A couple days ago I got into the University of Pennsylvania, something that I genuinely was not expecting at all. I opened my decision fully expecting to be rejected but I was surprised in a good way! I also got an amazing financial aid package, making Penn the cheapest out of all my options by a wide margin. So, I am definitely going to Penn.
I’m very excited and grateful for this opportunity so please don’t take this post to mean that I’m somehow not appreciative of my acceptance. Penn is an amazing school and I know that I’ll have so many opportunities to learn and grow there over the next four years.
But after doing some more research over the past couple days, I’m starting to get a little worried that Penn’s overall campus culture might not be the best fit for me. I applied to Penn because I really love their focus on interdisciplinary learning and civic engagement, and I can’t wait to take advantage of those two things this fall. But I’ve also read a lot about how there’s a pretty competitive atmosphere on campus, and how most students seem to be on a never ending hamster wheel of sorts, constantly stressed, over-scheduled, and worried about the future rather than enjoying the present.
That was pretty much how high school was for me, and it had a bad effect on my mental/emotional health in my junior and senior years. I definitely want to work hard and grow both as a student and person in college but I was hoping to have a more collaborative and relaxed (not the best word to describe what I mean, but basically I don’t want to be extremely stressed every single day for the next four years) experience in college. Basically, my question is, do you think I’ll still be able to find these things and make Penn work for me? I will be going to Penn for sure mainly due to financial reasons, so I’d love to hear any positive/optimistic responses you guys may have
Congratulations! Sounds wonderful that you got in, and it is also your most affordable option. That’s really awesome! I understand your fear of being overworked after a grueling high school experience. My daughter felt the same way when deciding on a university. In fact, she could have gone to Ga Tech with a full tuition scholarship, but she read too much about students being up all night doing homework to where she would tremble and break into tears at the thought of going there. She also struggled her junior and senior years of high school with a breakdown of sorts while completing 15 AP courses with a 4.0 unweighted average and all that goes with it. You do not seem apprehensive to the same extent she was. You seem happy about going to U Penn and slightly concerned. I think you will do fine there if you plan on taking care of yourself from the start.
Get plenty of sleep. Aim for good enough with your coursework rather than being the best in each class. Choose your major and activities with a view toward what you can actually handle without getting too stressed. Just because some people around you might be overdoing it doesn’t mean you have to. My daughter is a sophomore at another university right now and still pacing herself with how much effort she puts into her classes. She is not making the high As in every class like she did in high school. At the same time, she doesn’t want to have the same breakdown and misery that working so hard brought on either. And she still works plenty hard – with jobs in two labs and involvement in a couple of clubs and a leadership role. But she sleeps at night, goofs off some in the evenings and weekends, and tries to keep her stress under control.
I think your self-awareness will allow you to manage your stress levels maturely while attending U Penn. The university will have plenty of resources to get help if needed (academically or emotionally or just advice in general). Some majors will be more competitive than others and involve more late nights, so if you find that your choice of major is too grueling, then look for a different one that still lets you achieve your long-term objectives. You have probably discovered your own best ways of de-stressing by now, whether that is reading, surfing online, working out, or socializing. Be sure and make time for your key de-stress activities, and you will be fine.
@mommyrocks Thank you for such good advice! You’re definitely right that just because people around me might be pushing themselves to the extreme, that doesn’t mean I have to as well. I hope you’re right that I’ll be able to manage my stress by doing all of those things. Thanks again!
@bssurly Congratulations! I genuinely think Penn is the most incredible place for those interested in a truly interdisciplinary undergraduate education. That being said, Penn (like all of its peers) will provide you with challenging, intellectually rigorous coursework and an array of extracurricular activities that will keep you busier than you thought possible. The key to managing these opportunities and the stress intrinsic to these incredible experiences is practicing self care. There are a few non-negotiables in life: 1) you need 6-9 hours of sleep per night (every night- not 3 hours one night and 12 the next). 2) You need a healthy and balanced diet. 3) You need exercise in some form (I don’t care if its chair-yoga, walking to the grocery store, or marathon running-- moving is essential). 4) socializing with friends and keeping in contact with loved ones. If you keep in mind that those 4 parts of your life must ALWAYS come before school work and extracurriculars, you will be more than capable of managing the challenges you face in your college career. College students (understandably) have a lot of trouble remembering to maintain a sense of balance in their lives and consequently they take on more than might be ultimately healthy for them. Your job is to resist the pull of biting off more than you can comfortably chew while making time for the things you really do want to do! And honestly, it’s very, very doable!
From personal experience, the VAST majority of Penn students do not feel overworked, hyper-stressed, constantly forward looking, etc. etc. etc. There is an intense vibe on campus but the students feeling the most pressure are often not participating in the various forms of self care that are preconditions to genuine success in school and afterwards. You seem like a smart and self-reflective student who will be more than ready to take stock of their personal needs while maintaining a commitment to your classes and clubs. So what I guess I’m trying to say is, don’t worry! If you’re the type of student who is already taking into account how to manage the stress they might experience, you are going to be the student most prepared to address that stress when you do come across it.
If you have any specific questions about Penn and managing stress while there, please feel free to reach out to me. I always had a very rigorous course load and I was extremely involved on campus but I always found ways to keep myself feeling healthy and positive- even when my natural inclination was not taking me in that direction. You’re gonna do great! And congrats again on acceptance to the world’s finest university!
course choices and schedule balance. What might your major be?
housing : two possibilities, location/house vibe or choice of residential program - DuBois and Gregory tend to be more laid back; the volunteer residential programs like Music for social change or Mentors keep you grounded and force you to think 'collaborative ', not ‘competitive’.
All good advice above. Also keep in mind that Penn is a large enough school that you should be able to find similarly minded people to be with. Choose your friends wisely.
@PennCAS2014 Thank you so much for such a detailed answer!! Your post makes me feel so much better – I’m really glad to hear from an actual student that most people don’t fit the stereotype I thought they would. I will most likely end up taking you up on your offer and reaching out to you if I have any more questions!
@MYOS1634 I’m planning on majoring in Cognitive Science. That might change of course, but I’m pretty certain that I’m going to stick to the social sciences. When it comes to housing, I was hoping to stay in the Quad. Do you think I’d be better off at a different house/dorm?
@happy1 That’s definitely true, I’ll keep that in mind! Thank you
Well, all freshmen want the quad, and it’s popular with the prep school crowd and frat wannabes. So not necessarily what you want.
Why did you want Quad?
Perhaps Fisher, they have social-sciency residential programs.
The Quad does offer that “typical freshman experience”. It is all a matter of what you are looking for. If you can re-visit Penn during accepted student day you may be able to get a first-hand view of the different options so you can make a more informed decision as to what options may be best for you.
@bssurly Penn seems a great fit for you based on your interests. I would like to dispel the misconception that Penn is not collaborative. Far from it. I have collaborated on most of my classes for homework,exam study groups, people are willing to help out with interview prep for jobs and all sorts of other things. Penn students are competitive with themselves first and foremost, not against others. Yes Penn can be intense but it is up to you to decide how intense it will get. Yes in general people are very motivated and yeah they work very hard and juggle many different things but most people have a balanced life. There are great social outlets to balance your life and kind of balance stress.
@MYOS1634 I don’t really know why to be honest, I think because when I toured campus last year my tour guide said that was the best place for freshmen to live. Lol that’s not the best reason I guess.
@happy1 I’m going to Quaker Days in a couple weeks so I’ll definitely check out the housing options then!
@Penn95 I’m really relieved to hear that I forgot to add this, but Penn’s reputation of being “the social ivy” was another thing that really drew me to it, I want to have a healthy social life in college too!
My D’s experience is that Penn students tend to be social, collaborative, and not cutthroat at all. She thinks that the social networks reinforce this and that any student who was inclined to take a cutthroat approach would quickly be ostracized socially. Word can travel fast.
