While I disagree with a lot of your statements and find them unnecessarily (maybe purposely?) provacative, I do agree with you that college has become too expensive, and not for the right reasons in many cases. That’s about where we part ways.
I don’t really understand where you are going from there. Your D has had a decent HS career. She’s an A- student with 80-85th% test scores and what sounds like a very large variety of activities, albeit not state or nationally distinguished. She will get into colleges that value this type of student. They will have various price points. You can decide which she will choose when all the offers come in. No need to choose or debate it now, other than to solicit suggestions for “fit” colleges, and then visit them. Time’s running out.
She will not get into an elite college, barring some fantastic good luck. She just won’t. And, she probably wouldn’t be happy at one anyway. They value the kids who busted their butts getting 4.5+/2300+/national recognition ECs.
That said, I also don’t understand why anyone is criticizing this girl…at all. She sounds like a social butterfly who has really enjoyed her HS career in a positive way. So what if she didn’t tailor her time towards taking 30 practice exams to get an elite test score? So what if she didn’t work round the clock to get an A in every AP known to man? So what if she wanted to scatter her activities broadly and dabble in lots of things rather than achieve national greatness in one? Assuming she even could have spiked that high in some area of talent, had she tried.
Should the goal of every 14-18 year old kid be to get into an elite college? Or should the goal be to be yourself, explore lots of things, and if that means attending directional U, then attend happily and carry on. The elite colleges do reward those kids who not only buckled down and achieved academically, but were also lucky enough to be very, supremely talented in a particular area, and who had the opportunity to develop that talent at an early age, be it in science, sports, arts.
Not everyone can or should attend an elite college, despite their VERY BEST EFFORTS. So what? That leaves about 3,000 other colleges out there for the remaining 90-95% of American students to attend. This girl will be one of them. I would never say she “didn’t do everything right.” Sounds to me like she’s done just fine.
OP needs to quit the whining about it. College is expensive. That s**cks, we all hate that. Your daughter will attend the college that’s right for her. You will find one you are willing to pay for. And on and on. I also happen to respect your hard work from middle class beginnings, and your decision not to sacrifice retirement on an expensive college. Many here agree with that philosophy. So, I think you did “everything right” EXCEPT for post ridiculous and provocative statements about lots and lots of other things on this board.