<p>Point granted. (There are also people with much higher incomes, and much higher debts.) Still really a tiny number.</p>
<p>I don’t know that the numbers are tiny for those with assets but not a lot of income. The stat of 1/3rd of US households owning their homes free and clear is a reminder that there is still a ton of wealth in households that haven’t been stolen by the financial industry.</p>
<p>There are still lots of employees that work at lots of companies with stock options that can hit it big in asset without necessarily earning a lot annually (cough, cough, Apple).</p>
<p>It also depends on how many children you have, and if any of them have special needs or health problems, or if you have aging parents you need to help, and if you live in an expensive urban location where even a two bedroom apartment costs $1 million. I say the $175-250 number is low. Life is complicated. </p>
<p>I’d pay the NY discounted price for Cornell. Full-freight nowhere. It’s just too much.</p>
<p>OP, we did it.
Chose to pay full freight for both kids’ private colleges and there was a 2 year overlap in which both of them were in college. Our instate back ups were UC Berkeley, UCLA, and UC San Diego.Both kids were accepted to all 3.
We made our choices despite lack of long-term plans. One never knows whether we should have saved for grad school because at age 18, it was unfair to make our kids decide what their occupational goals were beyond learning, exploring and doing well and having fun in college.</p>
<p>Good post, CBreeze. That is what I think MiamiDAP completely fails to comprehend. While D of MiamiDAP didn’t change her goal of going to medical school after college, MANY young people truly have no idea what they want to do, and of those that think they do, perhaps the majority change their minds! That is why it is important to be at a college that offers other academic options, a compatible peer group (academically and socially) and the flexibility to change directions. That doesn’t mean you have to choose a highly selective college and/or pay full freight, but the choice to do so is certainly a valid one and one we made for both our kids as well.</p>
<p>Can’t you change directions at any school?</p>
<p>And cbreeze, you chose to pay full freight because your financial circumstances allowed you to do so.</p>
<p>We are in that same predicament. Too much savings from living frugally for years to qualify for aid, but not able/willing to go full freight with two more kids to go, while at the same time depleting our retirement funds.</p>
<p>We are paying full freight for D rather than taking a full ride at state U. D is getting top program in her field, small classes, 4 year grad rate close to 100%, great alumni network and placement services, and a school filled with very accomplished students. Many kids at state U are bright, I know, but D felt the average academic standard was higher where she is. H and I both work full time, have saved for years, and live frugally so D can go. We realize we are very fortunate. Decision would have been different if it had involved significant debt.</p>
<p>redpoint,
If you decide, as did both of mine, that although you started out in one major you preferred to go into engineering, you/they would each have had to transfer if they could not have changed directions at their schools.</p>
<p>TV4caster, You’ve said your daughter already has an acceptance to one of the schools in the initial post (UVa) and you are instate , so luckily you would not have to pay $50,000 + for your daughter to attend. If she wants to go to an expensive private, that’s a different story. We were in the same bind-could handle full pay instate but didn’t feel we had the funds to pay more for a really expensive private. Luckily, we are also in Virginia and UVa worked out VERY well.</p>
<p>SE- Yeah, we are lucky, but I guess I should have been more detailed. Whether comparing cheaper IS choices vs OOS choices, or IS vs more expensive OOS schools that she perceives as a better fit, the same problem exists re aid. Her first choice unfortunately is not UVA (although I’m making progress along that front <vbg>). Her real first choice is Emory which is of course 55k+.</vbg></p>
<p>MiamiDAP, why did you feel it important to pay for a private prep school for your daughter? You espouse the point that it was very important to you that your D go to UG for free, but what is the difference if somebody went to public schools then chose to pay for UG? You stilll payed for her education.</p>
<p>“We are in that same predicament. Too much savings from living frugally for years to qualify for aid, but not able/willing to go full freight with two more kids to go, while at the same time depleting our retirement funds.”</p>
<p>Doesn’t sound like a predicament to me at all. You said “not able/willing”. So it’s a clear “no”. You might have regrets, but it is still a clear “no”. Why predicament?</p>
<p>mini, That is kind of what we did with our sons. We were clear before applications were made as to what we felt we could pay-and that was instate tuition. TV4caster,Since you’ve said you’re not able/willing to pay for a $55,000 college, it may be a good idea to make that very clear to your daughter before she gets her hopes up about Emory(if no merit aid comes along from Emory). Good luck!</p>
<p>“Doesn’t sound like a predicament to me at all. You said ‘not able/willing’. So it’s a clear “no”. You might have regrets, but it is still a clear “no”. Why predicament?”</p>
<p>Because in theory we are able, just not able to do it without depleting our resources that we will definitely need in the future. </p>
<p>My point was simply to show that there are more than a “thin slice” of people with the problem, and that we get penalized for not living beyond our means like so many others. I sometimes kiddingly say that I should have spent all my money instead of saving it because I would have saved more by all the need based aid that my D would have gotten.</p>
<p>“We are in that same predicament. Too much savings from living frugally for years to qualify for aid, but not able/willing to go full freight with two more kids to go, while at the same time depleting our retirement funds.”</p>
<p>Doesn’t sound like a predicament to me at all. You said “not able/willing”. So it’s a clear “no”. You might have regrets, but it is still a clear “no”. Why predicament?</p>
<p>SE- she know that. Where I see a potential problem is if she gets some kind of merit aid or FA that brings the cost down to 30 some thousand instead of 55k. “Aw Dad, isn’t it worth the extra 10k per year for me to be really happy” :(</p>
<p>Having the savings gives you more options. It might mean not getting a discount but you can make the choice while those that don’t have the savings have to take a school that offers a discount or go into debt.</p>
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<p>Seems like that is the best way to do it, but it also seems like a lot of students are let down because the cost limits were not clearly given before the applications were decided on.</p>
<p>Sorry. I confess that I have not read this entire thread. I basically just read the OP’s post and then skimmed the rest. </p>
<p>But anyway, OP, I would not pay full-tuition for any one of those schools! Not for undergrad anyway. It seems to me that lots of people who can get into the schools on your list can also get massive scholarships to attend schools that aren’t on your list. That has been my family’s experience anyway.</p>
<p>State flagships and somewhat-lesser-known private schools will often pay top dollar for top candidates. And so, in my family, the choice has often come down to 1/2 to 2/3-tuition scholarships to a ‘high-prestige’ school or full-tuition/free-ride scholarships to an also-excellent school that is not necessarily on “everybody’s” list. We think we’re being so smart by taking the free education at the ‘lesser-ranked’ school each time! 
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<p>None of my kids have looked back! They’ve each been very happy with their choices. And when you’re the big fish on campus – one of the ones that the college tried hard to recruit, you seem to get a lot of extra opportunities from the get-go. And those opportunities tend to build on each other. Bonus!</p>
<p>mnmomof2 said this:</p>
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<p>And those are good points – they’re things that I worried about for my kids as well, when they turned down higher-ranked or ‘more prestigious’ schools for (idk) ‘less-adored’ privates and a state flagship. But I can tell you that each one of them has found all those same things at their ‘lower-prestige’ schools. It works BECAUSE: the kids who do well at the schools you named will do well at the lesser-ranked schools, too. And because of that, they can likely find a top program in their field (I mean, ‘top programs’ exist for nearly all majors at a whole host of different schools); small classes (if you’re a top student, then you can take honors sections, test out of the huge freshman classes because of AP credits, and start at the sophomore or junior level in many of your core-type classes); a 4 year grad rate for themselves (which is all that counts really, right?) as well as their like-minded peers; similarly great network and placement services (I’m not talking about attending a dump – there are LOTS of great schools that are widely respected but NOT on your list); and a department filled with very accomplished students. There are very accomplished students at nearly every school. And if YOU’RE very accomplished, you WILL end up interacting with the OTHER very accomplished kids – through academics, honors, social groups, etc.</p>
<p>The trick is compiling a college wish list that only includes great-fit schools. Apply to the MIT’s and the Rice U’s if you wish (and my kids did – and were accepted), but also apply to the Michigan’s and UT’s and Lawrence U’s (WI) and SMU’s, or whatever. If every school on your list has the things you’re looking for (in this example, those might be: top notch program in your field, small classes for YOU, high potential of graduating in 4 years for YOU, great network in your field), then you can’t go wrong!</p>
<p>One of my sons recently turned down a totally free freshman year at MIT! :o That one hurt ME, I gotta say. But the free-ride was based almost entirely on grants with merit-based AND need-based elements – meaning, there were no guarantees after freshman year. The aid could have gone down significantly in future years. (These sorts of grants aren’t like 4-year pure-merit scholarships.) And how much of a bummer would it be if you had to leave MIT 2 or 3 years down the road because you could no longer afford it? And so … he chose a school where they would pay HIM thousands of dollars a year to attend. Guaranteed. He’s very, very happy with his choice. The school he chose is top in his field; his classes are small; he’ll easily graduate in 4 years; the school is known for its networking; and he’s surrounded by other brilliant students (3 of whom also turned down MIT, it turns out!!). </p>
<p>The schools on your list are still going to be there come grad school.</p>
<p>So, in sum, I would apply to a good healthy range of schools – including some in the categories you’ve named (as long as they’re all great fits), but I would NOT pay full price to attend any of them. No way! :)</p>
<p>(Of course, people with the money have a different choice to make. If I truly HAD an extra $250,000 laying around for the projected cost of MIT over 4 years, AND my retirement funds were already assured, THEN my son might be at MIT today. But … there’s always tomorrow. For grad school! :))</p>