing the problem if there is a mismatch. So you don’t want to run to the RA with every little thing, but a brief comment if your roommate is behaving in a way that seems unsafe and you are having to watch over her is appropriate.</p>
<p>Also, honestly, in my experience most colleges are pretty lax about alcohol enforcement unless someone ends up in the hospital. They have this line about wanting students to trust them and not hide behavior, so they kind of let some of it slide. I suppose a few colleges don’t, but a surprising number do in spite of the legal drinking age and supposed “campus rules”.</p>
<p>Why would you take care of someone else just because they’re drunk anyway? Go to sleep. If she pukes, make her clean it up in the morning. I wouldn’t be playing that game.</p>
<p>I do think your roommate has a right to come back to the room as late as she cares to, as long as she’s considerate when she comes in late. But coming in so intoxicated that you feel the need to look out for her welfare is highly inconsiderate.</p>
<p>If it happens twice in two nights, you have to do something. Here’s what I’d advise my own daughter to do.</p>
<p>If she comes back drunk again tonight, you don’t have to make it your job to take care of her. Tomorrow, tell her honestly that if you have to deal with a roommate who is–you said it well–constantly coming back to the room late and drunk, you’re going to have a problem with that situation. Tell her, it’s not personal, and it’s not about her, but you prefer not to spend the year that way. Ask her if she thinks that means one of you needs to move. (IMO, you could tell her this as early tomorrow morning as you want to, but that might be considered mean.)</p>
<p>If she comes home sloppy drunk a third time, talk to your RA. It’ll be the only way you can get out of this rooming situation–which you’ll need to do.</p>
<p>It’s quite possible that the RA will have to refer her to the student health center for substance-abuse counseling. That’s not your problem. If she’s drinking this much, she should have the counseling. She may not pay any attention to it, but she should have it.</p>
<p>The important elements of this plan are these:</p>
<ol>
<li> You talk to your roommate before you talk to the RA.</li>
<li> You don’t blame or criticize the roommate. You just say that this isn’t going to work for you, and ask whether that means the rooming situation will need to change.</li>
<li> You don’t make it your job to cover for her. That’s not your responsibility.</li>
<li> You don’t let her make you live in a way you’re not comfortable living. That *is *your responsibility–to yourself.</li>
</ol>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>(x-post with intparent and maniac)</p>
<p>Well… first I would give your roommate a little time and if it happens again talk to her a little bit more… if your roommate continues to ignore you that’s when you should go to the RA. I’m sure she’s not gonna get wasted every single night… Have classes begun yet? She’ll probably settle down soon. </p>
<p>If your RA is cool they likely won’t report her but give her a stern talking to and threaten it. But you really don’t want that to happen as it will cause problems between the two of you. Better to deal with it without involving the RA. </p>
<p>If your roommate continues to do this, despite your complaints, threaten that the next time it happens you don’t want to but you will have to talk to the RA. Definitely don’t talk to the RA behind your roommates back unless you can get the RA to handle the matter in a way that doesn’t implicate you (like noise violation or something…). </p>
<p>Basically only go to the RA as a last resort…but don’t hesitate to do it either if she won’t listen and it is affecting your studies!</p>
<p>At my school, at least, I believe RA’s have to report underage drinking if you make it painfully obvious to them. I would talk to your roommate first. She would probably reconsider and perhaps even crash at one of her friends’ places if she really needs to go out frequently. Either way, I think it’d be best for you two to have a talk before throwing her under the bus.</p>
<p>Definitely what Sikorsky said… I mean honestly… if someone is getting that drunk 2 or especially 3 nights in a row… that’s not just annoying that’s honestly a serious drinking problem. I had some crazy roommates who went to wild frat parties in college but that was a once a week occurance… and even then I thought it was a little much…twice or more is nuts.</p>
<p>“Definitely what Sikorsky said… I mean honestly… if someone is getting that drunk 2 or especially 3 nights in a row… that’s not just annoying that’s honestly a serious drinking problem. I had some crazy roommates who went to wild frat parties in college but that was a once a week occurance… and even then I thought it was a little much…twice or more is nuts.”</p>
<p>Maybe, but it’s probably still welcome week at OP’s school. I go out and drink every night during welcome week, and so do all of my friends, but after classes start things change and I’ll maybe go out 2-3 times a month.</p>
<p>So maybe give her a few weeks to see if this is a long-term thing, or if she’s just getting it all out of her system before classes start.</p>
<p>I disagree. If you are being made unhappy or uncomfortable, speak up sooner rather than later. </p>
<p>You have much more right to a satisfactory living arrangement than your roommate has to get trashed every night.</p>
<p>^^What they said. Especially if she’s underage. I can’t stand adults who drink irresponsibly, much less children.</p>
<p>definitely talk to her before an RA. You could break that fragile line of trust and you will be living with her for a good amount of time. If the behavior continues, then yes, tell the RA since her disturbance is affecting you too.</p>
<p>Talk to your roommate again about this and if she repeats the same then tell ur RA about it…</p>
<p>agree^^^ be more than honest</p>
<p>First off I think it is admirable that you looked after her, beings that most people in your situation wouldn’t care. In regards to reporting her I think you should talk to her and make it clear that you don’t condone what she is doing and don’t want to be surrounded by that. Make it clear that you don’t want to go to your RA but you will if you have too. Try to lay some rules such as: if she is going to be intoxicated stay with a friend elsewhere. If she still didn’t get it I think you’ll have to report her.</p>
<p>I would wait a few more days and see if it keeps happening. I’m assuming you’ve just moved in, right? Then she is probably getting used to all the social aspects of college, including drinking, and it will probably die down once classes start. </p>
<p>Honestly, don’t report her to the RA right away. Do you want to be a snitch? I’m sorry, but unless she’s over the top drunk, she’s probably going to be fine. Unless this starts happening ALL the time, I wouldn’t worry. However, feel free to talk to your roommate and mention that you’re not getting enough sleep, etc. it is your room too!</p>
<p>Welcome to University, you’ve just had a small taste of the real world, which is a main point of University. I suspect that you will change roommates, find a like kind student and never really complete your education.</p>
<p>Because looking after your drunk, puking roommate is an essential part of one’s education?</p>
<p>No, but learning to live with other people is! It seems like it’s only been a few days. Give your judgment some time to form before you throw her under the bus. </p>
<p>Part of going to college is interacting with people with many different backgrounds. However, if she does continue to do this, I’d probably have a conversation with her.</p>
<p>"Because looking after your drunk, puking roommate is an essential part of one’s education? "</p>
<p>Obviously! If you show up to work drunk, there’s no negative consequences. As a matter of fact, everyone stops what they’re doing and looks after you.</p>
<p>As is often the case, Sikorsky (titmouse in Polish. 
) is 10,000 % correct.</p>
<p>These situations are not that complicated.
Unpleasant, but not complicated.</p>
<p>Be direct. Be honest. Say what you mean. And mean what you say.</p>