Would anyone read my essay and give me some feedback?

<p>I've shown it to a few teachers and some people and they keep giving me grammatical corrections, which is still awesome, but not exactly what I was hoping for. I'm just hoping the content and points make sense. Would anyone be willing to help me and give some feedback?</p>

<p>I'm guessing I would send it through a private message. Sorry, haven't really gotten the chance to fully explore this site. </p>

<p>Thanks so much!</p>

<p>I take a look! PM me!</p>