I couldn’t PM you for some reason.
Have you gone to accepted student days yet at the schools she’s been accepted?
@gingerland Has your DD contacted Mt. Holyoke and asked for a little money? It couldn’t hurt. Her stats are so good.
Best wishes. Your DD will be fine.
@5dis we have spent a bunch of time at Union, MHO and a little at UMASS. None have sent us dates for accepted students visits yet. Money will be part of the decision. And some intangibles. I’m sure.
@gingerland Union has admitted student days coming up. They have been very bad about publicizing them. Unlike other schools that send lots of exciting emails and post cards, Union has been silent. I only found out about the dates by looking on their website. Honestly, its a little disheartening. I wish they did a little more cheerleading the really get the kids excited.
https://www.union.edu/make-union-yours
I have found this college admissions process very eye opening (did it last year with my son and this year with my daughter). We were definitely more educated this time around.
I am begging my third child to go to university in Europe. Admission requirements are completely spelled out & I welcome that.
@GingerLand Sorry about what happened to your daughter; admissions is tough. Just wanted to let you know that Case Western accepted 586 from the waitlist last year according to their CDS (https://case.edu/ir/sites/case.edu.ir/files/2018-06/2017-2018-CDS.pdf). The school has a reputation for caring about demonstrated interest, so if she wants to go and tells the admissions office that, I think she has a good shot.
Is money a factor? If she got accepted off Case’s waitlist would you pay? If so, you should tell them that.
@GingerLand I’m not entirely familiar with the exact nature of the relationships, but it is obvious that there are that they matter. I have written elsewhere about the fact that out Chicagoland HS has a much higher than average acceptance rate to UChicago, Carleton, Grinnell, and other selective Midwestern colleges than their reported acceptance rates, while the acceptance rates to most colleges in the NE and mid-Atlantic, acceptance rates are average, except for a small number for which the acceptance rate is higher than average. When I say higher than average, I mean as high as twice or three times the average rate or higher.
So it is very possible that the fact that your D’s school is relatively new and unknown could have affected her acceptance chances.
Another problem is that, with acceptance rate pretty low, and with the probabilistic nature of acceptance, there is a good chance that a few of the 25,000 kids in the top 1% will, by chance, happen to be unlucky in all of their applications to very selective colleges. The fact that there are only a few is no consolation to those who belong to the few, of course. What is important, though, for people like your D, who belong to that unlucky few, is to remember that it is not because of anything your D did wrong or anything she didn’t do that she should have. It’s not really because of your D’s disability, or even that much because of the school being new. It’s bad luck, and hopefully this is the end of it.
You wrote "But it is all meaningless. ". It’s not meaningless. It has made her the amazing person she is. She knows that she’s smart. She’s danced, she’s help other kids, she’s accomplished great things. These don’t need the validation of admissions people at a bunch of colleges for you and your D to know how amazing they are.
This is a glitch, that’s all. She did amazing things at a new, unknown high school, so she can also do amazing things at any college in which she will land.
@MWolf Thanks. A couple good nights sleep on this and we will be sorted. She really is an amazing kid. She is feeling a little unloved by even the colleges that accepted her. But she is finding validation in what she sees from others’ experiences. She can kick butt at UMASS.
I love that. It echoes this from MIT:
I agree with the quote wholeheartedly! However the blog in my opinion is exactly the drivel that these traveling salesmen from the elite school keep shoveling every year and it’s why so many kids end up disappointed…similar to OP’s child. She did follow the advice in that blog and she is absolutely the better person for it. However, if you read between the lines the blogger is still saying it’s a crapshoot. And what parents and students should understand is that you can do everything he lists (and more) and still not be accepted, in fact that is by far the most likely outcome given the acceptance rates we are and have been seeing at the T30 schools in the last few years.
She was admitted to a top 30 LAC (which may be unaffordable) and a fine public flagship which is affordable. Those aren’t bad options.
I know MHC is way less affordable with no merit, but she should be proud that she was admitted given the steep drop in acceptance rate there (51% last year to 36% this year). MHC is amazing.
Do you know about VCU and the Richmond ballet? They offer a program where you can dance with the ballet and earn a degree from VCU. Another thought is that the schools were just practicing yield protection…maybe they just didn’t believe she would accept. What does the school counselor say?
I would give UMASS a look over Union. Proportionally at Union the football Greek life culture is much bigger for a small school. UMASS is large enough and diverse enough that as a dancer you will never meet a frat or football tailgate goer and have a fantastic and challenging academic and dance experience and an opportunity to take a class each semester at Amherst, Smith or MHC for free to boot. The reality is for NESCAC schools like Tufts if you have no hook: eg no legacy athlete or diversity, your chances are slim to nil. The numbers are just not in your favor for your demographic, you are competing for extremely few slots.
@waverlywizzard I hear you on all points. I just feel like an idiot for having spent so much time researching and not knowing the truth. Nothing she could have done was ever going to help her. Her brother was not such a high performer, didn’t design and invent and do original out of the box things. but he got into a great school because he did ED. With our finances stretched I thought my daughter needed to do RD so we could compare offers. Well, that assumes you get offers. I can’t believe how wrong I was. Given her stats, her awards, and numbers like 75th percentile stats from schools, I let myself think what she was worth to each school. And the answer is “not much.” Union keeps sending cards wondering if they will see her in the fall, but our pride is hurt. We confirmed there was no place for her in the Scholars Program. And MHO offered only need based aid and thinks she will go? She would be helping these schools stats but they don’t offer anything. Her stats and accomplishments are great but she couldn’t get in to Vassar, Bowdoin or Tufts. She is still on the CWRU waitlist just for giggles. That is going nowhere.
I feel like an idiot for thinking her efforts and accomplishments would yield anything. I feel horrible for encouraging all of her efforts. I should have told her to get some sleep and chill out. Could the results seriously have been worse? I have one more kid to get through this and she is not the over committed, multiple passions, 4.0 type. I don’t know what we will do. It all feels like a crooked game we played very very badly.
@1stTimeThruMom thanks for the info but I doubt my girl dances as that level and she is really hoping to step ballet down a notch. She just can’t think about stopping cold turkey.
@GingerLand thank you for sharing your message and your honest emotions. I am taking this as a cautionary message for the application season coming up. We didn’t let our older child apply ED and we were thinking we would keep the same policy for student 20. BUT now this kid wants a less available major (architecture) and we are seven years closer to retirement and we have less job security. Is a perfect storm brewing? Oh and yeah the stats are not as high as your students. Good luck to your family it’s not a complete shutout but you can still understandably feel a bit bruised. Sometimes parental and kid strategizing only gets you so far…
@GingerLand you wrote:
"MHO offered only need based aid and thinks she will go?"I
Are you saying that Mt Holyoke offered her some aid? My understanding is that at many schools, they don’t “stack” financial aid. So if she got $20K merit, for instance, that would reduce the cost of attendance and thereby your family need by $20K. What’s the difference whether the money comes from the merit pot or the need pot?
You sound like you’re really pissed off at these schools. Well that’s another argument in favor of UMass. You pay the lower tuition, and she can use the free bus and take as many classes as she wants at more selective and expensive institutions… like Mt Holyoke.
@Lynnski We have two kids in school next year. So I see MHO’s need money being a one year only offering. Her stats according to their page are the kind of stats merit kids have. So I was just stupid enough to think my kid (who has ECs and stats) would get merit. Help for one year is just not what I thought she’d get.