<p>Romani, you’re consistently out of the norm on a lot of things; it’s part of your persona to be different. </p>
<p>“My parents have also shared hotel rooms with opposite-gender people while on business or personal trips. No big deal.”</p>
<p>I don’t believe this. I do not believe that opposite-gender people (not involved) shared a room on a business trip unless it was a true emergency situation. And if they had to, I’m quite sure they changed in the bathroom, and someone slept on a chair or floor. </p>
<p>"think my child would have issues being assigned a random roommate of the opposite gender freshman year.’</p>
<p>Haven’t read the whole thread so this might have already been mentioned. My son’s college has gender neutral housing for everyone except for freshman (who are randomly assigned a roommate.) I doubt any college with random roommate assignment for freshman would assign a roommate of the opposite sex. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Suppose you have 3 men, 3 women, and 3 hotel rooms (2 beds each, no rollaway beds available) available. What would you do then?</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Sounds like a SAT math problem. ;)) </p>
<p>In real life, the answer would probably depend on the relative ranks of the people involved.
The highest ranking (manager/ vp/ whatever) would get a solo room.
Other 2 of the same gender room together, the other 3 of the same gender suck it up and squeeze together.
Or someone goes to a different hotel.</p>
<p>Well, obviously somewhere in that scenario a man and a woman would have to pair up and share a room. Duh. </p>
<p>But that doesn’t mean that it’s routinely done or that the business would have considered that the preferred practice. Because in the adult world, there is a societal norm against sharing a room with someone of the opposite gender with whom one is not romantically involved. </p>
<p>Let’s put it another way. My clients are the ones who pay for my business travel. In particular high-cost cities, they might request (though not demand) that I share a hotel room with my (female) business partner. They would never request that I share a hotel room with a male business partner. You seriously don’t get that that would be considered odd and inappropriate? </p>
<p>Why do you think there are no co-ed bathrooms at restaurants, stores, other public places? Why do you think that every gym out there has a women’s locker room and a men’s locker room? </p>
<p>My son ( a senior) lives in a college owned house that is broken up into 1 bedroom apartments. He lives with another guy & girl. He shares the bedroom with the girl (I don’t know if its platonic or not) and the other guy sleeps in a partitioned off space in the living room/kitchen. </p>
<p>I don’t think my D’s would like a randomly assigned opposite gender roommate. But if they wanted to make their choice later than I’d be fine with it.</p>
<p>I am with romani on not being shy about changing in front of other people. I was when I was younger, college age, but as I get older, I care less and less. (There is less reason to show off, too!)</p>
<p>I can’t imagine being shy about changing in front of my immediate family, boys included. This is a cultural thing. Americans are more nervous about being naked in front of others.</p>
<p>Assigning random roommates without regard to gender obviously won’t work, and I don’t think most colleges are seriously considering it.</p>
<p>Mostly, we’re talking about upperclassmen here, and they want to be able to do on-campus what they have long done off-campus, which is to share an apartment/suite/group of rooms in any way they like. This often involves both men and women living in the same apartment or suite. It rarely involves sharing of bedrooms by a man and a woman who are not romantic partners.</p>
<p>The main problem I see with this is the question of what happens if someone moves out. In the off-campus situation, this is the residents’ problem. They have to find a substitute roommate. And if they don’t, either the ex-resident continues to pay rent or everyone else’s rent goes up, depending on circumstances. But on-campus, it’s the university’s responsibility to fill housing slots. If one student in a co-ed situation leaves, for example because he/she has dropped out of college, how does the university fill the empty bed?</p>
<p>I’d leave that totally up to the kids. They probably wouldn’t want a random bedroom mate of the opposite gender, but would welcome the ability to room with a friend of either gender as a choice. I think it’s great that colleges offer this choice. I doubt either would have a problem (and would likely enjoy) mixed company in a suite from the beginning. I’m not sure if my son’s school allows mixed gender suites. They probably do, since they offer gender neutral housing. </p>
<p>Men and women can be friends without romantic entanglements. I’m glad colleges are starting to realize this. </p>
<p>If one of my kids wanted to room with a romantic partner, I’d advise they just get a single instead, so that they maintain some space when needed. I’ve been married for over 20 years and would kill for my own bedroom! </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>So can same-gender people even if some or all of them are LGB.</p>
<p>true ^</p>
<p>
How is that different from a student in a single sex situation leaving because he/she dropped out of college?</p>
<p>Never lived in the dorms, but I was in a mixed house where everyone had their own room for a year and a half. Lots of hanky-panky. Just sayin’. </p>
<p>With regard to the comfort situation, freshman year S was in a typical double. His roommate’s GF spent so much time there (day and night) that it was more like a triple. S had to de facto deal with male and female roommates in a small space. Hanky-panky included. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It’s different because the women in the co-ed situation – regardless of whether they’re the ones staying in the suite or the one who’s joining the group – may feel unsafe living with one or more male strangers, even if they would feel safe living with male friends.</p>
<p>This is, perhaps, a sad commentary on our society, but it’s true.</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine being shy about changing in front of my immediate family, boys included. This is a cultural thing. Americans are more nervous about being naked in front of others.”</p>
<p>Yep, well, this is an American-oriented board reflecting American cultural norms.</p>
<p>How many adult women here would change clothing nonchalantly / matter-of-factly in front of your adult brother? Your father? Your college-age son? Your college-age son’s best male friend? Your best friend’s husband? </p>
<p>Obviously we’re excluding emergency situations or medical settings, so we don’t all get caught up in those. </p>
<p>Because I don’t for one minute believe that all of the twenty-somethings who are so “cool” and casual about changing in front of similar-age male friends would feel that way in front of their friends’ fathers. </p>
<p>I would not be happy randomly assigned to sleep next to a male stranger. Sorry.</p>
<p>When I am in Europe, I have no issue using co-ed bathrooms, but most of those stalls are fully enclosed, so plenty of privacy. </p>
<p>Not every cultural taboo is pernicious. While I probably couldn’t give you a single rational basis for the fact that I’d be comfortable undressing in front of my lesbian friends but not my gay ones, I don’t think this is an attitude I need to work to overcome, because it doesn’t lead to negative consequences. As long as we are respectful of people who don’t subscribe to these prevailing cultural norms, or who are in a position where those norms might indeed prove inapplicable if not damaging - i.e, by giving students the opportunity to live with someone of the opposite sex if they choose, or by not throwing a conniption fit if someone of ambiguous gender presentation uses a particular bathroom – I don’t see the problem.</p>
<p>I mean, eating turkey on Thanksgiving is also an arbitrary cultural practice. That doesn’t make it automatically suspect. </p>
<p>
One of DS’s friends has a GF for 2 years going to another school in another city which is about 3 hours away by car. (They do not have a car though. So they take the bus when they need to meet each other.) </p>
<p>Whenever she visits her BF (roughly twice a semester), her BF lets her sleep in his room (which is a single) and he himself crashes on the floor in DS’s room. I heard they have been introduced to the parents on both sides and have almost engaged.</p>
<p>This is likely not the norm for the young generation.</p>