@Itisatruth I agree that the outcomes are startlingly different than even just a few years ago. For example, I still can’t fathom that my son is shut out of our state flagship, but I’m glad I learned that a year ahead of time…and fortunately son #2 is much more studious!
@GingerLand Have you considered a gap year? If she is unhappy with her choices, she may be likely to transfer…which is another kettle of fish.
@1stTimeThruMom my son the news junkie applied 6 years ago when the common app had a question about extracurriculars (not the main essay). He wrote about following the news in that secondary essay.
@1stTimeThruMom on a gap year: I offered. But I have little to offer her. My husband is unemployed and we need to get everyone through college. She has an energy running through her that refuses to stand still. She will do whatever feels most like moving forward to her. But she also hates the feeling of being diss’d or the notion of begging. She will not beg Union to let her in to the Scholars Program. Etc. so she will just - head down - devour her path. But I’ll let her choose it. Still can’t believe CWRU waitlist. It stung her watching kids on CC get accepted and to sit there as a Presidential Scholar Candidate with bupkis. Perhaps my next kid, with lower stats, will have better luck at CWRU.
A cheap study abroad alternative for a gap year is a Quebec cegep (college-like does not affect freshman status). Most are French language but some are bilingual and some are English speaking (but few/far between). Several include a dance program.
I hope that she does well wherever she chooses, good luck to her.
The issue is no one knows the entirety of any of the accepted students’ applications, nor do any of us know what was important to CWRU this year as they crafted their incoming class. My point is looking at the stats is just one part of the picture, and ignores many other important pieces of the puzzle.
Sorry for your, and your daughter’s disappointment. I have been seeing more and more of these types of situations both last year and this year, so it’s a good reminder for us parents of juniors and underclassmen that the application cycles in recent years is as competitive as ever.
Congrats to her on MHC (with $) and UMass. Great schools/options. Can you sell her on the consortium? She would have so much to do UMass, but could still get a taste of MHC (or Smith or Amherst or Hampshire) for something different. It seems like a good compromise without feeling like a compromise.
@Mwfan1921 the thing is, you can’t show is the “other important pieces of the puzzle” so there is no way to prepare. I believe colleges frequesty hide behind the notion of “best fit” or “other considerations.” I would love transparency. But will never see it. No school will ever admit that they view dancers negatively but love shortstops. No school will ever admit that thy are full up on New England kids - although Bowdoin came close by writing that they were moving to better recruit outside of New England and to be more diverse.
My kid recently did an accepted weekend. they put her in the “African Studies “ theme “House” for the weekend. When it came time for dinner she was asked if she identified as a person of color (she doesn’t and can’t) she was steered away from their dining area and sent elsewhere. She doesn’t know how to feel welcomed there. But she is willing to look beyond it.
I hear you @GingerLand . We will never know the details of a given student’s application, and why one student was accepted and a very similar one (to an outsider) not accepted. Yet, many factors regarding what schools want are knowable. For example, many New England schools are transparent that residents from the northeast, especially females, are at a disadvantage in admissions due to a desire for geographic diversity.
Athletic recruiting is a different animal for sure, but so much of that is transparent too. Everyone can see how many athletic scholarships there are at any given school (DI/II), and how many players on each team. For d3, many schools/conferences make public how many slots there are for each sport.
My intent is not to be critical, but to merely echo what @lookingforward is always telling us…that there is a lot of information out there about what a given school is looking for and/or what is important to them as they build a class.
It sounds like quite an odd experience your D had at accepted students day…what school did that happen at? Is your D closer to a decision?
@Mwfan1921 I disagree that schools are transparent. I think they want as many applicants as possible and so would never say that certain demographics are unlikely to be admitted.
^^^For informational and non-debate purposes only–D19 and I heard geographic diversity beyond the northeast states was a goal at many info sessions: Bowdoin, Hamilton, Williams, Lehigh, Bucknell, Richmond and UVA, and there were probably more that I don’t remember. Of course, they never say that females (generally white and upper middle class as well) from the northeast are those most disadvantaged, but further research quickly uncovers that.
40 years ago I applied to 6 colleges and got into one (the university of Rochester). So even then bad targeting was a thing :-). I knew I wanted to go to law school, and 4 years later I was accepted to a top 3 law school, and went. (For arguments sake, top 3 = Harvard, Yale and Stanford).
So, I have walked in your daughter’s shoes. The sooner you can move on and stop framing this as being a victim of a nefarious process the better it will be for your daughter. Start focusing on the positives.
Maybe the results were unfair, but hey, life’s unfair. This will not be the only time something unfair happens to her. She will learn a powerful lesson in resiliency now. Or not. She will view herself as a victim, with things out of her control. Or not. She will focus on the negatives. Or the positives. How do you want this to go?
@cinnamon1212 Off base given what we are dealing with. Who lectures a kid with a life threatening illness facing a loss of insurance on life being unfair? But I’ll let her know she just needs to focus on the positives (hey, we live close enough to Canada to get meds we can’t afford here!)
@GingerLand I am so sorry about the insurance situation. It must be incredibly stressful.
I am genuinely sorry about your situation. College admissions is confusing and not fair, and it feels like an extra blow on top of your situation with her health and insurance. I relate to the pain of rejection and feeling like hard work was not worth it. But I must ask, what is the point of this thread? You’re only pouring salt into the wound if you aren’t accepting other people’s advice and opinions. I don’t want to seem insensitive or rude but it appears that college confidential is not a place that will make your situation better. I wish you and your daughter the best, but as May 1st approaches, you can’t spare any time remaining upset on the Internet.
I apologize if this was already discussed but would your D consider starting at Mount Holyoke or Union and then transferring to a school which suits her better? I have a number of friends whose children did that quite successfully. All schools have attrition. Bet of luck to you and your D. She will be successful no matter where she chooses to attend.
Things have changed dramatically over the years due to the number of students attending, the sheer number of applications, the quantity of near or perfect GPA’s and standardized tests. Its difficult for adcoms to tell them apart.
I assure you that many of the best and brightest students are represented at many schools throughout the country. Many families are focused on merit and affordability and the state flagships each year are becoming progressively more difficult to gain admission and based on costs this trend will more than likely continue. Hence, why admissions to honor’s program are so competitive. Many of these institutions have plenty of kids equally qualified as those who attend top fifties. The competitiveness has trickled down to many institutions.
Coming to this thread late (and really sorry about that now), but @GingerLand, if your DH is currently unemployed and you’re about to run out of insurance coverage, CALL the financial aid office. They are making EFC calculations off 2017 earnings. Insulin isn’t cheap any more; ask them what you need to submit for a re-evaluation of your FA based on your medical expenses and reduced income.
@CountingDown We are talking with both colleges (my son’s and my daughter’s). The word is that it is an “appeal”. Appeals are made in June. And the warning is they can mess up financial aid later (by essentially - to the colleges’ point of view - borrowing ahead a year.). I’ve been pricing prescriptions under new plans once Cobra expires. It is not pretty. You are right.
The reality here is that the GCs were correct and your DD should have gone for broke (well, at least figuratively) in applying to the most selective schools if she wanted a shot at them. Where they missed the mark was that the FIRST step in ANY college application process is to make sure you have some schools that you can call safeties, likelies, what ever you want, but schools that you know you can afford that can provide what your daughter needs and wants in a college education. These are schools that may not have the name recognition of HPYSMC, though in the local areas they are often better known than those in that acronym. These schools are the soldiers that provide many students excellent education and springboard to top name schools for those who excel there. It’s not what the kids want to hear, and we, as parents, want the best for them, so it’s “settling” and can feel humiliating. It’s not.
Two true stories: a few years ago I went to a ceremony honoring a local college grad of a school many on this board have never heard of, I’m sure. Well known in the area. Many strong alumni who advocate for grads. Strong NYC presence. The young woman being honored, transferred out of Cornell to go to this school, Iona College, after an unhappy year or semester up in Ithaca. It was a tough decision for her as her family was heavily Cornell with a lot of legacy. She ended up having a rewarding, successful ug experience at Iona, becoming a Rhodes Scholar and getting the best of everything during her time there and thereafter. A big fish in a small pond yes. And a happy one.
A few years, (well, maybe more than a few), I cried with a friend who came to the difficult conclusion that her daughter could not go away to school despite some sterling acceptances. She was borderline in eating disorder issues and it took right up to the last minute to come to that conclusion, which was very difficult for all concerned. Her daughter did not take it well at all. It was rough. But they all survived (and that was an important thing with those issues) the 4 years and the DD graduated with the highest honors from local school, another that never seems to show up on these forums, and then went on to graduate/professional school at an ivy. Now doing as well as one can hope for any of our children.
So, these rough times can be rough bumps in the road that lead to a smoother ride later when things count a lot more. Of course, there are always those rough bumps that come along, sometimes insult over injury, or totally unexpected.
I don’t know if there are any local venues that might love to showcase your talented daughter, where she could make her mark, and soar out of the area, 4 years later. I don’t know if you’ll work out something with the schools that are still options. Yes, a gap year is an option, and with what you now know, you can do a reset. Some turbulence that is currently in your life may have settled by now. When you talk to Fin Aid offices, you now know the questions to ask regarding a second child entering the picture later. Right now with AOs and FAOs all under pressure with the new admits and waitlists, it’s hard to get anyone to sit down and give you a comprehensive picture of what each college can do for you. You can write it all down, and address these issues for next year in a much more leisurely fashion as you understand what all comes down the pike.
I am sorry when these things do not work out as expected. A lot of disappointment. When it happens to young people who have just worked hard and done all they were supposed to do and more, it’s particularly painful. It certainly isn’t fair, as you and your DD well know with the health issues that are in the picture as well. With my brood of kids, we got hit with a lot of “not fair”, some that nearly broke me.
I think things will work out for your DD, but not necessarily the way expected or on the timeline expected. Good luck to both of you and let us know how this is going.