<p>Let’s deal with the facts about what the OP was asking and forget the “pile on” as OldFort said for a moment. Patterns of drunkedness, traffic tickets, cheating (which is like stealing), stealing - they are completely different matters entirely. </p>
<p>In this case, a very decent student was drunk at a prom. We do not know the backstory, because it wasn’t provided. We do not know if it was her first drink. We do not know her body build - if she is 5 feet tall and weighs 95 pounds like my D, one drink, especially if it was her first would make her drunk. We do not know if she felt pressured by her date or her limo group. We do not know anything other than she was drunk and the school took action. The school administered a punishment and told the girl and her parents that she did not need to report the incident to colleges - so in effect, it was being erased from her record. </p>
<p>From here she has a decision to make. There is not one of us here that would not be tempted to answer “no” in that box. That’s the honest truth. I think I know what I would probably do in this case, but I can’t be 100 percent sure, and if the OP makes a different choice, I believe that they are entitled to do so. </p>
<p>I believe by answering “yes” and fully disclosing the circumstances, there is no worry of anyone turning her in or it coming back to haunt her in the future and no worry about answering the question in a way that could be perceived “dishonest.” I’d have my D write a stellar essay about all of this, including insight about some very sanctimonious advice of “well intentioned” people. Tell her to be brutally honest about these people - talk about irony. </p>
<p>To all of the parents that stand on the moral high ground about honesty and integrity as RELATED TO THIS POST, did you ever consume alcohol under the legal age - even ONCE in your life? Will your college student consume alcohol under the legal age - EVER??? Did you know that if you answered “yes” than you/your kid broke the law? Did you turn yourself in or are you prepared to turn your kid in if they even consume one drop of alcohol under the age of 21 outside your home? If not, why not? Is it because they did not get caught? They broke the law though and according to your own logic the honest thing would be to turn yourself/your kid in.</p>
<p>Let’s hope the original OP’s D doesn’t decide to the the RA to your college kid. The lesson she has learned is that there is ZERO tolerance for this behavior. Forget the three strike rule at most colleges. Forget the fact that underaged drinking is practically sanctioned by universities in fraternities and sororities.</p>
<p>Whatever the decision that the OP and her D makes, I wish her well. Please keep the lines of communication open with her about everything. Let her know that no matter what, she can come to you. You may not be happy about bad decisions but you have been there. Please let her know that mistakes happen and that you love her. Please know that everything will be okay. Her future is bright.</p>