S is struggling with writing these two short personal statements for MSU:
Describe a difficult or challenging situation you have faced. Briefly state the situation, how you responded and why, would you have done anything differently, did you turn to anyone for help, and if so for advice, consultation, assistance, and/or encouragement?
Briefly describe a situation where you or someone close to you was not treated fairly. What did you do at the time and why, would you do anything differently, has it impacted or changed who you are today.
He is kind of stuck because no matter what he does, the word limit gets in the way. If he tries to stay within that limit, the essay reads more like a “witness’s account” and less like an essay, if that makes sense.
Tell him to Write the essay and aim for 500 words in the first daft. Then have someone help him edit it down. You can or ask a friend who is a good writer. I do this all,the time for the kids of friends. It really helps to keep them from being stuck by not focusing too much on the 200 word limit initially
When I was in Metaphysics class, the professor said to write a two-page paper. He said, “I know, the political science students want to write ten pages, but for most of us, two pages is good.” Then, he added, “And the engineering students would think that one well-phrased sentence would do.” I thought, “Yes! You get me.”
In my head, 200 words is not an essay. It’s one or two paragraphs. So just give the “short answer” and not focus so much on thinking it’s an “essay” – you’re telling a quick story and answering a question, not crafting beautiful prose.
Maybe treat it like an abstract. Kids sometimes like to include every, “Then I…” and “And he answered…” Just the overview. It doesn’t need to be a 100% recounting, just enough.
But remember, these prompts are part about the word limit challenge and a large part about what he “shows.” Meaning, his thinking, what he chooses, and the right attributes. Think about that.
200 words is a page, no? NYU used to have some that had much shorter limits.
Keep in mind, it should be less a witness account than what he learned or how he reacted to the event. The essay is about your student, not the event. The event could be as short as a couple sentences. “My best friend was xxxxx and other students made fun of him for this.” (more descriptive and better written obviously). The remainder should be what your student learned, or something he did in reaction to this, or what he will take with him going forward. They want to know the character and maturity of the student they are going to admit. These kind of essays tell them this.
When students first start writing essays, they have to get out of the habit of the big long background story set up part. They don’t have the words like they do writing essays in class where they are trying to fill page after page.
Like the quote says - “I’d have written a shorter letter if I had more time” - you draft the concept, then spend considerable more time editing and crafting it down.
Rather than try to cut a full blown essay from 500, he needs summarize. X words to describe the situation, X to describe how he responded, and a few less to muse.
Just tell your son that it is like telling a story in an elevate ride with strangers, and not only they understand the story, impressed with how you deliver it, and also remember your name. It’s doable. I think some presentation class or salesman traning have such program.
“@maya54 When you edit a 500-word essay into 200 words, does it still read like an essay?”
It reads more like a short answer. But having worked with many kids I find this method best when they get stuck on the limits. In my real job I edit co-workers writing all the time to fit in court proscribed page limits.
It is much easier for someone else to do the editing. It’s much harder to “kill your own Darlings”
“I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.” Blaise Pascal
“There is no great writing, only great rewriting.” Louis Brandeis
Don’t try to write a 200 word essay. Easier to write a 500 word essay and then edit down to 200.
But save the 500 word version for future use for some other college’s 250/300/400 word prompt. Recycle and reuse is the way to go on the app essays.
My last kid basically had two stories to tell (in addition to the bigger Common App essay). In almost every case, one of those two stories (or both) could be used to respond to each school’s prompts. But there were XS/S/M/L/XL versions of the same story.
The year my son applied to Tufts, the “Why Tufts?” essay was 50 words. It was quite a challenge!
I agree with others, stop thinking of it as an essay. Too many kids only know how to do the five paragraph essay, the best college essays are very different. You want a good lead, a punchy conclusion and something in the middle that makes you think - “I’d really like to have this kid as a roommate”, or “I’d like to sit next to him in a classroom.”
I’ve discovered that almost anything I write is better after I’ve made it shorter.
