@GingerLand. Things will get better and your daughter will thrive. I didn’t catch her diagnosis but it’s more important to go to a school that will support her educational needs. Forget about honors. Many of these classes are busy work at some schools.
But also lacs through out the United States. Finding the right program is hard.
My daughter “was” accepted by her number 1 several years ago at Emerson in Boston for costume design /theater production and we couldn’t afford to send her due to low merit. Trust me, that’s the worse! She ended up at her number 2 with merit. Changed direction and now at another lac with great merit and extremely happy and thinking more about going for ma/PhD programs.
Once your daughter lands she will meet her people. Trust me. Also she can’t see you upset about this. It will affect her. I see this all the time. Like the kids get over it much sooner then the parents do.
Have her get excited about her possibilities. Use your energy to be positive. Yes, come here for the pity party!
There are school releases happening right now and some kids have no school to go to. Things can be worse.
Your daughter didn’t do anything wrong. It is what it is. She will figure out how to get “x” class. She can join a dance program outside of school if needed. Persisitsnce wins usually also. It’s also time your daughter takes the lead here. Trust me from experience. Unless it’s like financial aid or money issues let your daughter own it now. This gives her the responsibility of making choices that will effect her future in a positive way.
and especially as applicants. One of my collegekids knew what she wanted and applied ED to a straight match school. Stats way into the 75+% category, good rigor, sat in on classes, spent the night, did the extra supplements- did it all, followed all the rules. Everybody was genuinely shocked when she was deferred. The GC called the local Rep who said that although he had been surprised also, the sheer volume of similar applicants and an increase in applications from other strong candidates in the region pushed her into RD.
A rising tide lifts all boats, and I think everybody here on CC has seen colleges that we wouldn’t have looked at twice back in our own time become competitive. It ripples down, based on sheer volume: even the strongest students can’ be sure of getting into a tippy-top, so they apply to what they see as the ‘next best’ places- increasing both the volume and caliber of applicants.
Also, I want to call out posts suggesting that somehow ‘diversity’ is part of the problem. The fact is that being from certain socio-economic / ethnic / etc groups still makes you more advantaged in the college process than being from others. If you want to rail against unfair advantages, go after colleges with strong legacy policies.
@GingerLand I am sorry that your child had such a rough time in admissions. My D17 is also a ballet dancer with similar academic stats to yours. She did not apply for T-20 schools because we needed merit aid and I think that was a blessing in disguise. Targeting a tier lower yielded pretty good results, but then again, this was two years ago and admissions seems to be a rapidly shifting target these days.
If this helps, with the exception of last year, Case has pulled a reasonable number from its wait list historically so all hope is not yet lost. Second, I know a young woman from MA who was shut out from the top LACs and universities to which she applied. Ended up at U MASS, is pre-med, and within a year was convinced that it had worked out for the best. If she does well academically, there is no reason why she would not be able to place into quality graduate programs in her field of study. I know many young people who went to their in-state public universities and ended up at T-20 grad schools.
The dance program across the college consortium also seems quite good with master classes by known choreographers in residence. Have her check out some videos on youtube and maybe that will make her feel a bit better.
It’s especially tough these days for unhooked kids from New England and the mid Atlantic states. Easier to say, but harder to believe - this is no reflection on her merits. It’s just a harsh landscape.
p.s. If she ends up taking a gap year to try again, Dickinson, Muhlenberg, and St Olaf all have reasonable dance programs and might be possible matches/targets. Dickinson has an affiliation with CPYB and Muhlenberg is also strong in health sciences and musical theater.
The application process seems random from the outside, but in reality the applicant is just another application amongst so many. It may be difficult to bear, but an acceptance/rejection/waitlist doesn’t translate to qualified or accomplished. Their decisions are in no way reflective of one’s potential. They even say that in your decision letter if its a no, and they mean that (no matter how their intentions seem). Thats why the decisions make no sense. One person rejected by Cornell, but gets into Stanford. Lol. One way to put it, is it is the luck of the draw.
@suzyQ7 she goes to a
very small school where guidance
counselors are perhaps not as college savvy as they should be. When rejections started pouring in and when safeties were offering no merit, I contacted her guidance
Counselor who said two people from school had read it and seen nothing wrong. My husband and I also read it. I questioned the choice of essay topic and the one teacher she asked to write a review. He was the sort who was short with people. Even if he likes my
daughter I imagine his language might be lacking.
So, my daughter conferred with the other top kids in her class. These are the National Merit Finalists and the Presidential Scholar Candidates. A kid with a 1600. Frighteningly impressive kids. But kids with no hooks. Middle class, charter school, White New England kids with parents who went to college. They all regret applying EA to one of the ivies. It cut off all their options and they wish someone had told them it was pointless to apply. Their school counselors are not connected with colleges at all, there are no relationships there. So guidance counselors naively told our kids we had a chance at Vassar and Bowdoin and Princeton and Harvard. And we just walked into the slaughter. My daughter’s friend with lower scores got into tufts - but by applying ED. RD is just rough.
Thank you, everyone for your input and suggestions. It has made a rough time, make more sense.
@jmk518: “This all seems strange to me. Did she waive her FERPA? Not doing that could cause a problem I suppose. If she did, I would ask her counselor if s/he can review the letters and see if s/he sees something something that would be a red flag - or something else in the application.”
Can this be done?
(I can imagine an endless stream of parents and students asking for GC reviews before everything is cemented in the outgoing applications, and thus imagine there is probably no blanket policy wherein a GC is obligated to comply with such a request.)
@mamaedefamilia good ideas thank you. We visited Dickinson and sadly ruled it out despite the great dance. The focus and the pitch seemed completely on international and sustainability. My daughter has no interest in either. And the psych department for some reason seems to have been banished to the far side of the rail road tracks with the public safety office.
Given that we don’t know what the diagnosis is, perhaps the problem is that there may have been too much oversharing here. Students here are cautioned not to be so open about mental health issues, for example.
@Waiting2exhale at our school the letter requests are made through Naviance which I think requires it. But I don’t know if all schools handle letters the same way.
I agree with @CheddarcheeseMN. From what you are saying, sounds like she disclosed a learning disability (or mental health issue) in her essays? That could be part of the issue, not always a good idea. I do think you are being overly dramatic about the “slaughter”. Your kid has options. She can go to college in the fall.
I agree with Intlparent. Discussing sensitive topics are not always such a great idea. Admissions decisions are made very quick, and I can see this becoming a potential issue. A counselor has to quickly sort through thousands of computer files with grades/test scores, and the first impression- or quick read of an essay may not always match the correct intentions of an applicant, or the persona they hoped to convey to a new individual.
@GingerLand Are guidance counselors expected to have a relationship with college admissions officers? It wouldn’t seem fair to kids from everywhere else if any counselor had inside information about the selection process, or a kid’s chances to get in.
@intparent My daughter is type 1 diabetic and viewed that quick learning curve of having to handle all of that as her early coming of age and also the reason she is mature, prepared, focused, and concerned about people with chronic conditions.
@OhiBro It is my understanding from my friend who works at a university and who has put kids through this process with much research, that a level of relationship does exist, yes, between schools and universities. My daughter’s school is new and small. We don’t have that advantage except perhaps with one school where a number of our grads have gone.
@GingerLand Your daughter sounds amazing. Again, just a parent, but I can’t imagine talking about her diagnosis in her essay would have had a negative impact. That’s a lot to overcome!
@Knowsstuff Good advice. I’ve been looking at what’s offered at the five college consortium (since she is accepted at two of those schools) and highlighting positives. Mt Holyoke without merit is hard to afford. UMASS is huge but there are people she knows there. I’ve been pushing the positives. Even the noodle shop we loved.
There’s a free bus that connects all of the 5 colleges, and she will be able to take classes and form relationships with faculty at any of those schools.
GingerLand-I’m going to PM you but I also have a high stats daughter who is a ballet dancer (turned down professional company offers; she is more than a hobby dancer, definitely). She was rejected by Brown, Yale, Tufts yesterday. She has other schools she is excited about but 3 rejections was a bit much.