I’m a current high school senior. While I’m still on Harvard’s waiting list, I will in all likelihood be attending Swarthmore College in the fall. Although Swarthmore was not my first choice, I think it’s a great school and I’m very lucky to be going there. That being said, I’m concerned/nervous about my college experience in general.
I am a strong student, but I have never enjoyed my high school classes (who does?) and have always found school to be a real chore. High school/these past four years were pretty miserable for me. I am undecided in terms of a major––all areas of study I have researched or taken classes in thus far are “okay,” all tolerable and moderately interesting at times, but I have no ambition to pursue any of them in greater depth. While I do have several artistic interests/talents (I’m a serious pianist/composition student of 13 years, writer of fiction), I don’t want to have to struggle in their pursuit, only to end up broke and unknown like so many other people, so I don’t think I want to pursue these things professionally.
In addition, I have grown up in NYC, so moving to a suburb (even one outside of a major city) is a little daunting. The things that HAVE given me pleasure in life will all now be inaccessible––my childhood apartment, my parents, my dog, my twin brother, etc. I am not an outgoing person by nature, and the friends whom I enjoy most are people I have known for literally 13 years (since Kindergarten).
Lastly, I do not/will not drink or smoke, go to parties, etc. I have no intention of dating.
How uncommon are my concerns? Do others like me find purpose and/or enjoyment during their college experience?
It would be worth looking at other more viable career paths in music/the arts. Being a professional musician isn’t the end all be all of a music career; music education is certainly something you could look at, and it’s very possible to be a successful music educator and live well.
However, it is also very common for many new college students be undecided. Don’t worry, you will meet plenty of people who are in the same boat as you, and there will be advisors to specifically guide undecided majors. You’ll probably be taking some gen-eds at first anyways, and you certainly have 1-2 years to settle on something.
Being homesick is completely normal too; maybe it will seem to you that everyone around you is assured and settled in right away, but I promise you that almost everyone will be homesick to some degree. That being said, you should definitely make the effort to make friends. Join clubs that sound interesting, keep your dorm door open, talk with your roommate, try to find at least one person in your class to work with. Also, in the first weeks, most people in your dorm will likely eat together, so join them or take the initiative to invite some people to dinner. I’m an introvert as well, and I know it can be really exhausting and scary to put yourself out there with near strangers, but this is something you’ll need to learn to do.
I have no idea about how lively Swarthmore’s party life is, which can play a factor in how easy it is to find friends who don’t party or find activities that don’t revolve around partying. From my personal experience at my college, I was to able to find friends who virtually didn’t party and we had a lot of fun doing other non-party/alcohol related activities.
Bottom line is- it’s completely ok to feel apprehensive about college. You are not alone. Try to keep an open mind and try new things. Good luck with the waitlist and Swarthmore!
To me this reads like you might have some social anxiety…if you have found yourself limited in what you do because of anxiety, maybe now is the time to get that addressed. Have you ever not wanted to go somewhere because you would have to go to go alone? Have you ever not done something (perform music) because it would be in front of many people?
Well, what is your reasoning behind going to school? Are you only going for the experience and because “it’s what people do after high school?” Honestly, it’s a lot of money and a lot of hard work, so if you don’t know what you’ll be studying perhaps you should take a gap year and try to do some soul-searching. There are a lot of students graduating with $30-60K in student loans with no real job prospects- don’t be one of them.
Well I’ve been told over and over that it’s quite common for people to be unsure what they want to study when they begin college, and that one figures it out by taking classes.
To STEM or not to STEM was our major focus when my daughter was in middle school. Many of our parent-friends thought we were crazy because we were focused on trying to help her learn what she likes to do. In middle school she tried 3 different sports (very athletic 6’0 lacrosse, soccer and volleyball player) but ultimately continued to become a classically trained violinist (recently playing at Carnegie Hall).
Yes, many people believe that kids shouldn’t be pushed to make a decision because most 17 year olds don’t know what they want to do. Compare this to the fact that one of the best ways to cut the cost of college is to know what you want to study before you go. As @NHuffer said a gap year should be considered.
Further, not knowing your direction before college MAY affect gaining work experience during your college experience through internships as the selection process for those internships may focus on the major choice of the student.
The world and it’s opportunities move so fast now-a-days. When I was in college 25 years ago there was no rush to declare. I put myself through college so I didn’t have a lot of time to be undecided. I was an accounting and business administration major who loved physics. I loved everything about it. When I was chosen for a government internship 28 years ago I was glad I chose a major.
Try to take classes that sound interesting freshman year. Swat has some great offerings – my kid is not attending, but she really liked the classes she sat in on.
@NYGrad Well, there is a difference between have an idea (or a few choices) and not knowing altogether. Having a few ideas will give you a direction to go freshman year instead of taking a bunch of random classes hoping you find something you like. That kind of blind exploring is best done at a community college (or affordable state schools) where classes are very affordable and you aren’t out thousands of dollars for each class (look at the cost per credit of your school: at $47k a year your classes are probably $4,000 a piece). Would you rather “figure things out” for $300 per class or $4,000? Once you have an idea, you can jump into your university and take classes required for the new-found major.
Again, I know this is the less-popular way to go about getting an education, but I’m hoping you realize the “popular” way could leave you $60k in debt and not really knowing what you want or not able to get a job (lots of liberal arts degrees won’t pay back your student loans very easily).
You can’t just take CC classes and then attend a school like Swat. My advice might be different for a student who did not have such a good opportunity now. The OP may need a break (gap year) – sounds burned out from years of high performance. But don’t go take CC classes.
Thank you all for your input and advice. I really appreciate you all taking the time to write out your thoughts
It’s frankly alarming to hear that I should have a better idea than I have now–I’ve been told by many a college/guidance counselor, adults, and people on this site that going into college without having formed my career ambitions is totally normal, common, appropriate, etc. I am am reluctant to consider a gap year because I don’t want to forgo the opportunity I have presently, and because I have no reason to believe a gap year would help me figure anything out. From what my parents/other adults have told me, that’s what college is for.
For what it’s worth, I won’t be taking out student loans.
I don’t know where this talk of gap years and CC is coming from, the advice you have received is correct.
If you went to a public school, then your academic exposure has been very limited as the NYC public school system is abysmal. Even if you went to one of the “Gossip Girl” schools like I did, your intellectual exposure; while far greater than the average high schooler, is still limited compared to what a school like Swarthmore has to offer.
When I applied to schools, I read the course catalogue for every school I applied to, and even several I considered but chose not to. I don’t recall ever being told to do this but all students should be doing it when applying. I would just read the titles in the departments I didn’t think would interest me (and occasionally I found a class that did) and I would read in detail every course in the departments that did interest me.
In your case, you have only one catalogue to look at: Swarthmore. Go through it. Read about each course they have. Since you don’t know what major you want, look at every department and note the courses that sound interesting. Note which are the ones you could take freshman/sophomore year without pre-reqs and which are the ones that will have to wait because of pre-reqs. Maybe you’ll notice a pattern - a specific department or a theme across departments that keeps popping up in the courses that sound interesting to you. That might be your major. If not, start looking at what is required for various majors and what you thought was a random selection of courses actually fulfills a given major. When you’re on campus, there will be plenty of resources with regards to finding jobs and when you go to a school like Swat, you’re employability is not completely tethered to your major like it is at weaker institutions. At the very least, going through the course catalogue will give you a sense as to what you’re going to take freshman year and who knows, maybe something that you learn in that class will inspire you to learn more.
With regard to everything else. Totally common. You’ll get over it after the first 2-4 weeks on campus.
Thank you iwannabe_Brown! Somehow that didn’t occur to me, but clearly a familiarity with the course catelogue is important if I am going to explore different subject areas’ courses.
I attended Stuyvesant High School, one of the most selective in the city. I was lucky enough to have access to many advanced courses not typical of public high schools, but there were many other issues with the school beyond its academics. Oh well, at least I made it through!
Thank you again for taking the time to offer advice.
For what it’s worth, @NYGrad, I went into college “knowing” exactly what I wanted to do and came out the other side doing nothing of the sort. You are going to one of the top colleges in the country, and I recommend you check in with your advisor as soon as possible to talk about a plan for meeting the distribution requirements (http://www.swarthmore.edu/advising-handbook/requirements), since that may well turn you on to a field that appeals to you.
I knew I liked Math and Science more than History and English…so went into Engineering. I didn’t have a strong interest in a particular type, but selected Electrical…I found that I didn’t like the hands on stuff…but I got through those classes and work as an Engineer, but at a higher level.
So you may find an interest because of a course you take with an interesting teacher that inspires you to learn more about the subject.
You are correct, there are lots of students that are unsure of what they want to study. You are not alone. It is not uncommon. You will be ok. However, rather than saying what you won’t do, keep an open mind. There is nothing wrong with going to a party. There is more that goes on at a party than drinking and “hooking up.” Definitely, no smoking or drinking, but you can dance, talk, and people watch.
Others have stated you should join an activity group…I highly recommend that.
I think you will be fine wherever you go. Godspeed.
It is perfectly normal to be nervous and to be unsure about what you want to do. You are going through a huge life transition when you head to college. There is a learning curve. The recommendation to really comb through the course catalog is a good one for getting a feel for what might I Teresa you. College is very different than high school, you will probably find that you like it better.
There are thousands of students that enter college every year as undecided. I would say slow down here before anyone suggests taking a gap year. I would argue that gap years are even for students that are even more self-directed and have some idea of what they would like to do in that time, rather than merely a time for “soul-searching” which is honestly really chiche and there is no guarantee that taking a gap year would accomplish any of that.
Many students discover what they want to do by taking advantage of campus programming, going to the career center, talking to older peers, forming relationships with professors and other mentor figures, taking classes, summer internships, ect. You won’t have the same resources as you will have when you are in college and I would be wary of taking a gap year just because you aren’t sure of what you want to do, which is perfectly normal.
