Posting this coming from a place of much love & respect for parents of children on the autism spectrum. I have a question for all of you.
Would you allow your 10th grade ASD kiddo to go on a high school-sponsored trip to Europe?
Neither of my kids are on the spectrum, so I haven’t had to deal with any of this first hand. ODD (11th grade) is going on a school-sponsored & chaperoned 9-day language-focused trip to France at the end of this school year. Total of 14 kids are going. Students will be attending a French language class for 3 hr every morning and then there will be an organized activity in the afternoon. Lunch is on your own with your assigned fellow student (nobody allowed to wander off on their own). Breakfasts, dinner, & evenings are at home with the host family the kids are staying with. 2-4 students staying in each host family’s home.
There was an info session/logistics meeting yesterday evening at school, in which the French teacher explained how everything’s going to work. 1 of the kids attending, from my layman’s eyes at least, is clearly on spectrum. He had a lot of questions surrounding whether they’d get any alone time on the trip (pretty much the answer is no, unless you’re in bed in the evening, and students are expected to engage w/each other and w/others they’re with, not have your nose in your phone or on a tablet the entire time). This particular student was in ODD’s chemistry class last year…she commented to me on the way home yesterday evening that last year in class, he would pace and walk laps around the classroom, one time even climbing over her while she was in her chair because the classroom was a bit cramped this one day and he couldn’t get by.
(edited to add: the above are not the only reasons why I suspected that the student is on spectrum, this is just an example or 2).
I’m asking this because I’d like to learn and understand. If you were considering something like this, what would some of the factors be in your decision? What sort of adaptations would you be advising your child on for such a trip?
I would not have had my child with “mild” ASD go on an overseas trip at that age unless I was one of the chaperones. But I know lots of kids with ASD, and for some of them it would be totally fine.
Some kids with ASD are… I guess you would say different outwardly, or present in an atypical manner. However, they have perfectly reasonable coping skills and ability to manage unfamiliar situations.
My son is extremely anxious in unfamiliar situations, and struggles with unexpected changes to plans. He also has poor emotional regulation. That means if he gets upset, he might have a “meltdown“ (which for him have never been violent, but more like a crying, emotional storm that you might expect from a much younger child). But I know other kids with ASD who actually don’t struggle with unfamiliar situations or changes to plans much at all, and have relatively good emotional regulation. Maybe those kids have more sensory challenges, and have ways to manage them.
I would trust the school to be familiar with the child, and help the parents decide if the trip was a good fit for him. I could also see a situation where a family might not think the trip was a good idea, but they would like their child to come to that conclusion on his own. We have done that often with our son. We think a particular event might be beyond what he can handle, even as a stretch, but part of the process of growing is getting information and thinking through what it would be like for him, and whether it might be a challenge that would be positive.
For instance, my son wanted to be in a musical when he was in middle school. We had a feeling the disorganization of practices, and uncertainty surrounding what would be done each day, and the required flexibility would be a little more than he was able to handle at that point. However, it didn’t feel right to tell him he could not do it. And it was fairly low risk. So we discussed with him what it might be like and what some of the challenges were, and how he might deal with them. He also talked to the people running the program. In the end, he went to the first two practices, and then decided it was too stressful. But the process of getting information and deciding on his own was more independence building and encouraged more growth than if we had just told him we didn’t think it was a good idea.
Autism covers a lot of ground as an overall label, and there could be other reasons for the behavior you describe. I am not sure why you are asking. Do you have some concern for your own child?
The Americans with Disabilities Act prohibits discrimination for challenges like autism, and if the child has a 504 or IEP, I imagine the school and parents will work together on a plan to make this possible, without impacting anyone else.
I have a kid with type 1 diabetes. The school had to change the class trip to accommodate her. For most trips or events, I had to go along. Legally the school should not have required that but my participation was the only way to keep her safe.
A person who is on the spectrum and high functioning would be a lot safer than my daughter, but perhaps the parent is planning on going along.
Was just wondering what sort of factors come into the decision making process for parents who have a kid on the spectrum. No offense intended whatsoever in the question.
No.
I personally don’t know if the student could regulate his behaviors given changes to an international itinerary.
Lots of people in airports and their behaviors could trigger any behaviors for the child including: movements, conversations, airliner announcements, unfamiliar staff.
Flight delays, lost luggage, overbooked flights, overhead bin issues, unfamiliar smells and scents, etc. may cause problems; we just don’t know what will trigger some behavioral issues.
I would feel for the child because it’s really not their fault that certain things may trigger the anxiety.
I am hoping all goes well but you just never know that’s why I would just say no. I’m happy that the parents are supportive of their child but we just don’t know.
Edited to add: the parents need to go on the trip as chaperones because as parents, they tend to know which parent can keep the student calm with certain feedback.
No, because I’d be worried that their social disability would interfere with their functioning on the trip. But every parent has to decide this for their own child. If your child does wind up going on a trip with an ASD kid, please encourage them to take the lead to be friendly and supportive to that child, and to recruit their friends to do the same.
Personally, I thought that these brief school trips were overpriced, and that the kids wound up speaking more English to each other than the foreign language to the residents of that country. Instead, through friends, I arranged summer-long exchanges, where my kids spent a summer living with a family in the target language country. Total immersion, and a lot cheaper, plus life-long friendships were established.
As others have been, autism covers a wide variety and combination of traits and potential issues. I have two autistic nephews. I couldn’t see one ever going on such a trip. But my other, he was an exchange student in China (pre-covid) for a year in high school. He is definitely quirky, but apparently his quirks fit in much better over there.
He actually was going to live and work over there after college, but his flight was just a couple of days after they shut the borders down for covid. His job tried to wait for a few months, but eventually it was a no go.
I have seen kids that were at least somewhat quiet, shy, and awkward come back from overseas trips with a big smile, and appearing to have become more confident, independent, and happier and stronger as a result of the trip.
I think that it depends upon the particular child.
In any case, there is a wide variation of persons within the ASD grouping, particularly now that it has been merged with Asperger’s. Some persons in this grouping are high functioning and can function as well as the typical non-ASD student on an overseas trip. Others are low enough functioning that it would not be appropriate to be in a standard HS classroom. There is not a simple answer to the title question. It depends on the particular ASD kid and details of the trip.
My daughter went on such a trip when she was a junior (just 16) and while she doesn’t have autism, she has ADHD, was pretty immature (too trusting), and spacey. There were several teachers going (but it was really an independent tour company (EF) running it) and several parents going along.
I have to say I was pretty happy to see a live child, with a passport hanging around her neck, get off that plane. She was really sick but made it. She didn’t have any issues but a few kids (who were with an adult) did get robbed in Paris. They were getting money from an outdoor ATM. At night.
Same kid went to Europe last summer for a 3 week course with a professor from her college and then traveled for a week with friends and then did 10 days of research at Oxford for her thesis. She was 26 and I still worried.
A friend who does have autism and several other medical conditions went to Poland and Israel with her summer camp and did fine, but it was heavily supervised at all times.
My son will go on such a trip his senior year. He has autism, started his schooling in special education, then transitioned to gen Ed over time. He’s independent in school now as a freshman taking honors classes. He has his quirks and social difficulties, but he’s generally well liked, gets invited to birthday parties, plays sports badly, etc… He definitely likes his routine and is a rule follower. If anything, he’ll keep his peers on time for check-ins. He’s been through thousands of hours of behavioral therapy and self regulates pretty well. He’s gone to camp the last three years with his peers and he’s done fine.
I have a son with mild autism. He is currently attending virtual school because he was struggling in regular school, even with classroom supports. In our situation, I would be extremely apprehensive about letting him go on such a trip. Autistic kids crave routines and rules. They do best when they know what to expect. They have trouble with emotional regulation and tend to have rigid thoughts and behaviors. They are also socially awkward. All of these things combined don’t seem compatible with the trip’s open-ended agenda IMHO.
However, autism is a spectrum disorder and some autistic kids are high functioning and do quite well in a mainstream environment with neurotypical kids. My child would probably be okay for the first day, then have meltdowns for the rest of the trip. Being away from home for an extended amount of time without a chaperone equipped to handle a difficult child sounds like a disaster in the making. Perhaps you can persuade the parent of the child in question to be a chaperone on the trip?
None of the parents are chaperoning the trip. And I don’t know the kid’s parents, so I’m definitely not going to insert myself into their family’s decisions. They know their kid better than anybody else would!
Here’s the thing, it’s hard to speak for someone else’s child. My child has autism, not mild autism, not asd. But, we’ve done the work. He’s had 20-30 hours a week of behavioral therapy his entire young childhood. He was in an ABA classroom. He will be an independent college educated adult. He knows how to behave and self regulate. He will benefit from as much supervised time in unexpected situations as possible. I wouldn’t hesitate from sending him on his senior trip, but I don’t know what another child’s situation is.
Yes, every situation is different. As I mentioned, I wouldn’t have sent my younger nephew on such a trip. It wouldn’t be the meltdowns in unfamiliar situations that concerned me. He used to have those terribly when he was young. I don’t notice them much now. He’s a super sweet, positive kid. Loved by everyone in his community. But we went on such a trip with him a few years ago. The biggest issue was his tendency to just wander off. He’d see something he’d like and he’d be gone. Someone had to watch out for him all the time. And he loved to just walk up and talk to strangers about odd things. This might be cute for a kid, but a 20 something year old guy it could be seen as creepy, though I think most people could tell he wasn’t “normal.” But then the other concern is that he is so sweet and trusting, anyone could easily take advantage of him too.
My other nephew has some of these issues too, but the wandering off problem wasn’t there.
I’m thinking the school and the teacher are fully aware of the student’s challenges, right? The student likely has an IEP and regular meetings with the parents and school to make sure special needs are met. I would hope that the school is preparing with the parents for the best way to help the student on the trip.
My high school nephew with ASD is on a team that travels regularly for competition on the weekends. The school requires a parent to go with him because they don’t think he is ready to manage without that. He needs help when plans change, and when his expectations don’t match reality. He also does not intuitively know that some things are against the rules without being directly told, which can get him into trouble. However, he’s in 9th grade. I could see him maturing and being able to handle the trip without a parent in the future.
I hope your D has a wonderful time! I went on a school trip like this in high school and it was a positive and mind-opening experience. I do hope she, or some student on the trip, is mature enough to be a friend to the student with ASD. My nephew is often lonely, which breaks our hearts, although we understand that many people can’t get past his quirky behavior.
Every autistic or ASD kid is different. My nephew is a high functioning autistic man, but he would simply be unable to handle a trip like this, nor would he want to. OTOH, I’ve worked with ASD kids who go on these school trips.
Some “regular” kids wouldn’t be able to handle it either, and others would. I don’t see the problem. If the kid wants to go and the kid and parents think they can handle it, let them go.
Would I have let my DD go in 10th grade? The answer is, it depends. It would depend on the chaperones, itinerary, teachers, accommodations, travel arrangements, support needs…
Things as a parent of an autistic child that would help me decide:
Are their ticks (self-soothing mannerisms like pacing dangerous to self or others.
Can they self-regulate ( i.e. are they in the stage of being able to self-soothe through meltdowns).
Do they elope; this is a huge safety issue. Current elopement = full time aide.
Can they handle money and debit/credit cards on their own?
Can they navigate on their own their own?
Do they self-advocate; will they order food as restaurants or seek out police, etc in case of emergencies?
I could probably write 20 other things I as a parent use before making this type of decision.
For a little background: DD was diagnosed right before her 2nd birthday. She was 299.0 “Autistic Disorder” with a GAF score of 30. This was at the time of Aspergers diagnoses as well; under current criteria, she would’ve been Level 3. We had no hope at that age and were told she would always be under our care. Going back and reading her reports still makes me cry. She had significant delays; she was non- verbal until Kindergarten, had trouble walking, eating, etc. We used modified ASL, and she wouldn’t feed herself; she had dangerous elopement episodes (she almost drowned when she was 3). We had an amazing Early Intervention team; they put her into every therapy they could think of occupational, speech, behavioral, physical…We had her in a specialized playgroup with United Cerebral Palsy to adjust to other kids, rules, schedules, stimuli; it was all at their own pace. By 3rd grade they realized she was gifted in math and science; something no one knew because she was locked inside her own mind so to speak. Over the years we started with things like dance and gymnastics to build social skills and work on her coordination and physical strength. After a decade of various therapies, she was was able to try overnight outings with her swim team, then longer weekend trips, then week long training trips. It was a process of exposure and preparation to learn what to do in different situations and emergencies. This included things like self defense, ordering/paying/tipping at restaurants, taking public transportation; in the early years we went along as her personal teacher/aide. Her whole life were lessons to prepare her to be on her own. She was a rising freshman the first time we sent her on a week long training trip without us to another state on her very first day with a new team in a new city, something I couldn’t have imagined or even hoped for 12 years prior. Her coaches were well aware of her diagnoses and limitations. They created a plan much like an IEP of what they would do if issues arose; this included the possibility of me driving/flying to get her. After each adventure, we had a debrief with DD to discuss what happened and how she could address problems in the future. From middle school to now, a phone has been a critical tool for her; from decompression to texting me to work through meltdowns. Her phone plays a crucial role. It isn’t necessarily her being anti-social, but her self-regulating.
To think a student couldn’t/shouldn’t go on a trip because of a particular diagnosis or an outward behavior like pacing is a bit of a stretch. Pacing doesn’t equal elopement, just as being quiet and on their phone doesn’t equal non-engaging. You and your DD simply don’t have enough information, experience or education to determine if this young man should/shouldn’t go on the trip. Perhaps she could use the experience to become a leader in inclusivity. I am forever grateful to the lone girl who reached out to my DD on that first week long trip; she saw through DD’s quirks and was able to chip through her protective wall. I credit her for teaching age appropriate social interactions that I and her teachers/therapists couldn’t possibly have done. Obviously that’s not your daughter’s job or obligation, but just leading the way in dissuading potential bullying from other classmates would be a great learning experience. I hope your daughter has a wonderful trip; I still remember my French exchange trip in HS, one of the best experiences of my life!
I could have written so much of your post about my son! The meltdowns, elopement, etc… was so scary when he was little. Once he could communicate effectively and not just repeat things he heard, we realized he had significant intellectual gifts. Rock on mama. This road hasn’t been easy, but it’s been so rewarding to watch my son grow into the man he’s meant to be.
