Ugh, so sorry about the insulin situation. Canadian colleges would be tempting…
Late to the thread (I rarely venture out of the Prep School Admissions and Athletic Recruits subforums) but took the time to read all 11 pages after the thread title caught my eye.
Here’s my 2¢:
In some other recent thread, someone put forward the concept that “The things that make you a star in high school are just sort of ‘meh’ in selective college admissions.” Or something to that effect. And I think it’s a very good observation that more parents of future college applicants should take to heart.
I’m the parent of a STEM-y NMF who was largely shut out of the top tier (if you even consider Carnegie Mellon a top tier…though the Engineering school is Top 5) when she applied to college years ago, so I get the frustration. But I also get that my D was otherwise unhooked. And, more importantly, that the college admission game is not like it was when I was admitted to Penn with a mid-1300 SAT score back in the day.
As many folks have shared, having safeties that your kid can not just live with but love (and that your household can afford!) is key to not feeling bitter about the college process in 2019 (heck, 2014) and beyond. FWIW, my daughter chose a state flagship over CMU and has not really looked back/second-guessed that choice.
“What was the point in having a 1550 and 4.0 and the involvement and awards? The hours inventing. The hours teaching after school?”
They got her in to MHC and Union. Those are fantastic schools and it’s not like they just take anyone.
Any college that rejects over 2/3rds of applicants isn’t a safety for anyone. Stats are only part of the equation in holistic admissions. And in some cases like Vassar, it’s far more difficult for a girl to get in than a boy, so if you see the overall admissions rate, you should lower that by 50% if you’re female. Also, admit rates in the RD round are generally much lower than in ED, so lower it even more. And assume that 3/4th of the applicant pool are as qualified as you (unless you’re nationally/internationally ranked in something).
“Something went wrong and no one will ever tell us what it was.”
IMO, the only thing that went wrong was expectations-setting.
Any college that rejects over 2/3rds of applicants isn’t a safety for anyone.
“But the art and the invention/coding she would not have taken the time to jump through hoops and enter competitions with except for colleges”
Yeah, it is crazy, which is why, unless there are clear achievable goals (recruited athlete, winning some prestigious competition, etc.), I’m not a fan of doing stuff just to impress colleges these days. Since who knows what each want.
@GingerLand Appreciated your honest post and sharing. Your daughter seems amazing and actually seems to me like a good candidate for top rich schools like Yale and Stanford, given her desire to continue dancing. Perhaps some of the schools you applied to had not much financial ability to be generous. As a parent with an unhooked non-STEM kid who had slightly lower test scores and GPA at a competitive Southern CA high school, I viewed test scores and GPAs as meeting the minimum requirements for the school thing, and instead focused on other things, such as having for sure safety schools (Univ of South Carolina and UNLV) which will give merit money and Honors designation and few matches (UCLA and Cal) our kid would have been reasonably happy to attend, before buying a lottery ticket to his dream college, Stanford.
For what it’s worth, I would have accepted your daughter if I were an adcom at Stanford and given her great financial aid.
So did the OP’s d choose Mount Holyoke? It would be nice to hear how she is settling in.
Hindsight is 20/20 but from reading this thread it seems the biggest issues are:
Overrepresentative demograhics - a female from NE applying to small colleges in NE
Applicant needing merit and/or coming from low SES family.
Niche focus on ballet but didn’t even submit video supplements of her dance.
Did ECs like art and coding just to look better for college admissions.
Could have been a mistake to talk about her Type 1 diabetes especially when future medical complications could be an issue not only for dance but academic classes.
Did not apply to colleges that take more sheer numbers of freshman (many top 20 colleges that are need blind).
Lastly, we don’t know the quality of her interviews, course rigor and LORs.
The good news is she has some good options and I have a feeling will thrive wherever she ended up.
This seems like the biggest factor, by far.
I recommend reading this week’s NYTimes magazine article on wealth and admissions, particularly the last page which outlines exactly how the admissions departments use outside enrollment management companies to hit all their benchmarks with as little tuition discounting as possible:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/09/10/magazine/college-admissions-paul-tough.html
BTW I’m don’t really see it as a criticism of colleges. Just reality.
How I wish
Hmm, my post failed. Here it is.
How I wish we were having this discussion 12 months ago. Then, some could have helped them fine tune. And one of the better things CC does is steer families toward true safeties, incl affordability.
I read every page, hoping to learn what decisions and, now, how well the D is adjusting.
Thing is, in any situation where we’re talking 3:1 (or up to 5:1 or even 10:1) applicants to admits, there is NO assurance that our beloved kids will claim a spot. Is that the colleges’ fault? Some would say yes, that they should build more classrooms and dorms…because our kids wants to go there.
It’s just not how it goes. And no matter how much “research,” you can’t know your local or area competition. Our “best” kid in one small hs reflects only that one hs.
The colleges are building a class. Not just endorsing our kids or their “wants.” And it’s NOT a prize you get for extra efforts. CC should get away from thinking any miss is a life sentence.
I hope this worked out.
Btw, OP gone since Aug 21.
Hmmmm as the parent of a D20 with very similar stats who is also a ballet dancer - this thread is a bit concerning.
Doubt very much that it had to do with her extracurricular interests. Clearly people who are full-pay have a huge advantage — and even so-called need-blind schools can tell who would be full-pay just by looking at summer activities. But also sometimes there’s a problem with the application. A student may write something in the essay that doesn’t come across well, or occasionally a teacher may do a crappy job with a recommendation. My daughter and a friend of hers were similarly matched academically. The friend had probably better extracurriculars. My D got into all but one of her targets. The friend, whose essay was not good, got into only one of hers, where she was a legacy. (She showed my D her essay only after she had applied.)
Threads like this are so depressing, I feel for you OP. I hope your daughter is having a successful freshman year.
@lookingforward , give it time, it’s not even been a month, haha:-)
I remember this thread and I do think that it’s likely there were too many reaches and not enough affordable matches and/or safeties.
I have no way of knowing, but the essay, while probably well-intentioned, might have inadvertently been off-putting to some colleges. Don’t give them a reason to say no, even if it’s well-written and moving, etc…
I think, with top colleges, there are too many important factors to point to one probable failing. It could have been anything.
More important, she very well “could” have been an ultimate finalist, just missed out on the final coin toss, so to say. None of this is as simple as one has the stats and some ECs, writes a good enough essay, and Bingo!, she’s in, with roses.
We told ours, your job is to make the best app you can; after that, it’s in the hands of adcoms. You just never know what else or who else they’re considering. Like any contest.
And the life lesson is in the resilience and rebound.
This is a valuable thread because the student discussed is clearly quite a gifted young woman. One would have though that a place in the state honors program would have been a given. I’ve become extremely cautious about these assumptions, having followed Pitt over 25 years.
When I first worked with the university, it was pretty much a given that an applicant like the OP’s DD would be a shoo-in for the Honors College as well as a nice fat scholarship. I knew ever so many kids getting the Chancellor ‘s Scholarship. Now there are maybe a dozen given out.
Just a few years ago, my son was offered an auto free ride deal with perks at Temple U. No more.
It has become increasingly difficult to get sizeable merit money even as the size of the smaller awards seem to have gone up
Demonstrated interest has become extremely important at a lot of schools and has become a “Tuft’s Syndrome” thing, IMO. A lot of kids give off vibes that they aren’t that interested in a school and they have no clue. I nearly pulled off the ear of one of mine who didn’t seem to understand that he was supposed to be working on getting accepted to these schools.
A poster on this forum was incredulous that an 80% accept rate school wouldn’t be a safety for her. Well, it was a state school, and she was OOS. Better get that app in early too. Program was a highly desired one. Looking at the Honors college and the % of kids in there, and they seemed to be representative of all of the disciplines of the school, with her choice of major having a bulk of high stats students it was no shoo in that she’d get a seat in there, and it was no safety in any case.
It’s really difficult to get a lot of merit money at schools is truly something all seeking it should realize. The very few schools left with guaranteed merit are true gems in that regard.