So I was surprised to find out that DD’s school-to-be, a mainstream research U, allows mixed gender dorm rooms. Not for incoming freshmen, but upper class(wo)men can request to share a room with anyone, regardless of gender.
This does not bother me in the least, but curious as to whether this is a common practice at colleges these days? We had mixed gender bathrooms in the 70s but did not realize that things had moved beyond that 
It’s becoming more common the last few years. My son’s roommate his senior year was female.
My D’s school- NYU -does it, and D’s roommate her this past year (sophomore) was male. He is gay and she is straight- whole thing was never an issue.
When my oldest D visited Pitzer 6 years ago they described their roommate request form. It had the standard quiet/loud and early-birdy/night-owl stuff, but there was also a section where you could put your gender and orientation and request a roommate with a specific gender and orientation (or put that you didn’t care or whatever). With my HS junior D none of our tour guides have mentioned mixed gender rooms.
People have been doing this off-campus for a couple of generations, and nobody has ever seemed to care. I don’t think it’s a big deal on campus, either.
Isn’t usually a case of a boyfriend and girlfriend sharing a bedroom off campus? I think the dynamic of a one bedroom dorm room is a little different, but if both parties are okay with it, I don’t have a problem with it.
This is increasing, especially at private schools, but it’s far from universally allowed. In my experience, it’s mainly chosen when one roommate is gay or trans.
College couples are usually not quite foolish enough to move in together in one room. I have seen a few gay pairs try it, though. Off-campus apartments usually have more than just a bedroom, so at least you can go sulk in the kitchen if you have a fight.
A lot of my son’s friends roomed with their bf/gf’s -especially Sr. yr. Since almost sll the students on his campus live on campus all 4 years it’s not surprising and this way a roommate who would be inconvenienced by having to find someplace else to crash is avoided.
Re #5
Likely that lots of nontraditional students are living off campus with SOs or spouses.
It is allowed at D2’s school.
Much more common in the past several years due to increasing acceptance of gender fluidity and gender not necessarily being binary.
Allowed at Northeastern as Gender Neutral housing only (you must request it)
Had no idea that it had become so mainstream. Interesting that it never came up once during the many info sessions and tours we took at colleges. The coed bathrooms came up during several tours, perhaps because that affects everyone while the coed rooms do not. There was one father during a Pomona tour who was quite scandalized that they had coed bathrooms. Wonder what he’d think about coed rooms.
I remember coed bathrooms in dorms decades ago. These were mentioned in various housing documents, so that students could choose single gender floors if that bothered them. But it appeared that coed floors (with the coed bathrooms) were more popular, since they only end up with one single gender floor of each gender, with the rest coed, due to preferences marked by students on housing forms.
It’s also allowed at my daughter’s SUNY school. Only on one floor in one dorm, and you have to request it.
LOL, my D didn’t even want to go to a school where she had to share a common bathroom with men. Seems a bit inconvenient to me, having to (or not I guess) use the bathrooms to get dressed, etc. And even if you get along and choose your one male roommate, not sure I’d want all his pals in my room too. But each to their own. If they don’t care or choose to do so, why should anyone else care?
At Bates the policy is that every dorm room is gender neutral except rooms designated for Freshman only. There are also two single sex houses (the school has both reg dorms and houses converted into dorms.)
Maybe there are no questions about it on tours because not many people know about it yet as it’s a relatively new policy at most schools.
My S was in overflow housing with his gf (they chose to gamble and turned down a suite with others) and were in a one bedroom apt. In a house the school owns. They had a third friend in the apt. for a few weeks who slept in a sectioned off part of the living room but he wasn’t happy and was able to get a single in another house.
It was a really nice little apt. with a mini kitchen and a beautiful (but non working) fireplace in the lvrm. They also had a staff cleaning person who came in once a week and cleaned the whole apartment.
I think anyone who would be uncomfortable for any reason just wouldn’t choose to have a roommate of the opposite sex. Also, regarding getting dressed/undressed - students are on all different schedules so they aren’t getting up at the same times/going to sleep at the same times as their roommates.
Oberlin does it. I think it’s pretty common. I don’t like it, but I graduated from college 30 years ago.
That said, I will not pay for either of my kids to shack up with a GF/BF while they are in college. They can do that on their own dime.
^Agreed. But…what I don’t know won’t hurt me/ Sometimes when my kids open up about certain things, I shut them down. Really? I don’t need to know everything about your life. I’m not your friend, I’m your mother LOL
My guess is that if your son/daughter has a bf/gf they are already spending many nights in each other’s rooms anyway. 