I am a female freshman engineering student, and I will soon have to decide which major path to follow. I have always succeeded in math and science, so everyone told me to go into engineering. I find different aspects of all engineering majors interesting, but I was thinking chemical engineering because I like chemistry and everything is made of chemicals … Somewhere in this major search I remembered that I would really like to be a mom and have a family some day. Working as a parent is difficult in any field or industry, but I’m wondering if it is possible to work remotely as an engineer? Maybe as a software engineer? I don’t know how this would work because collaboration so essential to engineering, but I’m wondering if anyone has had any experience with this? It would be nice to be able to work more on my own time and be able to pick kids up from school, spend more time with them, etc. Thanks for any ideas!
I know of at least one company that allows part time engineering work. Benefits stay, but pay is cut. I also know two or three families where the wife was the engineer and the husband stayed at home, so that can happen sometimes.
In general, there is a lot of value in interacting with one’s peers regularly. I learn lots more by talking than by email exchanges. It’s also easier to remain employed if people can remember your face during a downturn, I think.
Even part time works fine for that.
If you want to have the ability to do a great part of your work from home, then chemical engineering isn’t it. In fact most engineering will not be conducive to work from home. The only career I think you will find that kind of work is in computer programming and web design.
Some anecdotes:
I have a female engineer colleague who is VERY talented and works part-time. But because she works part-time, her career has stalled. She has been “mommy-tracked”.
My brother is a software engineer who is so well regarded that he works half of the year remotely from another city where he prefers to live. Keep in mind that he has over 20 yrs of experience and is well known in his industry.
The conclusions I have drawn from this:
if you are already famous and walk-on-water, you can work however you want and still command respect. If you have not established yourself to that level and you want to work however you want, you will not be taken seriously.
You haven’t even started graduated from college yet and have already check out…
My husband and I met in grad school - we are both structural engineers. We started our own company in 1999, when our youngest child of three was 14 months old. We work out of our home. It’s been ideal for us. Some weeks I don’t work at all, others I pull all-nighters.
Before we started the firm, I worked part-time for another engineer. That also worked well. He didn’t have enough work to hire someone full-time, but I could help him as needed. So it is possible to be a mom and an engineer. When I go to engineering meetings, though, there will usually be only one to three women out of 20 to 40 engineers.
I know a mom of a 1 yo, she has a BS and MS and she was able to return to work after 5 months by taking a p/t consulting job that turned into a full time work at home gig. Yet I can’t say if this is actually an engineering job per se. She made a remark that makes me think not. Also the husband is the bigger earner so it was possible to do this easily and there wasn’t pressure about the job and it is the husband’s company.
This is much more common in software engineering. Flex hours, work at home, work remotely arrangements. Not all jobs in all sectors but more common and with some experience you could target those employers.
Thanks for all the responses. It seems like software engineering or computer science is the most flexible, but it was great to hear other professionals talk about their experiences. @MaineLonghorn, That is awesome that you and your husband started your own company! It’s also good to know that part-time work could be an option down the road. And I hadn’t thought of consulting. That sounds like it could be really interesting.
(P.S. GMTplus7, I have not “already checked out” just because I am want to be a mom some day.)
I am male so I can’t directly relate to your question but I have experience with my wife (who is also an engineer) and several women engineers I’ve known and worked with. Neither of us are software or computer engineers. Some observations:
- Working at home can get awful lonely if done for a long time. Some I've known who have done so would crave for "face time" with their coworkers.
- Some male engineers I have worked with recently have taken off "paternity leave" leveling, somewhat, the "mummy track" mentality.
- Most companies these days pay more attention to family matters, letting everyone take some time off for personal business (sick kids, attending kid's activities, etc.). It more comes down to "did you complete your assignment in a timely fashion". That usually translates to some OT to make up for the time missed to get your assignment done.
- Having kids is a two person activity; meaning both husband and wife should share in the upbringing of the kids and having to take time off to do so.
My wife and I have two kids (now grown) and it was never a real issue as far as work went. She did say that it was good to go back to work after taking 6 months off. She could actually have real adult conversations again. Both kids went into home daycare. One of the kids in daycare with my daughter turned out to become her best friend thru high school and beyond.
Mechanical engineering can be done from home, at least the design and analysis portions.
But working from home does not mean that you can babysit a toddler while getting paid, you still need child care, but maybe less commuting and more flexible hours and days off. But flexible means … your employer expects you to get something done by say March 15, no excuses, and attendance while surfing the net or watching the tot does not count.
I also second or third the lonely working from home thing, the most successful people I know who do this go out for lunch with friends / work contacts or go in one or two days a week.
High quality day care (NAEYC is the gold standard … expensive, but you are making 6-figures possibly, so pay it) and/or a really involved dad (involved as in co-parent, not a babysitter for 1 hour a day while you make dinner) are also very conducive to success. But two-career families just work more … it is quite exhausting to keep all the balls in the air, for both parents.
NAEYC style day care can be really great for some kids too, very stimulating to mind, body and social skills. Home day care can be great too, especially for infants who like to watch older kids play … like mine … or a happy grandma.
I will also throw in that if you are still interviewing spouses, it is important that they share your vision of 18 years of your life and if your life plan means two-income, that they agree to be half of that equation. If your plan means stay at home mom and mommy track, that is fine, but don’t marry a guy who wants to maximize family financial security unless he is going to be a top dog and bring in the dough (and don’t work 18 hours keeping down the home fires).
Join a women in engineering group and talk to the older women … they may have a variety of experiences on how they kept both family and careers going - and everyone has a different weighting to those two goals … some are 100% mom for 5 years, some are 50-50% from 12 week end to maternity leave.
I have seen one woman become high -powered after a 5 year child raising break, but for many women (5 or more), it is a “mommy track”. If you can keep a good income and are happy with part-time work that is also great, and then come back when kids are 5 or 10 … but it is hard to get back on the power track … which not everyone (male or female) has any interest in to begin with.
Two-income I know quite a few women, mostly quite successful. Two kids seems like the max, although I do know one woman with 3 kids who has worked full-time for most of it.
You have to take it by ear. Some jobs are pretty hands-on, place-oriented, or even worse travel-intensive … so maybe avoid that in your early career if you want max flexibility …
Also, consider timing … sometimes earlier child raising is better, early career you do not have that much to lose by taking 5 years off and your work may not be as demanding (and no, you can not turn down travel or challenging assignments too many times, or you lose that opportunity, no one has infinite opportunities throughout their careers).
@GMTplus7 your colleague will likely have to move to another company when her kids are no longer so demanding and she wants to return to full-time, if she wants to return to what I call the power-track.
Not all men aspire to be superstars either … and many aren’t juggling home and jobs as much as many women do (going part-time means dad is likely either working hard or just figures wifey has time to do all the neddlesome around the house stuff that can easily be a 40-hour a week job).
But OP - pick a field you really enjoy and be talented and put in max effort. Then you can either “mommy track” at say 50K a year for 20 hours a week or you can hire excellent help for child and home or you can be picky about hubby (if you make 50% of family income, you do get a vote, too) or you may just love work and choose not to have kids (especially if you can’t find perfect dad to your kids).
All successful careers require engagement and interest.
I would think if you really want to be a chem E there may be some design firms that don’t require 8 hours a day in a plant, but I don’t know Chem E industry well …
@PickOne1, Thank you for such an insightful response! I really appreciate that you took the time to give me detailed advice and information. I have always been so focused on my education and future career, that I have not spent much time thinking about the logistics of having a family. I am a (not very active) member of a women in engineering group, but I should definitely start attending events and going to them for advice. Thanks, and have a great week!
I know plenty of female electrical engineers who have become valuable enough to be able to negotiate telecommuting or part-time arrangements with their employers. Women are part of our workforce, and I don’t see any reason to mommy-track your career if you don’t have to. That said, two career living is hard when the kids are small. It sure is nice when the kids are grown and there are two nice salaries coming in.
My advice is to excel. Excellence gives you leverage.
I have SO many female friends who stayed home for years with their kids and then try to find decent jobs. It’s hard. A lot of them end up substitute teaching or working at LL Bean. So it’s smart to work at least part-time the whole way through. I used to work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, 6 am to 4 pm. Not easy, but doable.
Engineering is at least a valuable diploma, so if you take 5 or 10 years off, you still have a good credential behind you, even if you have no recent experience and maybe not many contacts (although with LinkedIn and email it is not hard to stay in touch with your old contacts and references).
We had many women work part-time while their kids were young and they have done well … also for many women 20 or 30 hours spent with adults on adult pursuits and hiring good child care would give them some “me” time of sorts. Being a 24x7 mom, which can happen, is very exhausting. A child in day care and you in the office may be more calming, especially if … you enjoy your work … so find something that you enjoy doing …
OP - you may also want to read some popular books on related topics, like Lean In … etc … there are some good threads on here. While you may not agree with some of the writers, I would personally suggest looking at a broad spectrum of viewpoints, it is good to realize that you are not alone, something like 70 or 80% of women with children work and women are 50% of US population of 300 million … so you get the point.
Somewhat premature to really worry about children until you actually get married and get to that point in your life. Best advice in the meantime is to do really good work, build a solid reputation and skillset, and think more entrepenurial unless you can find work at one of the family friendly companies, and yes, they do exist … there are surveys … and this really overlaps well with “Best Places to Work” since both men and women have family obligations and do well if those are both respected and enabled. Both parties lose when a highly skilled employee leaves an employer … so smart companies that really value their talent will often put some effort into good parental leave policies, flexible hours, flexible career paths so their employees stay and contribute to the companies success.
So much can depend on the particular circumstances.
I’m a mechanical engineer, and for the first 20 years I worked onsite … often workin in the lab… For the past 10 years I’ve been doing more of an analyst job. I work at home a lot, often online offshift with coworkers in different timezone. Many times I’ve commented that this job would have been tough when the kids were young. Yes, I work from home a lot. But the hours are long and unpredictable, often with weekend duty. The other onsite job was much easier on family life.
I worked full time as an engineer for ten years until I had my first child. My company allowed me to return to work on a part time basis (32 hours). After I had my second, we were having a hard time managing two jobs (his very demanding) and two kids. I decided to stay home but was able to work as a contractor to my company. I did that part time for 13 years. It kept me in the game and gave me tremendous flexibility through the school years. I probably didn’t keep my skills up as well as if I had worked in the office, and it was sometimes a little lonely. But, on the whole, it worked for our family. Now that my youngest is in college, I have some interviews lined up to go back to work full time. So, it can be done. Nothing is perfect. And that’s ok.
It is good to think about these things, but you are young and you don’t know what ‘work’ will look like ten years from now. I was one of the first to work part time at my company. It helped also that I could work from home because of the type of engineering work that I did.
My advice is to pursue your interests and you will figure it out as you go along.
One thing I do periodically is AutoCAD drafting for other engineers. It doesn’t pay as well as engineering design, but it’s less stressful and more flexible! I enjoy doing it, too.