@carolinamom2boys, you are so right. Some kids are just driven in that way as teenagers, and some aren’t. Mine were a mix, and yet have all been successful by any yardstick - so far, knock on wood. That shining star as a teenager isn’t always the most successful 25- or 35- or 40 yr old. I know two Ivy flunkouts from the past two years alone, both due to emotional strain.
There’s something to be said for NOT burning out as a teenager, which can happen when the achievement is parent-forced rather than kid-driven. If your kid wants to study for, and take, many tests to try for perfect scores and multiple APs, I think we can all admire that effort and hope it’s amply rewarded. This OPs D was not driven in this way, and I suppose I’m disagreeing with people who think he should have forced her to be higher achieving. Yes, some level of parental insistence on studying/working hard is good, but this D took four exams with prep, has an A- average and is involved in her HS. She is interested in colleges and has goals. I think dad and mom did a fine job.
Sadly, I have seen a few snarky comments about the achievements of OPs D on this thread, although I do think they have been largely directed at OP’s description of the D rather than the D herself, and due largely because of his initial claims that she deserved elite schools and would run a company one day. I think he backed off a lot of those initial statements.