Do you know how it feels when you put the wrong shoe on the wrong foot? I have felt this way my entire life. After stumbling across an article on-line four years ago, I realized that I had something called Aspergers Syndrome, a mild form of autism. Aspergers syndrome affects how a person communicates and relates with others, as well as how one perceives themselves and those around them. It affects their thinking process, sensory perceptions and use of language. As I was reading about Aspergers Syndrome and all of the symptoms, I realized most of them applied to me. I remember sitting there, dumbfounded. I had a breakthrough in understanding myself; I now understood why I was the way I was
Up until high school I was shy, reserved, and reticent. I realized I could not live this way; I didnt want these characteristics of myself to hinder my ability to succeed. As a solution to this problem, starting in high school, I promised myself I would change my behavior to be more open and not afraid to express myself. From the time I was in elementary school, I wanted to have a career in business. However I knew in order to become a successful person in the business field, I could not remain the withdrawn person I was.
I made a vow, I was not going to let Aspergers stop me from pursuing my dream. For years I wanted to practice Martial Arts, the thought of participating with a group of strangers and yelling in a karate class was pretty scary to me, but I knew I had to face my fears, and I did. After about 2 years of practicing Martial Arts, I received my brown belt as well as a sense of self confidence and inner strength. I once again triumphed over my weakness.<br>
I sometimes wonder how much easier life would be without having Aspergers, but I appreciate the syndrome for allowing me to become the unique person I am. As a result of Aspergers syndome I have acquired an eidetic memory, and I also have a wide range of knowledge in the subjects that interest me the most notably: world history and English. My reasoning skills are extremely sophisticated, and while other students have extreme difficulty with memorization, it is second nature to me. I stand out in the classroom because of these abilities, and often my teachers are amazed by the depth of my knowledge.
My parents encouraged me to pursue a career in the engineering or medical field. They told me I would not fare well in business because I was shy and not good at expressing myself verbally. Personally, it would be ideal for me to become an engineer, because it is a lucrative field, at the same time, I could avoid social contact, which is so often is uncomfortable for me. Though this would be an easier route for me to take, I wish to challenge myself and pursue my dream, I know that unless I face my weaknesses, I will never be able to overcome them.
<p>I don't know about the essay topic, but the way you wrote the essay makes it sound like you diagnosed yourself. Have you consulted a physician?</p>
<p>Yeah, the fact that you never mention being officially disagnosed might convince admission people that you're just...assuming you have it. On another note, one of my friends does have Asperger's, and he's very different from the way you present yourself here.</p>
<p>Apart from that, there are some rather annoying grammatical errors (which I could point out, if you decide you want to use the essay); but before deciding to use this essay, you should clarify some things.</p>
<p>"Personally, it would be ideal for me to become an engineer, because it is a lucrative field, at the same time, I could avoid social contact, which is so often is uncomfortable for me."</p>
<p>I have worked in engineering for over 30 years. While there are some engineers with questionable social skills, I would never say you could "avoid social contact" as an engineer. Being part of a design or development team is just that: being part of a <em>team</em> and does involve working closely with others. Stating in your application essay that your interest in engineering stems from a desire to avoid social contact might not put you in the best light. Just something you might consider....</p>
<p>It's a good topic, but your essay needs a bit of smoothing out. The concluding paragraph is weak and has some faulty logic and assumptions so this does not make you look very good.</p>
<p>
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I was shy, reserved, and reticent
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and repetitive and redundant and superfluous and, well, you get the idea.</p>
<p>i really liked it.. it gave me goosebumps! very well writen.. however, i would just add near the beginning that your doctor dianosed you w/ Aspergers.</p>
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[quote]
I stand out in the classroom because of these abilities, and often my teachers are amazed by the depth of my knowledge.
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</p>
<p>A little self-serving for my tastes...</p>
<p>I have no idea as to whether colleges would hold this against you. If you are going to send it, leave out all the stuff about your parents and engineering in the last paragraph. After reading the essay for the second time, I think the most interesting paragraph is the one about martial arts. Perhaps that could be the main focus of the essay and the Asperger's syndrome a subsidiary one, assuming you have the time to rewrite it and that such a revision satisfies the prompt.</p>
<p>I was shy, reserved, and reticent.... How can i fix that what should I say instead??????</p>
<p>shy-----reserved-----reticent (circle one and use it, and only it)</p>
<p>I disagree with Slipstream99.</p>
<p>The terms shy, reserved and reticent are similar but not the same. Slipstream may feel that is semantics, but these words are variations on a personality that are all appropriate to be used in the context of the applicant's life.</p>
<p>The ONLY terms that are perhaps bordering on being TOO similar are reserved and reticent. I would suggest using just one.</p>
<p>Someone once said there are no true synonyms in the English language. The trio "shy, reserved, and reticent" proves that statement. And it's a very pleasant sounding trio; I'd leave all three of them in.</p>
<p>Your opening is nice. but I agree it seems like you are self-diagnosed. Do you have confirmation?</p>
<p>If you have not yet been diagnosed as Aspergers by a qualified professional, I strongly suggest that you get an evaluation by one before submitting the essay. It may be that you have something like shyness that could be cured by behavioral therapy. Shyness really is one of the most treatable mental health conditions.</p>
<p>The essay is fine, but I agree that you need to be able to say that you were officially diagnosed. It also would be good for you to describe in depth how you faced your fears and got your brown belt.</p>
<p>I agree with others, too, that engineers have to work with other people. They aren't isolated loners.</p>
<p>I would very gravely warn you NOT to use this essay. It is fundamentailly flawed. Your self-diagnosis seems absolutely baseless given the subsequent behavior you described.</p>
<p>I know a thing or two about Asperger's Syndrome from my mother, a well-standing neuropsychologist. Judging by what you said in the essay, you are in no way a candidate for the syndrome. Although I'm sure it's not representative of your true personality, this essay screams: "I'm an overconfident, elitist, hypochondriac."</p>
<p>Read up on Asperger's (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome%5B/url%5D">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome</a>), remind yourself of the DSM disclaimer*, and then visit a professional psychologist and/or neurologist.</p>
<ul>
<li>"The DSM provides diagnostic categories and criteria for their diagnoses. The proper use of these requires clinical training, knowledge and skills to apply them. Their use by people without this background is likely to lead to an inappropriate application of diagnoses."</li>
</ul>
<p>sycophant, just out of curiousity, have you been officially diagnosed with asberger's syndrome? the reason i ask has nothing to do with the validity of your essay, but rather my interest in autism. i took a series of classes on autism which intrigued me, and it led me to develop an interest in psychology.
anyway, back to the essay. personally, i like the trio shy, reserved, reticent. if you have to, take out one of the words, not two. also, if you have been officially diagnosed, include that in your essay. and finally, i would like to see you elaborate about your experiences obtainging your brown belt (good job by the way! :) ). good luck on your essay!</p>
<p>I believe that you should leave "shy" and "reticent" and ditch "reserved".</p>
<p>One common Asperger's symptom is poor fine-motor skills. If this is a problem for you, consider mentioning it in your struggle to achieve brown belt level. Also, you say that you are not good at expressing yourself verbally. You should leave that out, as aspies tend to have excellent verbal skills. Including it doesn't lead the Adcom to believe your story without the mention of a professional diagnosis. What people with the syndrome usually lack is a firm comprehension of non-verbal social cues. From what you've written, that seems to be what you DO have going for you.</p>