This year I am a junior in high school and I’m really worried about the level of extracurriculars I am involved in. Freshman year I wasn’t really involved in any clubs, but I did tutor twice a week at the middle school nearby for the about 2/3 of the year. However, I was poorly informed and did not keep much of a record of this, and so I am unsure if I can even count this as an extracurricular I participated in. I also helped lead a youth group for elementary students every Wednesday night before they shut down the program the next year. Sophomore year I became involved in DECA and National Honors Society. My DECA club was very small and unorganized and so I ended up taking on a multitude of leadership positions including VP, secretary, etc. I went to state in the competition, but did not make it to Nationals. For NHS, I did my 15 hours of community service, but because I switched schools this year and my guidance counselor had a sheet with those hours, I lost the activities I did. I also tutored a boy during the day, but that was also on the sheet. Outside of school, I babysit, tutor for money, play piano, and freewrite, but I have gained no awards or recognition for any of these things. Last year I was also invited to be a Career and Technical Education leader, but it was just a schoolwide club, and kind of flopped shortly after. As I mentioned before, I switched schools this year, and it now being my junior year, am uncertain about not having the groundwork I needed. A big issue I have is the school is about half an hour away from my home driving, and I don’t have my own car or license, so my mom has to pick me up when I do after school activities. This makes it so difficult - half the time, when I ask to stay after school for something, she says “no” because she doesn’t have the time to pick me up. Another issue is my family’s mentality. As much as I stress the importance of extracurriculars to them and community service, a) they never want to get involved in anything so it’s entirely up to me, b) they never want to make the commitment, and c) they believe that after school when I get home should be spent doing family responsibilities and then, once everything is done, homework. I never see my friends after school, and my dad complains on a weekly basis about taking me to my youth group once a week on Wednesday nights, so I often can’t go. He says that he “can’t spend this time transporting me all over as he has to spend it with my mom.” Which I understand, as my mom just finished radiation for breast cancer and is now emotionally and physically not at her best health. I have a younger sister on top of that, and although she’s old enough to take care of herself, she expects me to spend time with her every night, or else nobody else would and she’d be alone. Finally, on top of everything, my family is in a terrible financial situation at the moment. Just joining a club I have to pay for dues, and that’s been really hard for me as I worked all summer babysitting to earn just enough money for my drivers ed, and that amount is slowly dwindling down. There’s also competition fees - which my family cannot even come close to affording, but they do not qualify for help from the school. My parents won’t let me get an actual part-time job, as they have said they don’t have the time to actually transport me to that job, along with the fact they think it would take away time from my schoolwork. But then, my family needs help right now with money, and my dad is asking me to give some of what little money I have to the family to just buy groceries and gas and keep us afloat. And because we have little money, gas is another issue with transportation, and my parents will not let me walk anywhere for safety reasons. So just overall, with it being my junior year and the situation I am in, I feel like I’m failing in this area of my life. It’s not for lack of effort, I’ve tried, I really have. It may just seem like I’m making excuses, but these things are really holding me back. I dream big - and I’d love to be able to go to a prestigious college. My academics have always been something I’m very proud of, and I work extremely hard to keep them up. When I switched schools, however, another thing that’s been discouraging me is I’ve had to give up an AP class I would have taken at my old school - AP chem - because they absolutely required the prerequisite of chemistry. So I’m considering taking another AP class independently (not AP chem but AP euro), but I don’t know where I’ll get the money to buy the textbooks and if I just study resources online if that will be enough. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas specific to the situation I am in. It’s really been such a heavy burden on my shoulders. My town is also very small, and without driving far away, there’s not a lot I can do. Finally, the regarding the church aforementioned, my family doesn’t attend it anymore. In fact, we haven’t been attending church at all, so I haven’t been able to do any of the missions work I’ve wanted to do in high school for as long as I can remember. I feel like I need to take initiative in some areas and begin clubs, a fundraiser, a blog, anything really, myself; I’m just unsure how. My parents have told me they can not support me in college at all, so on top of wanting to get accepted into my dream school, I also am very concerned and in need of scholarships. Sorry this was so long, I just wanted to give the full picture. Thank you for any advice.
Not touching the wall of text. Paragraphs are your friends.
It sounds like your family is under a lot of stress right now, and you are doing the best you can. Get involved in things you are interested in (even if only online), do well in school, and help your family as they are going through this health crisis. It sounds like a difficult situation, I agree, but I don’t think anything you’ve said is ruling out good colleges for you. Good luck and I hope things improve at home for you.
ps in a calm moment, you might try talking to your parents about being allowed to do more things outside the home. Explain why you feel it’s important to your future. Or, maybe even write them a letter explaining that.
You only need to be concerned about ECs if you plan on attending a Very Highly Selective Top 25 school. If you are not, rather than worrying about EC decisions from years ago, you would be better served focusing on how to improve your educational abilities by taking an English Comp class.
I read your entire post (despite the lack of paragraphs), and I feel for you. You have a lot on your plate. I would start by talking to your school’s counselor. Explain the situation. Maybe they can offer support and advice. Is your neighborhood really that unsafe or are your parents just worrywarts? Your parents need to understand how college admissions work. If you have a job that will count for an EC and you won’t have to worry about clubs. A job will also help you and your family out. It will also give you something to write about in your essays. Look and see what job opportunities are within walking distance. It can be at a store or just about anywhere. If your parents are worried about walking at night, look for something you can do during weekend days. I wish you the best.
I’m sorry about the lack of paragraphs, I wrote this on my phone and it didn’t even cross my mind. I just made this account and this is my first post. Trust me, I’ve written my share of essays, I understand the need for paragraphs 
Thank you so much. I will definitely try to talk to both my parents and the counselor.
No, my neighborhood is not unsafe whatsoever. They let my younger brother walk all over town, they just won’t let me walk anywhere, day or night, because I’m a girl. A job would be amazing however, so it’s worth the try.
I am looking at a lot of the top 25 schools, but I’m not adamant about attending one for the prestige. Right now I’m taking AP Lang, which I love so far.
Thank you! You understand my family’s situation very well. It’s been difficult, and I don’t want to push another load onto them, but it is a crucial year for me. It just came at the worst time.
Many students cannot afford to do ECs. They need to help their families. Many elite universities understand this. Please read the following report and you will notice that your “services” to your family count:
http://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-mcc/files/20160120_mcc_ttt_report_interactive.pdf
Of course, you need to be able to articulate your services to your family given your family situation. The idea is the same, regardless of ECs or family responsibilities: you need to have a good story that is supported by your activities outside the classroom if you want to get into a very competitive school.
Good luck.
This document was so eye-opening. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
@Endora
Alright, I did not know that. I wanted to keep track of my extracurriculars as neatly as possible. Most of them, especially volunteer work, I do for my own enjoyment and the fulfillment it brings me to help those who are in a less fortunate position than I am. There are a few nevertheless, such as NHS, that I do for the college application.
I understand my parents’ perspectives, I truly do. That is why it is so difficult for me. I hate pushing them to take time out of their day to basically be my “chauffeur.”
Unfortunately, my parents do not let me walk around the town I live in. There are places around town that I could get a job, but I definitely need to be able to drive there. At the moment that is my sole issue with the part-time job. That, and my parents generally think it’s a terrrible idea and will only hinder my academics.
Thank you for the help though.
@“Erin’s Dad”
I’m sorry about the lack of paragraphs, I wrote this out on my phone in a time of distress and it honestly didn’t even cross my mind. I just made this account and this is my first post, so I barely know how to use the site. Trust me, I’ve written and have been recognized for a multitude of essays, I think I understand the need for paragraphs.
*sorry, I forgot to tag you earlier (:
First of all, thank you so much for your kind words.
I will definitely try to talk to both my parents and the counselor.
To answer your question, no, my neighborhood is not unsafe whatsoever. They let my younger brother walk all over town, they just won’t let me walk anywhere, day or night, because I’m a girl. A job would be amazing however, so it’s worth the try.
Btw I didn’t realize I needed to tag people the first time around, so I’m going back and doing that, in case you see this message twice.
I am looking at a lot of the top 25 schools, but I’m not adamant about attending one for the prestige. Right now I’m taking AP Lang, which I love so far.
Sorry if you see this message twice, I forgot to tag people (:
Thank you! You understand my family’s situation very well. It’s been difficult, and I don’t want to push another load onto them, but it is a very important year for me. It just happened to have come at the worst time.
This document was so eye-opening. I can’t thank you enough for sharing it with me.